Don’t take these to Vegas: Week 1

Since these are the first picks of the season, here’s a short history of the evolution de useless blog. I can always remember people saying I should be a football play by play guy, but I can’t be impartial and I’d burn up the delay button by the second quarter, so ehh – not for me. Once I joined in the fun of NASCAR fantasy picks (and subsequently we started doing college picks) I grabbed the infamous Slackman style ramblings/format and added my opinions to try and make a pseudo funny/informative look at how I come to my picks. I found I liked spewing nothingness and could do it on many subjects, thus giving an outlet for the voices in my head. If I am only funny or enjoyable every 2 out of 5 posts, then I’d be in the hall of fame by baseball standards!

Given that you now know how this all came to be, I say here are my picks and good luck, but less luck than me!!!

10 pts – USC wins, I have a rule about traveling to Hawaii and how distracting it can be, but that generally applies to Midwest teams going for a bowl game and not So Cal guys who see short white skirts daily. Plus, Hawaii sucks, SC still has talent galore and who doesn’t want to see them run the table and have to sit at home for being the cheaters we all know they have always been, sadly Pete jumped ship before he got his, how very brave of you Pete.

9 pts – TCU wins, Well I’ll buy in I guess to the little guy hype on this one, plus pac10 teams (not called Trojan) don’t generally travel well out of conference early in the season. I can only hope Oregon St can have someone go L. Blount and Mike Tyson a hornfrog lineman after the game.

8 pts – Mizzu wins, how is Zooker still coach? Cooper is amazed at how you can do so little with so much talent. Richrod should take note that if you pull some big upsets (i.e. illini v bucks 07) you can ride that to a lot of forgiveness like the Zooker.

7 pts – T.U.N. wins, this is where emotions and personal beliefs affect decision making. Everything I read and hear points to a 3rd train wreck season for richrod, but I just can’t believe it. Something smells fishy and with him talking about which quarterback is ahead and taking the wings from Forcier and then him earning them back etc etc……. I think if he gets rid of the turnovers he is very dangerous. I will ignore how depleted the defense is and just assume that bringing in the 3-3-5 to bigten play will work, some? Jesus, being a buckeye fan is like being in witness relocation, paranoia!!

6 pts – NC wins, Well butchy screwed my a lot last year, but I keep hearing how he has 8, that’s right 8, first round picks on defense this year. You don’t have to have David Klinger’s offense to win games if the other team can’t score. Oh and butchy, letting some of your players live in a plush 150 a night hotel, might send up some red flags to NCAA investigators. But, it’s not your problem just whoever the coach is in 5 years when the NCAA gets around to penalizing NC, while you and the players involved are living the good life in the NFL. (That’s right reggie I’m talking bout you F-ing cheater)

5 pts – Kst wins, let’s face it even if the scoreboard says Kst won, we all agree that the guys at UCLA win everyday walking to class?! Good to see Bill Snyder back with all his superstitions, I like guys with superstitions - makes me feel less weird. He only likes soft butter and will only sit on the shady side of a plane. How one figures that out is beyond me, but its awesome crazy funny!!

4 pts – Purdue wins, I think Brian Kelly is going to do good things at ND, but not sure if he’ll get that defense there in season 1. We will see if Purdue’s coach is right and we need to “get used to it” (it being Purdue being good) or if they just got lucky last year and will go back to the mediocrity that is normal for them.

3 pts – L’ville wins, Unless Calapari has figured out how to illegally recruit for Kentucky football like he is doing for Kentucky basketball, I’m going with the home team.

2 pts – Wash wins, the great white Locker is back to take on the - we are going ND in football fighting Mormons. What network will score that mighty TV contract for the throngs of Ty Detmer fans? This totally goes against my pac10 teams on the road early theory, but I told you none of this makes sense, I just make it up as I go and I’m pretty sure the voices in my head don’t BBM each other. Oh yeah and I drove thru Utah a couple of years ago, do it for your self and you will understand Polygamy!!

1 pt – Boise St wins, I want Va tech to absolutely hammer Boise St and put them in their place, but the Blue turfs probably will stay close and might get lucky. Furthermore, why do some (nationally) preach the gospel of ‘beamer ball’ yet Tressel is too conservative and has no offense? I guess that’s a bigger question for another time, but it should be called ‘Senator Ball’, play great defense-great special teams-don’t turnover the ball.


If you’ve made it this far (which is probably just me so now I can add talking to myself on the list for the psychiatrist) then I hope you gleamed (now I want to rent/watch Gleaming the Cube) some info and maybe had a chuckle. Look forward to more posts (not so long) in the weeks to come and hopefully can bring home the trophy this year!!