wk 7 cfb picks

Well i'm pretty close to out of winning anything this year, but who knows, lets get weird...

10pt, Bama wins - Oh tenn you almost did three weeks of insane comebacks in a row, but just lost that magic and now your reward? Getting Butt Fucked in your own stadium by Satan himself. I mean look at the line, Bama is a 10 pt favorite on the road in a conference game against a top ten ranked team. That's basically vegas saying ayo bitches suck and this team is going to annihilate everyone, keep in mind with a true freshman qb, so that ought make cfb fans tired of the 48 of cfb winning want to vomit.

9pt, Colorado wins - well pass my the chiba monkey the buffs are good again and despite them getting off to a slow start and not being able to overcome late at condoms last week they should beat the sun devils handly at home.

8pt, Miami (fl) wins, did I time travel to the early 90's for this blog? No cause blogs weren't around and I don't see Antonio Langham right now. I know he was a bama guy, but damn if he wasn't spectacular.

7pt, Sparty wins, what can heal some bad play - northwestern - also this game is more interesting to THE and Tun fans than they know as grumpy grandpa face has benched qb for jr qb that was a big recruit as a spread offense type qb and for some reason choose sparty? Anyway, if they look good with new qb the puckering of buttholes from ann arbor to columbus will be immense.

6pt, Maryland wins, I got nothing on this, it Kills me that I have nothing. Pound sign too soon? I miss Ralph Fregisions (spelling?) good question though, think Coach Ralph is dead or alive?

5pt, Bucks win, This was hard for me to have so high coming off the light being shed to the masses what i've said since 2014 about JT's subpar arm and wisky's sick sick defense but as good as their defense is I think their offense is equally as bad.

4pt, ND wins, fg jesus vs can we end the white hype rb - on Kirk Ferentz head stone it should read here lies the man that robbed the people of Iowa of more money than the democratic party and let people believe that a white rb could put up amazing numbers in the rose bowl against a good team when that was just a paper tiger that had no business being in the fucking Rose Bowl.

3pt, Pitt wins, wanted to go Hoo's for slackman but Pitt is just a better team, not as good as Mark Dueche May probably thinks they are or ever could be, but throw the dog a bone.

2pt, Ttech wins,  best game this week in big 12 and they wander why no one considers them a good conference?

1pt, Our Kansas wins, oh su piggy Berts gonna get wild at home vs Ole, get some bert get some!!

There ye have it, Go Bucks, Go Tribe and Come on 1-15, get 1 Browns please we don't wanna join the Lions in only Defeated teams in NFL history.

cfb wk 6 picks

So week 4 was too busy to write up my picks so sent in with voice message and went 9-1 which stoked my superstitious nature which was dowsed when last week I went back to my normal mediocrity. So back to just rambling silly in my blog that almost nobody reads and yet is probably more people than should actually read this non sense.

10 pt winner - Bama, no way bloated bert is beating satan even at home. I heard today in a podcast that Joey Lauren Adams is from Arkansas and I didn't fact check but if true is one of the most mind blowing things I've ever heard and easily they only thing attractive to ever come out of that shit hole of a state.

9 pt winner - Buckeyes, yes indy is better and yes this should make us buckeye fans a little nervous, but we should win and as I told my boss (that gets nervous about every single game) if we are good enough to win what we want to win we will win these lesser games and if we falter it should prepare us for the games that we really care about.

8 pt winner - Okla, I know I know rivalry but Charlie Strong's big see we're back on the right track win over ND doesn't look so good right now and the Sooners I think out score tejas in a shootout where both defenses look like panties after a girl forgets the red river shootout is coming and has no protection.

7 pt winner - A&M, aggies at home and can flat out score and Tenn has to be out of miracles after last couple of weeks. If i'm wrong watch out for orange fever as it's been a long long time since the tenn tophats have had a reason to put in their church teeth and go out in public and cheer loudly for their volunteer's.

6 pt winner - ND, yes yes yes I know I just said how unimpressive tejas win over ND was and ND is not good, but went and looked at who ncst has played (no one) and think ND goes on road and gets a 'big' win for fg jesus and starts to turn things around.

5 pt winner - Auburn, I wanted to put this higher in confidence but you never know what Auburn is going to show and on the road in the SEC is always anything can happen.

4 pt winner - Kan St, big12 who knows who knows, going home team and 117 yr old Bill Snyder to get the 'big' win in the who gives a fuck bowl.

3 pt winner - Miami, yes that's right Miami is a favorite in this game for first time in probably 10 years or so? I'm picking them cause they're at home, defense is playing very well and fuck knows what is going on with FSU right now? Kind of thinking/hoping lots of people buy the hype and pick the U and higher than this because I still think at some point free shoes U could remember how much talent they have and start pounding peeps.

2 pt winner - Colorado, that's right i'm picking Colorado to win at Trojans and it's not a joke, i'm not high and i'm not secretly gay for Chris Fowler. The close play at Tun appears not to been a fluke and maybe maybe the Buffs are on the road back to being relevant?

1 pt winner - ASU, the sun devils are 9.5pt home dog and in a conference that doesn't play defense (accept for eventual champ Wash) I think vegas is hinting at a upset, taking my shot at trying to steal a win that not to many other people will have we shall see.

Bonus picks, LSU and super interim hc (why would anyone hire this guy as an assistant?) Ed Orangin takes LSU and all their talent in to the swamp and pulls the upset. NC beats VT and if they stomp them look for NC to possibly go back to the ACC champ game for second year in a row. Wash should win, but look for Oregon to be close or maybe even pull upset cause huskies only struggle this year has been against spread offense.

ok, there you have it nothing wild this weekend to rant on just a nice solid lineup of quality games.

wk 3 cfb picks

Well shit, I took calculated risk last week that did not pay off with purdon't and illini and i'm fine losing those 3 pts to the field, but those fucking purple cunt hornfrogs can't beat bert and the most fitting nickname of a school ever when you see there wisker faced whore women! WTF? Does the C stand for coward? Seriously I know i'm going to sound like a asshole eastern time zone d bag, but all football west of the est zone is a damn joke!! Save the Petey professional Trojans run of the mid 2ks and the thanks Vince for not letting people call me Mac Cooper all the other nat titles of what the last 25/30 years come from the east? Oh sorry I forgot about Nebraska, ya know when you could still run the option exclusively and win a nat title? Shit i'm just bitter, shocker, oh well lets see if I can get further back in the standings with my own bad picks and not just with bs fucking losses by teams that should stick to selling their bs religion in pour countries and leave the football to real teams!!

10 pt winner, Bama - you put bama in picks and i'm picking them as my 10 every week cause if Satan is gonna win i'm gonna gain from it!! #spokenasachildofthe90's

9 pt winner, Houston - a loss here helps the power 5 and I want non power 5 and independents to go away, just make the 4 super conferences already and then we'll have a true playoff with winner of those 4 (16-20 team) conferences and no bitching ever again and no polls and well they played blah blah.

8 pt winner, Stan - idk, probably will be my tcu pick this week but Trojans suck, vegas line is higher than i'd expect and white Heisman is at home - what could go wrong?

7 pt winner, Nd - still nervous because Kelly has gonna full Irish with drinking problem and can't see he has a true qb and needs to run from this play both bs (had he done that they beat tejas by 10). Look for el prez selfie partner to try and get another prime time win that looks impressive but means jack shit - no rings means no importante

6 pt winner, FSU - again I want this to make these schools push to get in power 5 hopefully soon to be only 4 conferences. Also, qb for l'ville been sick but against who? and fsu rb/offense should shred l'ville - look for a crazy game maybe in the 63-56 range.

5 pt winner, Auburn - I got nothing, going home team and pt spread here

4 pt winner, Miami (fl) - Kudos el prez maybe the best game you've ever put in picks, spread is close so peeps can't complain, there are 'better' matchups with 'known' teams but fuck this is a dare you to pick the little guy who has done it before to do it again against the fallen giant - and seriously Miami, away game at app st? Really? Hey least they'll be a bigger crowd then you get for home games. Miami fans make so cal fans look like diehards!

3 pt winner, Nebraska - why do I do this to myself, why do I think home field will give the pink shirts a chance to maybe have hope again? what is wrong with me?

2 pt winner, UCLA - don't you fuck me bruins!! Ok, well if you are a cheerleader yes please, but wait no i'm married!! No bruin fucking!!

1 pt winner, OSU - I ain't picking against my team and Urban, but well as slack keeps pointing out we are due and Urban is due and the used to call me Big Game Bob is due - F that Bob Cooper this ain't 2k and we might not win out this year with our schedule and our is he over hyped qb, but we will storm norman like W on powered line resting on a coed's titty durning nam!!

bonus pick for free this week - you Colorado, you don't tug on superman's cape, you don't mess around with slim and you sure as hell don't mess around with a big jim crazy nose picker/eater thug life and expect not to get cut in 100 places and stabbed in 100 more!! when this games over you won't even have the soles of your feet left!! Tun 63 Kordell Back Mountains - 0!!

There ya have it, I must say even if my picks suck in results I drop mic the shit out of them in rambling non sense with occasion funny!! Peace i'm out!!

wk 2 cfb picks for 2016

Well week one was everything it was hyped up to be and more, so to follow up that big ole 72oz juicy steak cfb scheduling brings us the bird crapped on the cake of week 2 games!! On up side this gives El Prez his annual opportunity to appease his so cal (EX) in-laws and simultaneously torture me with having to pick the fucking Aztecs game! Marshal Faulk ain't there, I ain't care!!

Ok, let's just hope I don't ruin the whole season this week cause I have no idea on these games...

10 pt, L'ville winner - only team between Tom Herman and a playoff spot after last weeks upset.

9 pt, Iowa winner - I mean he did just get a nice fat extension. I don't know how every girl that is a 4 but fucks and sucks like a 10 isn't living in Iowa because they will show you a billionaire life for Roseanna level effort.

8 pt, TCU winner - Bert oh Bert, had enough yet? They want you to win, not start to look like the school mascot you bright red fat piece of shit.

7 pt, Tenn winner - or what ever you wanna tell the fans happens as the seat views for that game are terrible!! First row of stadium won't be able to tell wtf is going on and certainly they will have zero problems with the refs mic!!

6 pt, SDSU winner, hope i'm wrong!!!

5 pt, Miss St winner, they have to rebound right?

4 pt, Pitt winner, Penn st better find a way to pull this upset or Franklin better update the ole resume. Kind of hard to believe all the bad luck befallen the nittny lions after allowing and continually honoring a man that at best was clueless to and at worst turned a blind eye to a pederast roaming the bathrooms of central PA for 3 plus decades.

3 pt, Utah winner,  should be my one pt game and maybe best match up of the weekend but i'm picking some upsets and putting them in 1/2 spots.

2 pt, Illinois winner, so b1g got a little something going last weekend and maybe looking to extend this weekend? Well doubtful and reality will come back and cost me 3 pts, but fuck it - here's to my dad and his b1g homer attitude this week!!

1 pt, Purdon't winner, should have seen this coming after that last pick. Seriously the FACT (as slack would say) that two b1g teams are 6 and 9 pt home dogs (coming off wins in week 1) to a non power 5 (cincy for now) and a basketball school (nc) is the most "stop voting a bum like ferentz coach of the year and recognize the big coaches in your conference" middle finger vegas can give a conference!!


Well there it is, fingers crossed my picks will land soft and gentle and shine, shine like the polished gold on ole dirty harbum's fresh chainz!!

CFB week 1 2016!!!!!

Sweet Martha mother of Jibbers it's football season again and what a glorious first week of games we have!! I mean fuck the SEC has not 1 but 2, that's right TWO games against good teams ABOVE  the Mason-Dixon line!! OK one is in WV which is only geographically above the line, but beggars can't be choosers right? So with that knowledge you will notice a strong, stronger than Charlie not Strong lean towards picking the SEC to win and picking them high in my points rankings. This is what superstitious hate filled gamblers like myself call a win-win scenario!! If they win as they likely will then I will have a good to great opening week of picks and oh dear jibbers make it so as I wash my feet in the blood you spillith they all lose then fuck my points and shut yo mouth -South!! This SEC scheduling of some actual competition brings up two good points - m) scheduling is way way too far out in the future, cause when LSU/Bama scheduled wisky/Trojans (some party that would be) both schools were far more competitive than they are in their current state (see buckeyes sched of Cal) and you just never know what teams will be in 7-8 years from when scheduling (not every blue blood program gets a Saban to pull them from 20+ years of mediocrity) is done and 5) why other conferences don't learn from the SEC and put their one real hardcore dogshit pushover game in middle/end of season is beyond me, it's like a second bye week!! Anyway, at least glad to see first few weeks of season has way more competitive match ups as it should!! Now lets get pickin!!

Playoffs, I've seen lots of espn guys with two schools from same conference and lots from same side of conference (ala clem/fsu or mich/osu)picking both in playoffs and this is just crazy! To think all the other conferences are going to be so vomit run with multiple losses and you are going to have a school not play in it's conference championship game and make the playoffs? You wanna buy some swamp land in jersey off me? I'll give you a Hoffellava price!! So then i'm going chalk pretty much and nothing crazy with my picks, I almost went Pac 437 with UCLA or Washington, but from everything I read these schools will knock each other out of contention in regular season and until one of them wants to consistently play good defense not buying it!!

So my playoff predictions are - Bama/Clem/Okla/Tsun (I don't really think thug life in khaki's is there yet for a title run and yes they have 'both' their rivals on the road, but I think the defense will be stupid good, the only hard games they have are us and sparty and i'm not sure what he does to those qb's in the sleepovers but they play like the ghost of joe pa is chasing them into a bathroom in not so happy valley!!)

Da Picks -

10 pt winner - Bama, fuck and duh!! There won't be time for Trojans, this is going to be opps did I slip and put it there, sorry honey are you ok time!!

9 pt winner - LSU, think bert is ready to swallow (he looks like he eats everything else) his pride and ask for his old job back? Yeah why would you wanna go get pounded at Ar Kansas when you could have stayed at wisky and played for a conf title every year you figured out the daunting task of beating Nebraska St (the pink shirts) and 4 time coach of the year Kirk Hawkeye? Good call Bert!!

8 pt winner - Okla, I might be crazy and love coach Herman the genius but talent has to win out here, right?

7 pt winner - God damn point spreads, dafaq do I have this as my 7 pt game for? dammit mount ur deers fuckers let the pundits be correct for once and win like it says you should!! Couldn't go all SEC winners and this will probably hurt me.

6 pt winner - Clem, this is almost like picking SEC winners cause if  'woody should have thrown two punches st' goes and choads against 'can we pay Cam another 250k' st then I will laugh and laugh and laugh - sorry pretender programs don't lose nat title games and expect to be taken seriously as a blue blood program, ask Oregon trails.

5 pt winner - FSU, thought bout picking them for my playoff pick over clem, but went chalk/experts but look for free shoes U to be a serious contender to put clem back in their place and see what a school that knows how to finish after yelling 'F her in the P!!' looks like.

4 pt winner - UGA, imagine the look on Mark Cooper's face in south beach if in year one Saban disciple Kirby gets to the playoffs! (won't happen, but be a great oh fuck me day in south beach and Tuscaloosa if it did)

3 pt winner - A&M, one of those games where you so wish this was week three so you could see what these teams actually look like on the field before picking, but ultimately went home team, though if the bruins can find anything on defense at all they could be really special this year!

2 pt winner, ND, well felt way more confident in this pick if thug lepricons hadn't lost some players right before season starts, but still not buying that being really ok at l'ville means winning at tejas.

1 pt winner, Zona, yeah richrod means 1 pt cause how can you be confident in him ever?

And there it is, another season is upon us and my non-sense rantings are off to a fine start if I do say so myself!!

Oh and Go Bucks!!!!!

A post, what's a post?

Either i've run out of bullshit to say lately or i've been busier than normal, who knows? I surely got some hot air left in me somewhere.

sooooooo....

Fuck I have won Budnascar before and I do math research and shit and have really good reasoned picks and I am in dead last! Then it I thought fuck it i'm going crazy picks to see if I can just get lucky and what else have I been missing? Clearly I need to blow my bullshit out in the webousphere for no one to read unless they are unfortunate enough to call me a friend and receive emails from me!!

I mean I can't get any worse right?

So my goal was to pick 4 first time winners and I did 3 and a guy that it would feel like a first time win as long as it has been.

Daytona - Well i've been a jinx for the 88 this year and since most will pick him could be big chance to make up a lot of points on the field and if he wins it i'll be happy anyway. But I stayed with the HMS power at Daytona and predict "start it with your face" is gonna get his first cup series in the Jason Pierre Paul 500!!

Kentucky - I'm not sure how many piss breaks el prez will take drinking at home next sat night, but i'm gonna ask slack to just drop a pizza on a random stranger so Kahne can regain some of that dodge/everingham magic he had at the 600 we saw (some of us saw more than others) and return to victory lane for first time in a long time.

Loudon - I see the 3!!! getting back to victory lane in Bore Hampshire, not sure why, just a feeling and it would be fitting as most people I know can't stand that race and won't be watching unless they have absolutely nothing else to do.

Indy - The 42 finally wins at the brickyard, I mean how great if Larson gets his first victory at the race that probably caused the former driver of the 42 to say fuck this i'm going back to racing that doesn't have jet trucks on the track at same time as the cars!!

Now I know chances are these four races will go 31/18/48/27 and then i'll be Mama Cass'd on Jersey Mike's before X's 4th bday!!

Oh shit, I gotta get a giant 4 cake for his bday, i'll be only one laughing, but fuck i'll laugh hard as shit!! 4!! He did when making picks with callie this week say "cause that's Julie's driver and he's fast but not as fast a forrary's and slack likes forary's" sometimes I wonder if he's not listening or just ignoring me to piss me off - guess it is the latter, fucking punk! Lucky he hasn't dropped a C word on anyone!

"God sends the storm, so you know he's the only shelter"

This was sign on church I drive by every day this morning.

Huh? ‘I only beat her so she knows how much I love her officer’

I AM AN ATHIEST

That is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write, I know just how much it could/would hurt people I love very much to read. But we all know the hardest things in life are usually the truest and most important.

I don’t want to be an atheist, I hem haw dance around and think well maybe I’m agnostic or something else, but that’s all bullshit – push comes to shove and I don’t ‘belief’ there is an all-powerful all-knowing god playing king dickhead ruler and schemer in the sky. I mean he gives kids cancer? He gets Russian nannies to behead fucking 3 yr. olds and walk around with the head screaming  ‘god is great’? 2 children in New York have died from herpes because their parents are Orthodox Jews and had them circumcised by a Moya – a orthodox Rabbi that performs circumcisions with his mouth, because that’s how ‘god’ wants it to be?

I won’t say why, why, why me (not a 90’s Olympic skater) because I know why. We all do, the thought that this is it and maybe we didn’t or were never given the circumstances to do more is impossible to come to terms with, that I will never see my grandfather again.  That the only truly great accomplishment of my life – my son - could be taken from me in a moment’s notice or that I could be taken from him; that I could fail him in the most important way, by not being around. That haunt’s me any moment of the day I’m unable to fill with busy work.

There is an amazing silver lining…

The human spirit truly does overcome.  Our will to live, love, laugh, share, and be with our friends. Hell the majority of religious people I know are the types that make me long to find a spiritual side. Their faith is a thing of beauty and not used for hate and oppression. They use it to be closer to others and to give back, help others, make the world a better place. If only the leaders, men in power of the major religions in the world were this way and not using religion for what it was invented for and has always and will always be used for – power and control.

I have a dream where I die and get to the pearly gates and god is sitting at a poker table smoking a big cigar and holding a pair of 2’s over junk and laughing and says “well done, you called my bluff”. Being that I am a non-believer finding myself in death in front of God,  I am silenced by confusion and fear. Then god says, “relax, have a smoke and a beer. Grab a chair, you won” and I stammer, “but I’m uh, you know all the bad things I’ve said and thought about you?” and god says “all I care about is people are good, the rest is bs – isn’t that ironic?” (I can’t help you and neither can she if you don’t get that joke)

I really shouldn’t do my first blog post in month’s when I have the stomach flu and see a church sign, little too run down to hold in my true feelings and spare the feelings of other’s.

To anyone fighting something that ‘well that’ll never happen to me’, my thoughts and well wishes are with you and your doctor’s. If faith and prayer helps you great, I’m for anything that gives people the will to fight to live; my thoughts and prayers will be with the scientific and medical community. In the 10k years of man, it has only been the last 100 to 150 years that we have been able to change the outcome of how long and with what quality of life we live. As Lennon would say ‘Imagine’ what can be in the future.