Bowl Game musings

I don't think i'm going to turn in/spend money to gamble this year and I really only enjoy doing this for the game titles, so don't take my advice on any games, I will probably lose more than I win with these picks.

Also, my grammar might be worse then normal as I did this in about half an hour and didn't proof read at all and spell checked in 30 seconds and well the few of you that actually take time to read my insane ramblings know how poor my grammar is usually. Here it is, hope you enjoy and laugh at least once maybe more?

The we’re not Under armor or Nike but we hope to be please buy our stuff Gildan New Mexico Bowl – Colorado St will win this game in honor of their greatest coach Earl Bruce!!

The it’s not the lubricant you’d expect to advertise for this bowl Royal Purple Las Vegas bowl – I had to look it up, but Royal purple is a motor oil advertising for Las Vegas bowl, I’ve been to Vegas twice and this bowl should be sponsored by Astro-Glide! Any way I’ll take Fresno St to win because Trojans aren’t used effectively in Vegas – what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas! Maybe next year it will be called The CDC Las Vegas bowl!

The if we keep saying we’re famous maybe we’ll be famous someday Idaho Potato Bowl – We get it, nothing important happens in Idaho besides Potatoes, we don’t care. Surprisingly this might actually be a pretty good matchup and I want to pick Buffalo, but I think SDSU will win.

The you’ve seen our trucks jack-knifed on the highway R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl – If they ever name this the Chocolate city Bowl I’ll be there!! I know nothing about these teams, but I’ll take ULL to win.

The Bw’s of the south Beef O’Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl – ECU beats the actual Ohio University which I wish was playing that team up north just to see what Coach Hoke would call them and so that they’d have a shot at losing twice to ‘Ohio’.

The if I can afford to go to Hawaii one day I’m not staying at a Shearton Hawai’i Bowl – Boise St wins because they’ll be focusing on the Beavers while the Beavers are trying to focus on other beavers!!

The kmart of pizza should be the sponsor for a bowl game in Detroit Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl – BGSU wins and has 11 wins!! Unbelievable!!

The how many flowers are you buying that you need to finance the purchase S.D. County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl – N. Ill wins as their QB sets every offensive record for this Bowl Game.

Say something funny about us fat man we dare you Military Bowl presented by Northrop Grumman – Maryland wins and the Sad Ten tries to claim it this year to help what will be an awful bowl record again.

The best bowl because we don’t have a sponsor Texas Bowl – Minn wins, 1 of only 2 wins I see for the Sad Ten.

Still losing but still trying Fight Hunger Bowl – It be easier to fight hunger if ya’ll didn’t sell your food stamps for pennies on the dollar to use the money on Lucky Strikes and Clamato but who am I to judge… BYU wins because Wash coach is a Trojan now.

The I love their hats but hate when people leave the bill flat because I’m a product of the 90’s bend that shit tight and wear it back words like it’s meant to be worn punk New Era Pinstripe Bowl – Notre Dame wins and will be back at the top next year when they get their QB back, assuming he minds his P’s and Q’s in school this time.

Nothing says football like online shopping for clothes Belk Bowl – Don’t care but I’ll pick Cincy

Yes we make the helmets but seriously we make other sports stuff too check us out please Russell Athletic Bowl – Louisville wins – Browns draft their QB – I slit my wrists – Callie saves my life – then kills me in anger that I would try to kill myself over the Browns.

If your in Ohio you should be going to Roosters for your wings Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl -  Mich wins and yes I realize the Bad Ten I have at 2-0 so far in picks, but wait it gets real ugly coming up.

The we spend more than the next 12 highest spending countries in the world combined Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl – Come on world don’t you love how we spread the peace? It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a hope there’s not a computer glitch in the sat nav guidance system “our bad” attack drone!! My country this of thee… This next line is directly for Slackman – “… Shoot, a fella’ could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.” Navy wins right? Go Navy Beat MTSU doesn’t sound as good.

Fuck helping you out on your bad home loan you weren’t really qualified for when we were giving mortgage loans away like tooth paste we need to advertise for a football game no one cares about Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl – Ole Miss wins

I’m a 7/11 man so F off Valero Alamo Bowl – Oregon offense vs Greg Robinson’s defense – who you picking?!! Duh!!

The you couldn’t get in to Phoenix University National University is your place Holiday Bowl – Sun Devils get evil in a whopping!!

The shhhh we own Amway but call ourselves a multi-level marketing company because Pyramid scheme is so harsh AdvoCare V100 bowl – BC wins over the richrods me thinks.

Remember when we were the Kia of car makers (we hope not) Hyundai Sun Bowl – Sun bowl plays in an Awesome little stadium and I look fwd to watching this game each year and hope to see the Bruins but a beat down on Beamer ball.

Have a shitty car, we got what you need everyday AutoZone Liberty Bowl – Miss St wins, but don’t watch this bowl - – it’s the Liberty Bowl and if I win the mega millions I’m going to buy the rights to this bowl and shut it down because it is sight of maybe worse bowl memory in Buckeye history and someone should have punched Coop in the face after that game!!

Jesus told us to spread obesity to our trailer park followers but not on Sunday because that’s his day to redeem them from their slovenly ways Chick-fil-A Bowl – Texas A&M wins, unless Johnny football gets suspended for something before game.

Seriously the Bucks last bowl game was a loss in this game TaxSlayer.com Gator Bowl – Uga gets healthy over the break and destroys the cornhuskers.

Jerry Jones is the Crypt Keeper Heart of Dallas Bowl – North Texas wins

It’s Alec not Alex Always Be Closing those leads are for closers Capital One Bowl – LSU kills Iowa – Kirk Ferentz I believe has 2 B1G coach of the year trophies and Earl Bruce was last Buckeye coach to win one in 1979 – why the B1G doesn’t compete on National level anymore you ask?

Give me cheese fries and spicy ranch and some alone time Outback Bowl – I’m hungry now S. Car wins, but I think this one will be competitive but still not go good in the end for Bad Ten.

Rose Bowl Game presented by Vizio – This will be unwatchable to Ohio State fans when Stanford wins 28 – 3, I’m still at a loss for how Hyde only touched the ball 18 times when he was averaging 6.5 yds a carry vs “the best defense in the country” huh?! Fuck!!

The red headed step child of the BCS we don’t get the good teams anymore apparently Tostitos Fiesta Bowl – Baylor wins

Someone ought get Oklahoma some good insurance for this game Allstate Sugar Bowl – Bama and Saban going to make a statement after a long month plus of stewing over this years Iron head decision bowl

If we don’t Discover a defense we’ll be crying Discover Orange Bowl – Clemson wins and of course I hope I’m wrong, but have you seen Sammy Watkins play and have you seen our defense? My only hope is we can run Hyde 30+ times as we should have against Sparty and win a 56-49 type game.

The what’s a pay phone AT&T Cotton Bowl – maybe one of best match ups of bowl season, I think I’ll go with Mizzu to win.

The they ought to stop these crappy bowl games sandwiched in with the BCS bowls no one cares BBVA Compass Bowl – Vandy wins

Get naked and shut up Danica GoDaddy Bowl – Ball st wins?

The SEC gets another one Vizio BCS National Championship Game – I won’t be watching someone text me if Famous Jamious try’s to assault any women (allegedly) on the sidelines during the game. Auburn will win as Fl St has yet to face a good defense this year and let’s face it, this will be 10 of 16 BCS nat champ for the SEC and yet none of their cheating scandals have ever led to any real sanctions by the NCAA yet Ohio St, USC, Miami, Pedi St and Oregon have all got something – lesson if you need a lawyer, higher one the SEC uses!!

I say Auburn wins 45-31

Why they've lost my vote

For fiscal conservatives that are socially liberal or well at least not a bigot hate monger bent on jamming religion and beliefs down everyones throat, this article shows why the republican party (well the extreme right of it) are to blame for election failure. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/11/michigan-rape-insurance_n_4428432.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Seriously this is happening in America! 

Ich bin ein Berliner anyone?

Common sence help is all!

Last week of CFB picks for 2013

Not really any chance of winning or even making the money this year, but it's ok because we won vs that team up north!!

I'm going to take the space here to shout out to what might be best (direct link) coaching tree in history of football and maybe we should call Earle the Godfather of football coaches? Here is a list of coaches who coached directly for Coach Bruce in his 9 years at THE Ohio State University...

Glen Mason - Off Cord 78-85 - very successful at Minnesota no small feat

Mark Dantonio - GrAsst 83-84 - very successful at MSU, but hopefully not this weekend

Pete Carrol - Sec Cord 1979 - 3 Nat titles at USC (1bcs/2 shared titles (ap)) possible Superbowl this year?

Nick Saban - DB coach 80-81 - 4  BCS Nat titles (1at LSU/3 at Bama) and probably more to come.

Dom Capers - DB coach 82-83 - Successful NFL Head Coach

Jim Tressel - QB coach 83-85 - 1 BCS Nat title (3 BCS title games) and 9-1 vs TUN!!

Urban Meyer - TE coach 86/WR coach 87 - 2 BCS Nat titles - hope more to come! 2-0 so far vs TUN!


So 10 Nat titles, that's pretty impressive, mad props to Coach Bruce!!

Ok for my picks I only care about 1 game and i'm not overly confident, but Go Bucks!!!!

10 - Fsu wins

9 - N. Ill wins

8 - Ok st wins

7 - Baylor wins

6 - ASU wins

5 - Mizzu wins

4 - St U of NJ wins

3 - SMU wins

2 - OSU wins

1 - Cincy wins

Thanks El Prez for another great year of CFB!!

Week 11 picks (yeah really I did it this week)

Well I’m actually going to take some time here to do my picks proper this week and break off some thoughts, please excuse my typos and misspeaking as I will not have time to go back and proof read for my usual barrage of errors. I am occasionally funny and once in a blue moon on accident I can be smart, but never at the same time or consistently – if I could I would, but I can’t so I shant! Phat Seuss!!

Buckeyes on off week number 2 and it comes at a good time to get some dings healed, but as a fan these long seasons with multiple bye weeks this sucks!! Offense is really clicking (B1G is so bad ought to score 40+ every week) and defense is playing better, hopefully because of getting better and not just because of playing freshman QB’s? Time will tell…

Wk 11 games (I think it’s week 11?)

10 pts – Bama wins, I think this is going to be upset pick (of big 3 unbeatens playing) that most people and the experts will pick. DID THEY FORGET THAT S.A.B.A.N. (Satan’s associate bastard asshole nincompoop) is still the coach? Yes they may have struggled early (and still won anyway), but now their young defense is getting deadly and they can run the ball and they can pass because QB usually has enough time to finish his homework (which he’s at Bama, so he probably needs a long time for that). Let me put it this way, we don’t want the 48 to win another championship and we don’t want Saban to win another National Title, but it’s more likely to happen than not, so (not that it will help) get praying!!

9 pts – Tun wins, if Brady tanks at home vs Hailmary Husker after that beating vs Sparty last week then he won’t need a jacket ever because his seat will keep him plenty warm. How sick am I? I thought after Sparty won, great now only thing they have to play for is to upset us to save their season, selfish much?!! Oh yeah, best I can tell Coach grumpy face for Sparty is 10-9 vs tun (or tds (down south) if you’re a sparty fan I guess?) as a coach and 5-3 as a head coach. Maybe if Tun is looking for a new coach in future they should hire Dantonio? (No bad idea don't do that forget I ever said that, el prez inhale exhale inhale exhale... it's not going to happen you are in a save place, happy thoughts happy thoughts!!) Oh and for the Husker fans, based on play calling and how they play wouldn't you think Bo was the one doing the booger candy and hitting the bong?

8 pts – Baylor wins, I got to think that Baylor will lose down the stretch against tougher part of their schedule, just not sure it will be at home to boomer sooner. Game should have lots of scoring, if Baylor drops 60+ again that will be impressive. I look for a 49-45 score.

7 pts – Oregon wins, My most likely of the three to fall, but just don’t think it will happen because I think it is destined to have 4 undefeated teams in final year of BCS and right before the 4 team playoff starts next year because who would want to see a playoff with Bama, FSU, OSU and Oregon or Baylor? Can you believe it took so long for the morons in charge to get to a playoff?

6 pts – Wisconsin wins, and hopefully gets the Bad1G a little respect? Maybe? Shit, they Bucks desperately need them to win and Sparty to win out and to beat Sparty (and all left before) solidly to have anyone think we belong. So look for the fighting mormons to beat bucky bad…

5 pts – ASU wins, really would pay almost anything to go back to a world where I didn't know the Utah, Utah St, Boise St, Fresno St actually played football. How do you get a 18yr old man to want to go Provo? Or Boise? Or SLC? ( I dare anyone to try and watch the movie SLC Punk sober)

4 pts – Tejas wins, bet those guys are so excited to travel to Morgan-town in early Nov, if heat in hotel isn't good, just go find a porch with a burning couch and warm up that way, Don’t mess with the women or you’ll find a burning sensation when you get home!! I really want to make a good gummy bj joke here, but nothings coming to me, any help???

3 pts – Florida wins, Vandy can’t really go to the swamp and win, right? I think Florida and Georgia have contracted with the Cleveland Clinic the way their players are getting injured! I can’t get carpal tunnel or staph from typing Cleveland Clinic? Shit I’ve done it twice now! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!!

2 pts – Pittsburgh wins, just want to type that and it not mean the Steelers!! How’d Sparty lose to ND? CFB is schizoid or as el prez says Grrreeeaatt!!

1 pt – Penn St wins, Goldie can’t keep this up right? I mean it’s a great story and if they keep winning or at least playing well and ever put Kill back on the sideline they are MORONS!!

Well there it be an actual old school picks sheet, man I’m tired, oh well time to get back to work.

Oh and note to all these skinny coaches having heart attacks and strokes and such, get you some Andy Reid hours and eating habits because he has gone KC BBQ lunch and golf cart only movement body and has the Chiefs undefeated and looking at a Super Bowl which would be great because it be first time I can think of where a city not involved in Super Bowl would riot after the game! Not that a riot would change the face of Philly that bad…

Final segment of Budnascar 2013

Well 5 races left and I have a very slim lead, so these better be good picks...

Dega - Harvick

Martinsville - 48

Tejas - Kenseth

Phoenix - Kyle Busch

Miami - Edwards

wk 6 cfb picks

Time Time Time is not on my side, no thoughts on last weeks picks - I think not, just no time to put thoughts down on virtual paper and this weeks won't be super long.

10 pts - Oregon wins, if you don't have this as your 10 you are crazy, stupid, or way behind and hoping for a miracle that ain't gonna happen.

9 pts - Baylor wins, see above... and just because WV pulled one out against ok st at home don't mean they can do the same at Baylor, look for a fun 77-42 score in this game.

8 pts - Stan wins, I have this so high because it's a home game for tree's and I want them to lose and then upset Oregon to help out the Bucks (if Bucks can take care of their own business)

7 pts - VaTech wins, did I forget how beamer ball can get lucky at home last week, won't make same mistake twice and will probably pay for it...

6 pts - ASU wins, wanna know how bad B1G is, tun win over ND is maybe our biggest win of season so far (can't count Rutgers yet) and ND ain't good (see barely beating Purdue).

5 pts - UCLA wins, i'm full in on the Bruins trying to give Oregon/Stan a run and hoping they don't screw me.

4 pts - Utah st wins, why oh why am I having to deal with so many teams from utah/idaho being in games that can be picks, guys know when they are being recruited they are going to boredville right?

3 pts - Bucks win, really not comfortable on the road and missing our starting safety, but hopeful we can/will out score them, look for a very stressful and way to close for comfort win. But a win is a win...

2 pts - Vandy wins, SEC power match up because they are just better than us right? hmmmmm

1 pt - Iowa wins, well if you want awful football here is the game for you. Good defense will look great in this game because of godawful offense. If your watching this game, seek help.

I really just not watch the news anymore

So the pope says being gay/abortion still wrong but the church needs to chill on the subject (you know don't talk about it so much and it will go away, sounds like they've tried that method before) and Iran's new President says "i'm no historian" when asked about the Holocaust. Which sadly is much better than the previous regime's "those zionist pigs control hollywood and propoganda" take (no Mel Gibson was not the president of Iran, just a coincidence) Wow what progress we are making!! At least crazy people can't just go get a gun with little to no background check, right? We did do something there right?  Although clearly background checks need not be done by the government (especially the Navy - too soon el lrez and mr v.p.?!!) thankfully we have beer and liqour and other vices...

Week 4 picks

Well i'm too busy playing around with iOS7 and trying to update Callie's phone to iOS7 to be clever tonight, so i'm taking a Famu week and just going lets get this over quick...

10 pts - Clemson wins

9 pts - Stanford wins

8 pts - Arkansas wins #karma?

7 pts - Florida wins

6 pts - USC wins

5 pts - BYU wins

4 pts - Maryland wins

3 pts - ND wins

2 pts - Fresni St wins

1 pt - Indiana wins

wk 3 college football picks

This will be short not so colorful week of picks for me because I just don't know and have changed my mind more times than ever before which makes me think i'm screwed!! We shall see...

10 pts - Boise St wins, really I don't know why this is a pick and there is no way on earth Boise St loses at home to an academy or they will what do I know?

9 pts - S. Car wins, probably to high for a SEC match up, but just think ole ball coach ain't losing at home to Vandy.

8 pts - Utah wins, wouldn't be the first time the Beaver's have screwed me over!!

7 pts - OSU wins, god i'm sick about a freshman QB and the unknown of traveling on the road with a young defense and without (by far) our best RB, but hopefully smooth Jazz and Brokeston can score baby score!!

6 pts - ASU wins, yes bucky badger has looked good early but against nobodies and the Sun Devils have never lost to a bigten school at home.

5 pts - Fr st wins, time for the Colorado of the past 5 yrs or so to show back up right?

4 pts - TCU wins, I don't know, I wanted to pick tech but no balls so i'll go with the 'experts'

3 pts - Bama wins, everyone thinks this is a lock for Saban to get his revenge, but the offense of Bama has not looked very good this year and if they couldn't stop Johnny pay me at home last year what makes people think they will at A&M? Heard Charles Barkley say he hates Johnny football so much he might pull for Bama and say roll tide - Charles that's tearble just tearble!!

2 pts - Ole Miss wins, well I had Texas and after beating they laid on ole miss at ole miss last year probably should still have the horns, but damn if they didn't suck at BYU and now their QB is out and they fired they defensive cord to replace him with Greg Robinson?!! Yeah ask Slackman or any TUN fan about Greg Robinson!! Wow!!

1 pt - UCLA wins, and makes el prez a very very happy man, this game should probably be 70-65. The Blackshirt's are dead!! Now they are the sidearm and hope you outscore them shorts.

Really all I care about is the Bucks figure a way to win out west and get home and get healed for a relatively tough start to the BigTen schedule. We shall see...

wk 2 college football picks

Man did anyone see that first quarter!! Um did anyone see rest of the game? Um uh um - cramping and players sitting out suspension, yeah yeah that's the ticket see... Well we better be ready this week!! Wait um they lost to a 1aa school, um uh yeah...

and we gamble on these teams - CRAZY!!!

10 pts - Oregon will crush Virginia even on the road, hope i'm wrong but I won't be

9 pts - TUN will beat the domers at home by 2 td's and if not, well I won't cry!!

8 pts - Trojans will take down wazzu at home pretty solid, damn they have one hell of a great WR

7 pts - Zona will go on road and beat the runnin rebels, did I really pick richrod as my 7 pt win as a road team? must be cold meds f-ing with my head!!

6 pts - Cincy will win at Illini because well the Illini might have looked ok last week and are at home, but it's a early big game the bigten could really use to look good, so they won't...

5 pts - Texas will bring a message to the mormons that they have returned and even if it falls on def ears they should win comfortably.

4 pts - BC wins at home over Wake on a friday night game where I pray I have something better to do friday night than to watch this game.

3 pts - Uga rebounds to take care of business at home over the ole ball coach and his two qb system. Must admit that Gurly vs Clowney is most intriguing and hilariously named match up of the season for sure!!

2 pts - The fighting Falcons of BGSU will roll on into kent read/write/protest safely (too soon?) st and win a close one.

1 pt - The Canes gonna get back on the national stage with a win over the gators this saturday and Will Muschamp is going to be early leader for coach on the hot seat - BIGTIME.

Well there we have it, hope I have a better week than the first week, have some catching up to do...

College Football is Back Baby!!!

Ok, long time no blog, honestly my wife took my phone and put me on Instagram and shockingly I really like it - it is much better for posting pictures of weird shit or for short form/quick blirps about stupid little things I used to put on here. Also I haven't had as much time for long form ramblings and I ramble incoherently with Xavier now and get me fix that way.

However for the best time of the year I need space for my useless thoughts, so long live the Blog!!

Anyone wanting to see my pics of the weird or Xavier you can follow me @ptcallender

So the season is about to start, we are going to have full Urban offense (last years 60% avg about 37pts a game!!) and another "soft" bigten schedule!! It could be an awesome year!!  It's weird, under Coop I was always excited about the talent and possibility of explosiveness on offense but nervous as all hell at our inevitable choking somewhere along the line. Under Tress I was always excited about the talent and being sure we'd be good when it count the most, but nervous about if offensive conservatism might cost us a big game or views in the eyes of the voters. Now after 1 year of Urban i'm only nervous because there's not much to be nervous to the experts or anyone you listen too. That's a good sign that we will really be as powerful and exciting as ever, but nervous because the higher the expectations the harder the falls. Then again you don't climb the highest mountains on an easy path!! Lets hope we reach the summit this year! Go Bucks!!

Week 1 games!!

10 pts - Bama over beamer boy, ole fake teeth umpa-lumpa boy himself has 3 of last 4 crystal balls and the SEC gives him a schedule w/o playing Fla/Uga/or SC in the regular season, um your welcome!!

9 pts - Crazy Less's tigers over hornyfrogs, Ok just checking, but we have 2 starters missing 4 games for doing nothing illegal and LSU players are allowed to vote a guy to play from day 1 after he sucker punches a guy on camera and is charged all while being on probation from sexual misconduct because he slept with a 14yr old when he was 18? And people wonder why the SEC keeps winning National Championships!! Anyone know where I can get a Touchdown Johnny autograph?

8 pts - Penn St over Cuse, I probably am crazy specially having this so high, but I think Bill O'Brien might have a deal with the devil. How he got number one rated pro style QB prospect to come to Happy Valley knowing he won't get to play in a bowl game till his Senior year is beyond me!!

7 pts - Fresno St over St U of NJ, it pains me to pick against Rutgers, but traveling cross country for first game of the year.

6 pts - Iowa over N. Ill, am I drunk, god i'm gonna regret these picks come Sunday. However, this is the kind of season where Iowa will have no expectations and come from nowhere to win 10 games.

5 pts - Boise St over husckies, I never pick against Boise St in early big game and they usually come through, hell i'm still bitter they got hosed at Sparty last year.

4 pts - Vandy over ole Miss, hey Vandy's home and ranked, what can go wrong? Uhh, maybe I am drunk.

3 pts - hooves over mormons, nobody's nice to the mormons when they come a knocking and I don't expect any different treatment from the school of founding fathers.

2 pts - Utah St over Utah, I guess? Urban coached at one of these schools right? I hate having Utah schools to pick on, I know nothing about the state of Utah other than there state troopers are really nice!! Yes I was pulled over once in Utah and he just said I wanted to let you know to slow down it's raining up ahead (I was going 84 in a 75)!!

1 pt - Uga over Clemson, tough pick early in season, think going SEC over ACC more than anything, hard for me not to pick Clemson so they'll lose because I hate them, but i'm trying to use my brain. I don't think my other picks support that i'm using my brain?

There it is, It was a bit rushed, got my draft for NFL (not even getting started on the Browns - A BRUISED FUCKING LUNG???)

Go Bucks, please be up by 5 or more touchdowns at half so I can believe the hype of averages 40+pts a game this year!!!

if it's good enough for you it's good enough for me...

No secret to me or anyone that knows me even a little to say that my mind works differently. I might even say i'm proud of that - sometimes? 

In those times of reflection I too often find my self thinking of death or the things i'll miss when i'm dead like family, friends, music, movies... I find I think about it most often when milestones or big events happen in life - especially when many big events happen in a short amount of time. Having a child seems to be one milestone after another and thankfully keeps me so very busy that I have less time for strolling about in the depths of my thoughts. However today as my son seems on the brink of taking his first steps, my God-Sister is taking steps to accept her degree for graduating high school and going on to college and her brother just got his first job after college and his first apartment my mind has been wandering. They are the first kids I ever watched and my first memories of being "the adult" or at least the responsible person and now I have my own son to make giggle and do fun things with like: watching banana's in pajama's, playing games, and watching the same 30 second clip of a Chris Farley movie 30 times in a row. 

I can't really figure why stuff like that makes me think of when i'm gone and what i'll miss, but I do laugh at the things it will make me miss. Obviously i'll miss my family and friends, but the strange thing I thought of today out of the blue that I will miss is "The Goonies"!! Seriously, I can't not remember (i'm proud of that double negative and sentence structure!!) that movie not being in my life. I must have watched it hundred's of times, I have it on my phone so I can watch it or parts of it whenever I get the urge. I'll fast forward to Chunk talking about hurling over the balcony of the movie theater when i'm sad just for a quick laugh!! Jerk alert - it's Chunk!! The mind is so strange and mine is stranger than most... Oh well it's good enough for me... I'm gonna go get some rocky road...

This is the end my friend the only end my friend...

Today Keyboardist and co-founder of The Doors, Ray Manzarek, died at 74 in Germany. He met a poet named Jim Morrison and together they made in a very short time some of the best music in the history of rock. I personally love the mix of music from haunting end times songs to sexy 60's free love masterpieces. Ironically what it really made me think of today when I first heard the news was PETE!!

Pete was one of the most interesting people i've ever worked with and in fairness one of the oddest. He would take his sandals (year round sandals, snow and all) off at work to not feel "restrained" while in "his process" - keep in mind he did basic data entry and not well (he was fired after 9mo). He was vocally liberal in the post 911 how dare you question W you commie bastard world that was 2002-2003 and in an office that is extremely religious conservative workforce. He was a simple man with no extravagant tastes (well that I know of, I think he might have enjoyed fine ganja, but that could be stereotyping) yet his wife was a filthy rich money is all UA/OSU socialite/business woman. And Pete would be very gushing over his love of his wife and kids, yet both times I met his wife she was a non-stop ball buster who seemed to enjoy telling Pete every wrong thing he was doing. Granted he usually was doing something wrong or annoying, but still... Also, the Salmon!! The Salmon!! I honestly think he got fired more over the Salmon then over his bad work, but everyday - EVERYDAY - he would microwave Salmon and stink up a pretty small office building, every inch of it!! All for his beloved Salmon on Rye bread with Mustard! Anyone hungry now?

But Pete and I had a bond over music, I would say stuff I didn't belief politically just to get him riled up and then I'd laugh and say what you listening to today and i'd laugh again. He was always listening to The Doors - Always! He'd say, I used to listen to it all - "I did the follow the Dead thing for a summer" and "I party'd with Joe Walsh once and he was a lite weight". Any man with that opinion must have lived a heck of an interesting life...

I only wish he was a better employee that enjoyed a less offensive lunch and maybe i'd have more interesting stories... RIP Mr. Manazrek, you made great music that will last forever and today you made me think of a guy that was truly interesting.

If my son asks me what kind of people to be around, i'll say good people of course, but i'll also say search for those that can tell a story and are interesting. Fascinating people with great stories are what really make the world go round and i've never gained more than when i've taken the time to sit and listen to someone's story and got to know them. The biography of a person's life from their own mouth is something great to hear.

Make the code 12345...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2013/05/04/nra-speaker-gun-safes-kids-bedrooms-home-defense_n_3216157.html

... so if your panicked during the break in you won't forget the code - duh!!

National
Retard
Assholiation

If you ask me the biggest mistake in my life...so far...

It would say - Voted for Bush a Second time - I feel no shame for 2000, how was anyone to know where it would go? But as this week is the 10 yr anniversary of the Shock and Awe war it's hard to believe that it took me so long to realize that my social beliefs are more important to me than my fiscal beliefs. Or maybe more accurately that there are few to no politicians truly fighting for fiscal conservatism (most republicans just pay lip service to it) and the few that seem truly fiscally willing to take the flag of financially responsible government leadership are fucking religious psychopaths on the level of Sharia law (Islamic laws where you know you can have your wife stoned to death if she I don't know sneezes funny?) only under the name of Jesus. You know the parts of the bible where it says love thy neighbor unless they do X,Y,Z and then in that case put them in a death camp and keep them from infecting the "Sanctity of Marriage"  and yes sanctity does mean a 54% divorce rate. Oh and never under any circumstance (even violent gang rape) terminate a pregnancy, because fiscal responsibility is more unwanted children on the government dole (dole is British for welfare). Gun laws? Ha, we don't need those, everyone knows that all the gun loving adults of America are stable and mature enough to teach their children to be responsible and safe with guns and then to make sure and lock away those guns so the child doesn't have access to them, duh! That's why Columbine was our last school shooting tragedy? Climate change debate is probably some where in the middle of what both sides try and make you believe (i'm far from an expert), but why is it such a bad thing to try and make companies that make tens of billions of dollars of PROFIT every QUARTER (3 months) do a little more to make those profits safely? Anyway, I guess all i'm saying is when people (alot of people) I know keep asking me if I've watched the 2016 movie about that "African Muslim communist" in the white house, I wish they would remember the 8 year reign of destruction the was the Bush administration and that we survived it, we survived Carter for Christ sake - it's our best trait as Americans - we survive, hopefully!! I hope I can teach my son to listen to what people say, think about it and then form his own opinion, because what is hurting this world more than anything else is sheep - lots of bahhhhd bahhhhd sheep. Ok, I gotta get back to helping the rich fight off starvation and poverty that is higher taxes, we have a client considering only getting a used Lexus for his 16 year old - Fucking Obama!!

If you want to read a couple of letters from someone with real knowledge of the affects of the Iraq war...

http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/the_crucifixion_of_tomas_young_20130310/

http://www.truthdig.com/dig/item/the_last_letter_20130318/?ln

My boys working on his speed Urban!!

http://youtu.be/sVPXdE4RZtw

A little customer service lesson

Sunday night driving home in my wife's car it began to overheat about 10 mins from home, I cranked the heat to keep it from redlining and the next night took it to get looked at and see what was wrong. It was also due for a oil change and I knew the brakes needed replaced so I expected to get a call saying you know you blah blah blah... But the call I got is a lesson in how not to start a conversation.

"Hi is this David?"

"Yes"

"Your wife's car needs a new engine"

"Excuse me?!"

"Yeah it needs a new lower engine block, it's cracked and you need a new engine"

"Um (silence as a clutch my chest)... Um um"

"It's covered under recall warranty, it's a known issue with Gen 8 civics and won't cost you anything, now you do need brakes..."

I won't go on with rest of conversation about brakes et al, but...


MAYBE FUCKING LEAD WITH IT'S COVERED UNDER RECALL WARRANTY DICKHEAD!! FUCKING A MAN!! YOU ABOUT ORPHANED MY KID AND WIDOWED MY WIFE!! 

ok, that's all, oh if you know anyone with a 2006-2009 civic, tell them if it overheats to go to dealership because it could be very serious, but covered!

Yes!! Yes!! Yea!!

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/mike-mccready-new-pearl-jam-album-this-year-for-sure-20130222

if it is to good to be true it probably ain't

My absolute least favorite religious saying (and that's tops on a long long list) is "God never gives you more than you can handle" (and to add a little - say it in a quiet condescending voice). What a fucking crock of shit!! First and most simply if that was true nobody would commit suicide and sadly we all know that happens way to often. Second, what kind of sick fuck is just wanting to see what level of torture and pain someone can endure before getting in to their Club Med? We here on earth call that a sadist. Third, what is "handle"? Smoking, drinking, over-eating, treating the ones we are supposed to love like shit, hating others based on fear of the differences we have from them etc etc etc

I handle a lot the best I can and for some reason (that I don't understand) pretty calmly. Some have said it's one of my better traits, of course others have seen me watch a buckeye game and how I vent pent up anger and say I need help. Either way, I know it's not because of puff the magic dragon, oz the great, casper the ghost or any other classic works of literary fiction. It's simply because it's the right thing to do and slightly because if I lost it and shot some place up over my little problems my mother would probably shiv me in the taint till I bled out!

So here's to those of you like me that keep your shit together, don't feel the need to get a gun (because it's my god given right) or harm anyone in anyway. And to those struggling to keep it together, find a fucking hobby!!

Or and this is one of my favorites, go in your car (or some quiet private place) and at the top of your longs yell J.H.F.C.!!! Then take a deep breath and get back to business.

BudNascar 2013 - Seg 1

Back baby!! Burning tires and fumes are back!!

I really do love doing this fantasy league, even the time doing the results each week and the getting setup for a new season, it's all worth it come this Sunday in Daytona!!

My hopes for 2013 -

Simple, more more more Success for the 88 team with multiple wins and a real chance in the chase without injury.

So these probably will be shorter comments this year as I find myself pretty busy these days.

Here goes the first shot...

Daytona, duh I will go with the 88 till Damn it he finally wins it again!!

Phoenix, Happy happy 29 has got to be back this year after a very ehh season last year.

Vegas, the 48, it sucks but if you have a segment without the 48 in it, well your making bad picks.

Bristol, the 18, as much as I enjoyed his struggles - I can't imagine they continue another year.

Atlanta, 99, talk about a team that needs a come back year, he should following the year after blues that come from finishing second (well tied for first) in 2011.

Martinsville, 11, could this be special needs tom cruise year to get the cup? Could be.

So there it is, enjoy Sunday it is the Superbowl that is never lame!!

how do you call off sick when your boss is God?

Dear God,

Sorry, you're wrong - I'm out!

Yours Truly,
The Pope


I don't know where he would mail the letter, but I took the time to write it for Pope B. Now I'll keep this quick (you know in case I burst into blasphemous flames) but it is insanely historic for the Pope to quit!! Like last time it happened was 600 years ago and that don't really count because there were two popes! Yes it's called the great schism (wiki it) and it is my favorite history story ever, here is the very very very short version - politics, politics, politics, one pope, two pope claimers, three pope claimers (all in different city/countries) two pope claimers, one pope claimer. Fantastic!!

How the pope is chosen...

God (yes the boss of bosses) speaks to the cardinals (well only the ones allowed to vote, apparently once a cardinal turns 80 he is too old for God to speak to him and thus no longer votes and no I'm not making this up - someone already made it up thousands of years ago) and the cardinals vote until they have a consensus (or majority, I can't remember) and then we have a pope. Now after every vote the papers are burned and if the chimney (well the pope chimney, it's a large building they must have many) burns black smoke it means no new pope yet, but if that baby shows white smoke then a pope has been elected! And every time that chimney starts to billow people (apparently with a lot of paid time off) all run to see it and celebrate (or groan in unison, which must sound awesome?!). Fantastical isn't it? Yes it is!! It's ceremony for the sake of ceremony at it's finest, the British royals must be so jealous!!

Here's to hoping the new pope is more liberal on some issues (you know like pro condoms for Africa and the 40% aids rate), yet more conservative on social media. (twitter must be a creation of the devil) If there is one thing worse than a tweet, it's a tweet about Jesus/Mohammad/Moses/Cruise et al...

Lastly, how's God gonna feel about getting this one wrong? I mean I'm far from a scholar, but he doesn't seem to handle dissident well (see Bible:Jewish Saga)(yes I've modernized the title for generation twilight, you old timers just call it the old testament). All I'm saying is somebody about to get some wrath right?!!

Ok that's all, yo slackman and el prez - whens that bus coming? We southward bound at some point!! Well hopefully not for a while more - hopefully.

Gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta - BE FRESH

So still waiting for final season of best show in history of TV (Breaking Bad) to return, but in the mean time here are some shows to watch...

Duh - Big Bang Theory - best comedy on TV just keeps going.

This next one is more for the guys and the reason for my title of this post - Workaholics. Adam, Blake and Ders are 3 degenerates that crack my shit up!! Probably how I could have turned out if I had bad parents. It is in season 3 and has moved to Wed nights, but if you want vulgar crazy belly laugh tv, this is the show for you.

And finally, a show my wife heard about from her mother that combines two of my favorite things - tv southern crazy's and boobs!! Double Divas is about two ladies with heave Georgian accents ya'll and a lingerie shop. Watch the craziness, enjoy the ya'lls and the Jessus's and well boobs (breasts, tits, funbags, ta ta's, bazumbas, melons, or whatever your favorite slang is). It's just good tv ya'll

Well that's all, back to work.

Today I wore red for women, tomorrow black for...

Today was wear red for women heart health awareness and I did because I know women and I like wearing red. But tomorrow i'm starting a new awareness campaign, won't you please join me by wearing black. Black for raider-fan awareness. Raider-fan has got to lead the world in killing something or atleast scaring people to death. More people need to be aware that at any moment raider-fan could be lurking around the corner. So wear black tomorrow and save someone!!

a little basic economy 101 supply and demand

http://buckeyextra.dispatch.com/content/stories/2013/01/24/big-hikes-on-some-tickets-likely.html


This would have happened last year with Urban coming in if not for the bowl ban. And if people want to beat the SEC and be the best there is going to be a price. Also, with title 9, this is the only way the university can offer 36 scholarship sports, basically means mens basketball is break-even/self funding, then Football has to be profitable enough to pay for everything else. The one comment from another moron online poster (I am really beginning to enjoy reading these peoples posts) said this is very "Obama-like". Um this is very opposite of big government/stick it to the rich. This is very simply supply and demand, because if you don't believe when you give up your season tickets, there won't be 5,000 people waiting in line to get them then you are delusional. And more supply and demand, if the product (god forbid) goes belly up and stinks then you will see prices go down - ask Auburn or Oregon in 3 years or Penn St for about the next decade. It is very sad to me that be the time my son is old enough to go to his first game i'll probably only be able to take him to see a game vs the likes of Buffalo or Cornpolk a&m, but it will be in my favorite place in the world with my boy (and hopefully my Dad - he bitches about prices already) with the band and the team I love, there is no price point that will change that - ever! When they got you by the balls, well they got you by the balls!! No guy goes to see a Nicholas Sparks movie because he wants to!! The fact that I know the name Nicholas Sparks tells you two things - 1, i'm married and 2,i'm in love with my wife!! (actually for my wife it's more movies like Rent/West Side Story, but same bird, different feathers). I guess it could mean I was gay, but i'm not, anyway how'd I get here? Seriously what was I talking about, it's like I blacked out for a second. Um, yeah ticket prices are going up, shocker, deal or become a Mac football fan!

It plays tag!!!

I want I want I want

Hahahahahaha

What scares me most about guns ain't guns, but the people who so desperatly "need" them 'fo potextian ya'll'

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2013/01/19/gun-show-shootings_n_2513057.html?prefTab=Today

Oj says

Oj wants Mante to know

"If you cant see her shit, she might not be legit!"

You can't make this up...

http://m.aol.com/dailyfinance/default/articleStory.do?category=main&url=http://www.dailyfinance.com/2013/01/08/aig-may-sue-government-for-bailout/&returl=/portal


Remember these are the type of people most likely to say rich need lower taxes and business needs deregulation to be successful.

my nfl playoff picks

The veep has been sending his NHL playoff picks out for years for fun and i've tried (very unsuccessfully) to predict NHL playoff's despite knowing nothing about the sport. Well I know football well and think I can do just as bad anyway, so here goes nothing... (feel free if you'd like to post your picks in the reply section to do so and we will see who is the brightest off us all)

- remember seeding for rounds is based on highest vs lowest, so if i'm wrong on first rnd games it could change who plays who, but as long as your pick wins it doesn't matter who they played you still get point for the win.

AFC -

4 Ravens beat 5 Colts
6 Bungals beat 3 Texans

         1 Broncos beat 6 Bungals
         4 Ravens beat 2 Pats

                      1 Broncos beat 4 Ravens


NFC -

5 Seahawks beat 4 Redskins
3 Packers beat 6 Vikings

           5 Seahawks beat 1 Falcons
           2 49ers beat 3 Packers

                       2 49ers beat 5 Seahawks


Superbowl -  Broncos beat 49ers

There you have it, so with my track record probably will see a Texas vs Falcons Superbowl, but what do I know?

Please tax me

If anyone knows of a job making 450k dollars a year (taxable income so like 600k before right offs and such) please hire me and I will happily pay a 75% effective (thats like fed, state, local et al) tax rate. It would be about three times more than I make now with my low poor person rate the govt. so generously is allowing me to keep. Thank You uncle Sam, your so nice!

And for all the poor downtrodden people affected by the extra taxes, i'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe I, my parents and most people I know can go without raises or pay more for benefits, which has been going on since the bush era (so both parties can suck my $&@#), we just want to help the top avoid being treaded on.

"One nation, in debt, with religious and secular nut bags for all!!"