Well another year has past, another season Dave has fun (and is a dick that will refer to himself in the third person) and finishes middle of the pack. Sadly time and responsibility (yuk!!) have kept me from giving my in depth prognostications for a few weeks now, but lets see if we can go out on a bang! (Phrasing! Boom! Nailed it!)
Ok, first my never gonna happen, doesn't match my picks, totally wild playoff, watch Ann Arbor burn playoff prediction...
Bama gets upset by Mizzu but in an ugly neither of these teams deserve to be in a playoff game. Then RichRod beats (again) team Nike, then FSU beats GaTech in an ugly come from behind look like crap game (like a lot of their games this season) and finally 'they don't bring us here to play school' finds his inner bowl game Pryor and runs/throws and helps Bucks dominate the badgers! What would you see the committee do? No 1 TCU vs No 4 FSU in the Sugar Bowl and No 2 Arizona vs No 3 OSU in the Rose Bowl! Buckeyes vs RichRod for a spot in the National title game being played in the Rose Bowl as nerves and Budweiser Ray Rice the fuck out of El Prez's liver!! Now that would be some crazy shit!!
But that ain't gonna happen!!
So what will?...
10 pts - TCU takes Iowa St and tries to be the first modern era team to score 100 pts in an effort to say 'please committee don't remember that we are in a crap conference with no championship game'
9 pts - Bama beats the 2nd place team in the SEC west, cause remember Indiana won the SEC west with one very very embarrassing loss for 'SEC Speed'. Seriously Saban will flat kill Kiffin if they don't score 50+ in this game. Let me help Mizzu a bit - FUCKING COVER ARMANI COOPER
8 pts - Baylor beats K St but only because they are at home and no where never impressive enough to get into the playoffs.
7 pts - Marshall didn't go undefeated, but they'll be LaTech, I think, who knows? All I know is Marshall had a movie about their plane crash and Jim Croce died in a plane crash in Louisana. Frankly I love Jim Croce, they should have made a movie about him and his awesome mustache! And I got me a Roller Derby Mama!!
6 pts - Okla be ok st and nobody cares, I mean nobody!!
5 pts - ECU beats UCF because ECU is awesome, I mean they beat VaTech and VaTech is an underrated football team that had a rocky middle of their season, but that people really should consider very talented and NOT AT ALL A BAD LOSS!! Hem Hem, holy shit, sorry I was possessed by Lou Holtz for a minute, thankfully I don't type with a lisp!! Go Bucks!!
4 pts - BGSU beats N. Ill because well I was a Falcon for a little bit and well, every time I went to Detroit or Windsor while there everything I can remember was fucking epic!!
3 pts - RichRod says nigga please to Oregon and reminds them who invented winning with screen passes and almost no defense at all!! (And I can say that word cause I grew up in the 90's/tan easily/and my wife is from a small town so racist that she was called the real version of that word as a kid for having a good tan - and that last part is true as anything I've ever said on this blog)
2 pts - GaTech finally F's those pricks in there P's and bail's out FSU's joke of a 'honor' policy by beating FSU on the field days before a decision is announced and thus allowing the school to 'up hold it's proud traditions and high standards blah blah blah' hey FSU - I heard Temple just released Cosby from his official duties (duties in the FSU blast? Phrasing! Boom! Nailed it! that's no 2...No 2!!) so why'd don't you see if he wants to come on board? "It puts the ruffy pill in her drink and ... mmm popping pudding ya'll"
1 pt - Bucks beat Wisky, cause dammit I just can't pick them, really 5 yrs of BigTen championship game and we might have it dominated solely by Badgers and Spartans? Fuck that shit, our offensive line is going man up and we are going to run baby run! They might call us Lola by end of the game (anyone get that movie reference?) Or we will get Biakabatuka'd by Gordon and he'll get the Heisman, which will suck but will at least keep Archie as the only 2 time winner. No matter what though (and I asked el prez to remind me of this sat night) we won the only game that matters to me and because of my teenage years will always matter no matter how many swings and misses that school up north takes on the coaching staff.
Ok, that's best I got till bowl names season in a few weeks, hope everyone had a nice 'give us your land and take this booze' day and an even better 'so he's got to pay for that kids entire childhood expenses and his wife is still a virgin?' day!
Veep, El Prez - HELP I HEAR A BUS AND SEE RED LIGHTS!!
