A little customer service lesson

Sunday night driving home in my wife's car it began to overheat about 10 mins from home, I cranked the heat to keep it from redlining and the next night took it to get looked at and see what was wrong. It was also due for a oil change and I knew the brakes needed replaced so I expected to get a call saying you know you blah blah blah... But the call I got is a lesson in how not to start a conversation.

"Hi is this David?"

"Yes"

"Your wife's car needs a new engine"

"Excuse me?!"

"Yeah it needs a new lower engine block, it's cracked and you need a new engine"

"Um (silence as a clutch my chest)... Um um"

"It's covered under recall warranty, it's a known issue with Gen 8 civics and won't cost you anything, now you do need brakes..."

I won't go on with rest of conversation about brakes et al, but...


MAYBE FUCKING LEAD WITH IT'S COVERED UNDER RECALL WARRANTY DICKHEAD!! FUCKING A MAN!! YOU ABOUT ORPHANED MY KID AND WIDOWED MY WIFE!! 

ok, that's all, oh if you know anyone with a 2006-2009 civic, tell them if it overheats to go to dealership because it could be very serious, but covered!

Yes!! Yes!! Yea!!

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/mike-mccready-new-pearl-jam-album-this-year-for-sure-20130222

if it is to good to be true it probably ain't

My absolute least favorite religious saying (and that's tops on a long long list) is "God never gives you more than you can handle" (and to add a little - say it in a quiet condescending voice). What a fucking crock of shit!! First and most simply if that was true nobody would commit suicide and sadly we all know that happens way to often. Second, what kind of sick fuck is just wanting to see what level of torture and pain someone can endure before getting in to their Club Med? We here on earth call that a sadist. Third, what is "handle"? Smoking, drinking, over-eating, treating the ones we are supposed to love like shit, hating others based on fear of the differences we have from them etc etc etc

I handle a lot the best I can and for some reason (that I don't understand) pretty calmly. Some have said it's one of my better traits, of course others have seen me watch a buckeye game and how I vent pent up anger and say I need help. Either way, I know it's not because of puff the magic dragon, oz the great, casper the ghost or any other classic works of literary fiction. It's simply because it's the right thing to do and slightly because if I lost it and shot some place up over my little problems my mother would probably shiv me in the taint till I bled out!

So here's to those of you like me that keep your shit together, don't feel the need to get a gun (because it's my god given right) or harm anyone in anyway. And to those struggling to keep it together, find a fucking hobby!!

Or and this is one of my favorites, go in your car (or some quiet private place) and at the top of your longs yell J.H.F.C.!!! Then take a deep breath and get back to business.

BudNascar 2013 - Seg 1

Back baby!! Burning tires and fumes are back!!

I really do love doing this fantasy league, even the time doing the results each week and the getting setup for a new season, it's all worth it come this Sunday in Daytona!!

My hopes for 2013 -

Simple, more more more Success for the 88 team with multiple wins and a real chance in the chase without injury.

So these probably will be shorter comments this year as I find myself pretty busy these days.

Here goes the first shot...

Daytona, duh I will go with the 88 till Damn it he finally wins it again!!

Phoenix, Happy happy 29 has got to be back this year after a very ehh season last year.

Vegas, the 48, it sucks but if you have a segment without the 48 in it, well your making bad picks.

Bristol, the 18, as much as I enjoyed his struggles - I can't imagine they continue another year.

Atlanta, 99, talk about a team that needs a come back year, he should following the year after blues that come from finishing second (well tied for first) in 2011.

Martinsville, 11, could this be special needs tom cruise year to get the cup? Could be.

So there it is, enjoy Sunday it is the Superbowl that is never lame!!

how do you call off sick when your boss is God?

Dear God,

Sorry, you're wrong - I'm out!

Yours Truly,
The Pope


I don't know where he would mail the letter, but I took the time to write it for Pope B. Now I'll keep this quick (you know in case I burst into blasphemous flames) but it is insanely historic for the Pope to quit!! Like last time it happened was 600 years ago and that don't really count because there were two popes! Yes it's called the great schism (wiki it) and it is my favorite history story ever, here is the very very very short version - politics, politics, politics, one pope, two pope claimers, three pope claimers (all in different city/countries) two pope claimers, one pope claimer. Fantastic!!

How the pope is chosen...

God (yes the boss of bosses) speaks to the cardinals (well only the ones allowed to vote, apparently once a cardinal turns 80 he is too old for God to speak to him and thus no longer votes and no I'm not making this up - someone already made it up thousands of years ago) and the cardinals vote until they have a consensus (or majority, I can't remember) and then we have a pope. Now after every vote the papers are burned and if the chimney (well the pope chimney, it's a large building they must have many) burns black smoke it means no new pope yet, but if that baby shows white smoke then a pope has been elected! And every time that chimney starts to billow people (apparently with a lot of paid time off) all run to see it and celebrate (or groan in unison, which must sound awesome?!). Fantastical isn't it? Yes it is!! It's ceremony for the sake of ceremony at it's finest, the British royals must be so jealous!!

Here's to hoping the new pope is more liberal on some issues (you know like pro condoms for Africa and the 40% aids rate), yet more conservative on social media. (twitter must be a creation of the devil) If there is one thing worse than a tweet, it's a tweet about Jesus/Mohammad/Moses/Cruise et al...

Lastly, how's God gonna feel about getting this one wrong? I mean I'm far from a scholar, but he doesn't seem to handle dissident well (see Bible:Jewish Saga)(yes I've modernized the title for generation twilight, you old timers just call it the old testament). All I'm saying is somebody about to get some wrath right?!!

Ok that's all, yo slackman and el prez - whens that bus coming? We southward bound at some point!! Well hopefully not for a while more - hopefully.

Gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta - BE FRESH

So still waiting for final season of best show in history of TV (Breaking Bad) to return, but in the mean time here are some shows to watch...

Duh - Big Bang Theory - best comedy on TV just keeps going.

This next one is more for the guys and the reason for my title of this post - Workaholics. Adam, Blake and Ders are 3 degenerates that crack my shit up!! Probably how I could have turned out if I had bad parents. It is in season 3 and has moved to Wed nights, but if you want vulgar crazy belly laugh tv, this is the show for you.

And finally, a show my wife heard about from her mother that combines two of my favorite things - tv southern crazy's and boobs!! Double Divas is about two ladies with heave Georgian accents ya'll and a lingerie shop. Watch the craziness, enjoy the ya'lls and the Jessus's and well boobs (breasts, tits, funbags, ta ta's, bazumbas, melons, or whatever your favorite slang is). It's just good tv ya'll

Well that's all, back to work.

Today I wore red for women, tomorrow black for...

Today was wear red for women heart health awareness and I did because I know women and I like wearing red. But tomorrow i'm starting a new awareness campaign, won't you please join me by wearing black. Black for raider-fan awareness. Raider-fan has got to lead the world in killing something or atleast scaring people to death. More people need to be aware that at any moment raider-fan could be lurking around the corner. So wear black tomorrow and save someone!!