So many bye weeks for ohio state already that i've lost track of what fricking week it is, i think 8?
Anyway, I know this, fucking big12 teams with 2td leads and under 10 minutes to play can NOT win the game. I mean I know I can be a bit of a grumudgin, but for fucks sake tejas tech - you were at home with 7:52 in the game when cousin breeders got the ball down 2 scores and lost in REGULATION!! So now i'm 15 points out of first instead of 5 or 6, I didn't actually figure the numbers just a guestimate.
Ok, this week truly will be short as I actually want most of these picks to be wrong to help the buckeyes who no doubt will probably lose to st U of Jersey and make it meaningless anyway, but oh what might be if this offense can start doing this against better defenses - as always we shall see.
10 pts - Put a gag in her and she can't say no state wins, over - are you kidding me we invented sex crimes golden showers or domers? Interesting stat - ND is 4-0-2 all time against defending National Champion still ranked first following year when domers come to play so...
9 pts - Baylor wins, fuck you west virginia you suck and Baylor is not going to stop scoring like tech did.
8 pts - Oklahoma wins, good things k state isn't a rival or sooners might play awful and keep it close like they did last week.
7 pts - Stan wins, why do I have this so high, I don't think i've picked a 7 pointer right all season, ok well I have, but damn please beat the sun devils tree boys please.
6 pts - Clemson wins, do we have someone in the league that went to BC? How do there boring as games keep getting in picks each year, oh cause they are great picks cause who the fuck knows what will happen?
5 pts - Nebraska wins, fuck you Bo if you can't beat gothic barney state.
4 pts - Uga wins, over Karma Bret, talk about battle over the overrated blowhard coaches!!
3 pts - Maryland wins, over Ferentz - don't forget when picking ferentz has the chance of winning anything that actually means anything out of the way so his teams are free to play well and beat teams they shouldn't now - tread lightly, very lightly.
2 pts - Or st wins, over utah, thursday night games are a crap shoot.
1 pt - Ok st wins, over tcu, ya know if ok st wins out their only loss would be to 'fuck her in the pussy' st. That's puts them square in the teams still with a shot at the playoffs that could have names that would make people go huh?
Well there it is, look for me to be 30+ pts out after this week with those picks, I really have no confidence in them, hope for a miracle I guess.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
wk 7 cfb picks
How can you have writers block when your only writing is meaningless rants about sports in a pointless attempt to be both funny and nostradoumsly? What's my motivation? Who could possibly have insights into how these teams will play week in and week out? It's f-ing madness, MADNESS!! A first playoff ever with Arizona/Baylor/Miss St and Ga Tech is possible!! This week Penn St plays TUN with a 2pt spread and it did NOT I SAY NOT make our top 10 games this week and it shouldn't have, wtf is happening in cfb?! Well whatever, grip it and rip it baby, here goes nothing...
10 pts - bama wins (over the karma's a bitch Brett), if Saban losses 2 straight and the second being to a Beilama coached team look for Kiffin to get 'skull fucked' on live tv cause the best part of Brett definitely ran down the crack of his mommy's ass!!
9 pts - Okla wins (over the long-face-horns), not much of a red river shootout this year me thinks, but who knows?
8 pts - Baylor wins (over could tcu make the playoffs?), remember when baylor athletes had to kill each other to make the news? Well now I guess they're a real contender? weird
side note every game here on should be a god damn 1 pt game! F me these are tricky!
7 pts - Uga wins (over they lost to indiana), THEY LOST AT HOME TO THE FIGHTING CORSO'S!!
6 pts - Oregon wins (over the love those white sweater tops), no reason no reason no reason, so why so high? gut feeling I guess.
5 pts - UCF wins (over the fighting magic undies), fuck UCF could get in the playoff? Well some day when they get in a power 5 conference.
4 pts - S cal wins (over you hear that laugh ann arbor? oh he's a smug little prick and he's laughing right now), but it can't last, hail mary's and mighty upsets can't keep happening and when they lose the pac 14 will be out of the playoff picture and possibly bring back the litt1e small chance.
3 pts - textech wins (over my cousin purty mouth st), looking for td's and offense, this is your ole special this weekend, look for a 69-61 type game.
2 pts - A&M wins (over 2 two dos 2 II seriously he won 2 superbowls and they sucked when he was there), mississippippisiipspsi can't really both be this good at once? I know one of them is going down this weekend, so i'm going to make them my 1/2 pt games and hope i'm right.
1 pt - Auburn wins (over the other one), I'm starting to believe Auburn is best team in the country which means they will likely lose sat, so 1 pt game.
Well there's my nothingness, not very strong/long this week, but I got it done with a mindful of mush thanks to work. Maybe also because buckeyes are on bye (again)? Who knows, next week i'll try try again, until then lets see if cfb top 20 teams run scared like the draft was reinstated and Canada started looking nice again, eh?
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
wk 6 picks
I don't know if it's because I'm close to the top or because games are better or because I'm over thinking it, but damn these games feel way more difficult this season. I'm fairly sure this week will separate the pack and I really hope I find a way to stay at the top...
10 pts - Clemson wins (over the fighting Joe Pesci's, ok he's not the coach anymore but...), ok I want to say this is the freebie game based on the points spread, but I feel I'm being set up for a big loss here. Why? Well I always say the fake big programs (i.e. Vatech and Clemson which yes we've lost to in under 1 yr - yay!) brag about wins that look good on paper, but are meaningless because they don't ever get over the top and have great seasons (again Vatech and Clemson). So, Clemson is a 16.5pt fav at home over a team that shot their pigskin load to try and get schools biggest win over the famouisless fighting 'fuck her in the pussy''s and still lost. Thus they should redtube them over a chair and go to town, but they'll probably ball up in the corner and cry like Bo Pelini after his kitty cat dies.
9 pts - Bama wins (over the fighting Eli Manning's), S A B A N! Nuff Said (I hate him, but I'd let his fake capped teeth and whore wife move into Muirfield and coach the buckeye's in a second)
8 pts - Sparty wins (over the some sort of ugly playdoh red-shirts), I don't care if they let all 72 of Abdullah's future virgins come down from heaven and perform 'candle dances' on the sparty sideline during the game they ain't running rough shot on a Dantonio defense! The droopey dog of the litt1e doesn't sleep on game weeks like this! Tressel ball is alive and well in east lansing. Oh and if sparty does german porn gag this game away then whatever tiny tiny tiny chance the litt1e had of getting a team in the first cfb playoff is O V E R!!
7 pts - Auburn wins (over fighting grass eatin mad-hater's), early in the week I was going to pick lsu because well lsu has owned war eagle lately, but they are a defensive football team first and the defense has really struggled with running qb's (or safeties play qb in wisc case) this year and Auburn has one of the best dual threat (triple if you include minor crimes) qb's, Good ole Les is going true frosh qb this week (on the road in the sec for first game) because he's worried about needing to score.
6 pts - Nd wins (over the can we get in the Harbaugh back to college talk), our father who be chillin in heaven, gives us this day our daily Gohlston, forgive him his cheating, thy winnings come on the field as not in the classroom... the coach, the team, the most important player - Amen!
5 pts - Bucks win (over the how and the F did we end up playing in Maryland twice this year, hope the boys don't get herps from the terps), I just can't get comfortable picking this time higher. The point spread says we should be the 9 pt game this week, but our defense and the I'm not totally buying offense won't make mistakes combine to make me think we should win easily all our remaining games save sparty, but damn I just don't know! I really hope to keep seeing the offensive line getting better because the skill talent is definitely there and damn straight JT has game (maybe not Braxton's but maybe better in some ways).
4 pts - S Cal wins (over the fighting Plummers), sorry just had a David Boston moment... suck it Jake the garden snake! Ok, flashback over - Cooper!! Um yeah, I don't know, Trojans at home/better and actually a big favorite, well this week big (7.5).
3 pts - A&M wins (over the how do they actually have two universities in Mississisisisissispppiippi? St), pass offense vs great defense go with home team right? well not me this week, but only 3 pt game so... plus ask any browns fan how good that a&m offense scheme is - it suckered us into drafting Johnny football. ok, in fairness most of that is on us having a horrible front office taking direction from our crazy owner, but still...
2 pts - SDSU wins (over the fighting Fast and Furious's), how is fresno this or anytime of year? Eh, who knows, I'd like to ban non-pac14 California games from being in the picks! I mean unless Marshal Faulk Jr. is playing at SDSU I don't know and I don't care. If I was 20 single and in San Diego I wouldn't know what pigskin is! Lambskin or Latex Yes!!
1 pt - St U of NJ wins (over the he's already dead so stop trying to kill Coach Bo!), where to begin where to begin? The poor attendance, the poor play, the poor 'communication', the epic ticket promotions, the fact that most former players want nothing to do with program over feeling slighted and unappreciated? My good friend and suffering (but still staying strong with his colors) TUN fan Slackman brought interesting ? up - how would I be if bucks were in same situation (because most buckeye fans including me that bemoan struggles of the cooper years know it was bj's and draft beer compared to what the winged helmets are going through)? Well let me paint a picture - Have you ever seen a fat man with anger issues after cooking pizza with pot-butter and sprinkling acid laced red pepper flakes all over and then free-basing it? NOT GOOD NOT GOOD!! I pray it never happens, but probably why it has fascinated me so it because if it can happen there it can happen anywhere! We could have gone Mason to Zook instead of Tressel to Meyer!! Oh god where's that pizza!!
So there it is another week another rant of undecipherable goobly gook non-sense from a deranged man that is someone's father! Pray for my son, ok well send him well wishes, I'd rather the boogey man in the sky focus all his/her infinite power on keeping Ebola in Africa! What? It's where? We didn't stop daily flight's from west Africa until this was cleared up? Ohhh, thanks government! On top of things as usual!
Is there a Pulitzer prize for sarcasm? Boom goes the dynamite!!
10 pts - Clemson wins (over the fighting Joe Pesci's, ok he's not the coach anymore but...), ok I want to say this is the freebie game based on the points spread, but I feel I'm being set up for a big loss here. Why? Well I always say the fake big programs (i.e. Vatech and Clemson which yes we've lost to in under 1 yr - yay!) brag about wins that look good on paper, but are meaningless because they don't ever get over the top and have great seasons (again Vatech and Clemson). So, Clemson is a 16.5pt fav at home over a team that shot their pigskin load to try and get schools biggest win over the famouisless fighting 'fuck her in the pussy''s and still lost. Thus they should redtube them over a chair and go to town, but they'll probably ball up in the corner and cry like Bo Pelini after his kitty cat dies.
9 pts - Bama wins (over the fighting Eli Manning's), S A B A N! Nuff Said (I hate him, but I'd let his fake capped teeth and whore wife move into Muirfield and coach the buckeye's in a second)
8 pts - Sparty wins (over the some sort of ugly playdoh red-shirts), I don't care if they let all 72 of Abdullah's future virgins come down from heaven and perform 'candle dances' on the sparty sideline during the game they ain't running rough shot on a Dantonio defense! The droopey dog of the litt1e doesn't sleep on game weeks like this! Tressel ball is alive and well in east lansing. Oh and if sparty does german porn gag this game away then whatever tiny tiny tiny chance the litt1e had of getting a team in the first cfb playoff is O V E R!!
7 pts - Auburn wins (over fighting grass eatin mad-hater's), early in the week I was going to pick lsu because well lsu has owned war eagle lately, but they are a defensive football team first and the defense has really struggled with running qb's (or safeties play qb in wisc case) this year and Auburn has one of the best dual threat (triple if you include minor crimes) qb's, Good ole Les is going true frosh qb this week (on the road in the sec for first game) because he's worried about needing to score.
5 pts - Bucks win (over the how and the F did we end up playing in Maryland twice this year, hope the boys don't get herps from the terps), I just can't get comfortable picking this time higher. The point spread says we should be the 9 pt game this week, but our defense and the I'm not totally buying offense won't make mistakes combine to make me think we should win easily all our remaining games save sparty, but damn I just don't know! I really hope to keep seeing the offensive line getting better because the skill talent is definitely there and damn straight JT has game (maybe not Braxton's but maybe better in some ways).
4 pts - S Cal wins (over the fighting Plummers), sorry just had a David Boston moment... suck it Jake the garden snake! Ok, flashback over - Cooper!! Um yeah, I don't know, Trojans at home/better and actually a big favorite, well this week big (7.5).
3 pts - A&M wins (over the how do they actually have two universities in Mississisisisissispppiippi? St), pass offense vs great defense go with home team right? well not me this week, but only 3 pt game so... plus ask any browns fan how good that a&m offense scheme is - it suckered us into drafting Johnny football. ok, in fairness most of that is on us having a horrible front office taking direction from our crazy owner, but still...
2 pts - SDSU wins (over the fighting Fast and Furious's), how is fresno this or anytime of year? Eh, who knows, I'd like to ban non-pac14 California games from being in the picks! I mean unless Marshal Faulk Jr. is playing at SDSU I don't know and I don't care. If I was 20 single and in San Diego I wouldn't know what pigskin is! Lambskin or Latex Yes!!
1 pt - St U of NJ wins (over the he's already dead so stop trying to kill Coach Bo!), where to begin where to begin? The poor attendance, the poor play, the poor 'communication', the epic ticket promotions, the fact that most former players want nothing to do with program over feeling slighted and unappreciated? My good friend and suffering (but still staying strong with his colors) TUN fan Slackman brought interesting ? up - how would I be if bucks were in same situation (because most buckeye fans including me that bemoan struggles of the cooper years know it was bj's and draft beer compared to what the winged helmets are going through)? Well let me paint a picture - Have you ever seen a fat man with anger issues after cooking pizza with pot-butter and sprinkling acid laced red pepper flakes all over and then free-basing it? NOT GOOD NOT GOOD!! I pray it never happens, but probably why it has fascinated me so it because if it can happen there it can happen anywhere! We could have gone Mason to Zook instead of Tressel to Meyer!! Oh god where's that pizza!!
So there it is another week another rant of undecipherable goobly gook non-sense from a deranged man that is someone's father! Pray for my son, ok well send him well wishes, I'd rather the boogey man in the sky focus all his/her infinite power on keeping Ebola in Africa! What? It's where? We didn't stop daily flight's from west Africa until this was cleared up? Ohhh, thanks government! On top of things as usual!
Is there a Pulitzer prize for sarcasm? Boom goes the dynamite!!
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