wk 6 picks

I don't know if it's because I'm close to the top or because games are better or because I'm over thinking it, but damn these games feel way more difficult this season. I'm fairly sure this week will separate the pack and I really hope I find a way to stay at the top...

10 pts - Clemson wins (over the fighting Joe Pesci's, ok he's not the coach anymore but...), ok I want to say this is the freebie game based on the points spread, but I feel I'm being set up for a big loss here. Why? Well I always say the fake big programs (i.e. Vatech and Clemson which yes we've lost to in under 1 yr - yay!) brag about wins that look good on paper, but are meaningless because they don't ever get over the top and have great seasons (again Vatech and Clemson). So, Clemson is a 16.5pt fav at home over a team that shot their pigskin load to try and get schools biggest win over the famouisless fighting 'fuck her in the pussy''s and still lost. Thus they should redtube them over a chair and go to town, but they'll probably ball up in the corner and cry like Bo Pelini after his kitty cat dies.

9 pts - Bama wins (over the fighting Eli Manning's), S A B A N! Nuff Said (I hate him, but I'd let his fake capped teeth and whore wife move into Muirfield and coach the buckeye's in a second)

8 pts - Sparty wins (over the some sort of ugly playdoh red-shirts), I don't care if they let all 72 of Abdullah's future virgins come down from heaven and perform 'candle dances' on the sparty sideline during the game they ain't running rough shot on a Dantonio defense! The droopey dog of the litt1e doesn't sleep on game weeks like this! Tressel ball is alive and well in east lansing. Oh and if sparty does german porn gag this game away then whatever tiny tiny tiny chance the litt1e had of getting a team in the first cfb playoff is O V E R!!

7 pts - Auburn wins (over fighting grass eatin mad-hater's), early in the week I was going to pick lsu because well lsu has owned war eagle lately, but they are a defensive football team first and the defense has really struggled with running qb's (or safeties play qb in wisc case) this year and Auburn has one of the best dual threat (triple if you include minor crimes) qb's, Good ole Les is going true frosh qb this week (on the road in the sec for first game) because he's worried about needing to score.

6 pts - Nd wins (over the can we get in the Harbaugh back to college talk), our father who be chillin in heaven, gives us this day our daily Gohlston, forgive him his cheating, thy winnings come on the field as not in the classroom... the coach, the team, the most important player - Amen!

5 pts - Bucks win (over the how and the F did we end up playing in Maryland twice this year, hope the boys don't get herps from the terps), I just can't get comfortable picking this time higher. The point spread says we should be the 9 pt game this week, but our defense and the I'm not totally buying offense won't make mistakes combine to make me think we should win easily all our remaining games save sparty, but damn I just don't know! I really hope to keep seeing the offensive line getting better because the skill talent is definitely there and damn straight JT has game (maybe not Braxton's but maybe better in some ways).

4 pts - S Cal wins (over the fighting Plummers), sorry just had a David Boston moment... suck it Jake the garden snake! Ok, flashback over - Cooper!! Um yeah, I don't know, Trojans at home/better and actually a big favorite, well this week big (7.5).

3 pts - A&M wins (over the how do they actually have two universities in Mississisisisissispppiippi? St), pass offense vs great defense go with home team right? well not me this week, but only 3 pt game so... plus ask any browns fan how good that a&m offense scheme is - it suckered us into drafting Johnny football. ok, in fairness most of that is on us having a horrible front office taking direction from our crazy owner, but still...

2 pts - SDSU wins (over the fighting Fast and Furious's), how is fresno this or anytime of year? Eh, who knows, I'd like to ban non-pac14 California games from being in the picks! I mean unless Marshal Faulk Jr. is playing at SDSU I don't know and I don't care. If I was 20 single and in San Diego I wouldn't know what pigskin is! Lambskin or Latex Yes!!

1 pt - St U of NJ wins (over the he's already dead so stop trying to kill Coach Bo!), where to begin where to begin? The poor attendance, the poor play, the poor 'communication', the epic ticket promotions, the fact that most former players want nothing to do with program over feeling slighted and unappreciated? My good friend and suffering (but still staying strong with his colors) TUN fan Slackman brought interesting ? up - how would I be if bucks were in same situation (because most buckeye fans including me that bemoan struggles of the cooper years know it was bj's and draft beer compared to what the winged helmets are going through)? Well let me paint a picture - Have you ever seen a fat man with anger issues after cooking pizza with pot-butter and sprinkling acid laced red pepper flakes all over and then free-basing it? NOT GOOD NOT GOOD!! I pray it never happens, but probably why it has fascinated me so it because if it can happen there it can happen anywhere! We could have gone Mason to Zook instead of Tressel to Meyer!! Oh god where's that pizza!!

So there it is another week another rant of undecipherable goobly gook non-sense from a deranged man that is someone's father! Pray for my son, ok well send him well wishes, I'd rather the boogey man in the sky focus all his/her infinite power on keeping Ebola in Africa! What? It's where? We didn't stop daily flight's from west Africa until this was cleared up? Ohhh, thanks government! On top of things as usual!

Is there a Pulitzer prize for sarcasm? Boom goes the dynamite!!