cfb week 14 picks - the end...

So here it is the last week of cfb picks 2015 and the buckeyes aren’t in the b1g champ game, but played amazing in the only game that matters and some how still have a shot, all be it a small one, at making the playoff’s and defending their title! In the same vain and despite my pour performance the last couple of weeks I still have a shot at my first title in cfb picks, again all be it a small chance, and hoping to regain some magic and take the title. (note to el prez, maybe include playoff picks of top people as those bonus pts should come into play, was it 5 pts per correct team?)

Now I’ve stated that this year I was just going to be logical with my picks and not do anything crazy like pick a team I knew would lose as my 10 pt winner because I hate them and want to ensure their loss and for the most part I have stuck with that concept. However, I find that maybe I talked my self into fearing things that weren’t really happening, ala bucks being awful because of one bad game against sparty and over valuing Harbum’s magic powers. No doubt dude has magic powers, but even he couldn’t overcome talent gap and injuries in the match up this season. But after he gets a couple years to recruit better talent I see much more evenness in the best rivalry in sports.

One last thing before my picks – Mark Richt is the new coach at the U, I’m speechless that is going to be epic epic epic no matter winning and losing. Imagine if he wins it all? Well Georgia has been on fire before.

Oh and the motto for this final week… A – lways   B – e    C – losing!! Now lets go get my Cadillac!!

10 pt, Bama wins – I so so so so so so want to be wrong on this one, but no way the gators are winning a game when they can’t score!! They got 2 pts at home against FSU, bama’s defense makes FSU’s look like security guards at a Crab leg grocery store!!

9 pt, App st wins – Seriously hoping el prez just loves him some 1aa football and it’s a thin week, because only other reason to put this game in picks is trolling tun fans and that would just be cold.

8 pt, W Kent wins – And guessing that this game is in here because once a buckeye always in el prez’s heart (see dantonio selfies) and I’ll bite – Go fighting Noah Spence’s!! This win ought to be a real Rave!! (too soon?)

7 pt, BGSU wins – cause somebody in ugly brown and orange uni’s should win something in this fucking state? No actually this is because the point spread says they should win, they lost last year and won year before, and finally because strange enough N Ill winning would help the buckeyes long shot playoff chances which surely means they will choke.

6 pt, WV wins – I only pray the other people close to me have this exactly same pick and place as me, because I’m vomiting just at thought of this being the game that does me in. I mean wv is better team and should win, but it’s road game and never know what weather will be, but I can’t justify moving it or changing pick, damn you big 12 I hate picking your games!!

5 pt, Clem wins – well he’ll prove me wrong and it still won’t help the buckeyes, but I’m buying into Dabo and that clemson’ing is a thing of the past, well until they play bama.

4 pt, SDSU wins – this is game I considered flopping with WV game, but again losing on either of these games would be sickening!! Just kind of thinking that those Academy schools can beat anyone if they catch them off guard. But who fucking knows.

3 pt, Houston wins – Go Tom Herman Go! Gonna rock that ‘never heard of your conference’ championship trophy in year 1! Also sounds if Tom is going to be patient (he is Mensa member) and wait for his dream job to open up (which it would this year if anyone at the athletic department in Austin was a Mensa member) and stay at Houston until he can go lead the Longhorns back to glory.

2 pt, Sparty wins – Here is case where I wanted to put Iowa as my 9 pt winner because sparty winning is a huge huge help for us to get in playoff if there are upsets, but I couldn’t let my fandom cost me shot at a trophy, so I’m going to say what I really think will happen. Sparty’s defense and Conner Cook prove the difference maker against a better than I’d like to give them credit for (but still not playoff caliber) Iowa team and Sparty wins 41-24.

1 pt, Stan wins – I normally would say a team is hard to beat twice in one year and the Trojans will exact revenge and that is what I want to happen because again it will help the buckeyes, but I don’t think we are going to get the breaks and make the playoff’s this year, so going to say as my least confident pick that Stanford gets the double and makes the playoff’s which will be…

Clemson vs Stanford and Bama vs Sparty, with Bama beating Clemson for the 2^nd playoff national championship – Jibbers R Christo I hope I’m wrong!!

Go Bucks!!

wk 13 cfb picks

Was the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house the Small Pox blankets were packed and their land and maize we were ready to steal...

I don't know what that was about...

Anyway, it seems to me there are 3 possibilities as to why I wasn't more upset last week after our loss to sparty.

1 and the one I hope it is, i've just matured with age and have a wise and better outlook on the more important things in life.

2 and likely the most realistic and likely reason, i've got more things in the world to worry about and fear than silly football losses.

3 and the one that would probably be the scariest, I haven't really changed. How, well more that i've just been lawed into a peace from years and years of winning that could easily come crashing down around me in a cooper-esq decade on the horizon that would lead to a snap back to a person that wasn't not mentally healthy. Let's hope we never find out.

Ok, one last thing before my picks, i've done what I should not (nor should anyone) do and changed my mind on many a pick and the order. This week of games is always the most difficult week to choose, because these are rivalry games and you just never know.

10, Bama wins - The freebie this week, no way Auburn getting any fluke fg returns or gonna just rivalry up. The mean fake tooth midget is going to the playoff's and probably going to win it all again and save the south from starting to question their place in college football and by question I do mean act irrationally like the uneducated bible thumping rubes they are.

9, Pitt wins - I mean really?

8, Okla wins - don't you dare do it to me Stoopes, time to step up and prove me wrong that your not just a fluke championship 15 years ago from being the Cooper of the Big 12/10/8/6

7, LSU wins - I mean they are at home and Les is reportedly trying to save his job, so...

6, tun wins - Well I had my original sheet with the bucks as a 1 pt winner and a whole rap about not going to do it, not going to pick against my boys even if I think they are going to lose. Then I remembered i'm trying to pick my games unemotionally this year. I really hope the bucks show up and look good and win and we can say last week was just a product of getting big heads and coaches getting tight with play calling in bad weather. I fear we will find that coaches messing with not making a clear choice at qb has led to neither being ready or prepared for good teams. We will see, we know harbum will have his guys ready to play, hopefully our guys show up and show a little defending national champions pride. We will see... remember north till you smell it and west till you step in it!! Go Bucks!!

5, Fla wins - swamp swamp swamp

4, So Cal wins - 2 weeks in a row where the Bruins can screw me and probably will.

3, Stan wins - I really wanted to pick ND because I think they can win this and can make the playoff's but something about history on road and the point spread says this is setting up for ND heartbreak. Also, as a buckeye fan chaos in the next 2 weeks is a very very very important thing to us. Well assuming we can take care of our part and win.

2, Miss St wins - another one I flopped on and not sure why beyond home field and last shot for Dax, I kind of think i'll be write and win this or be way way way wrong and ole miss will blow out miss st.

1, TCU wins - and my last flop and this is because of Baylor now being on their 3rd string qb (which was good for the bucks last year, but with a little more time to prepare I think?)

So there it is, man another cfb year has flown by and we are looking at the best game of the year. Let's hope Jim becomes first tun coach to lose first osu game at home since 1929. Then again bucks last conference road loss was 2011 in ann arbor so... Oh Yeah, el prez Stats warning, wait guess should have put that first, my bad!! 15!!!!

wk 12 cfb picks

Holy Jibbers what a week of games, there are like 3 or 4 other games that could be worthy of picks this week, but none of the 10 games on here are unworthy and frankly picking pac 12 games is like playing Russian roulette!! So here goes nothing...

10 pts, Okla wins - had this high before TCU's best wr got listed as out for the season and bumped up to my top game, Oklahoma fans are going to be 1 loss awaiting the cfb playoff final rankings and trying to make sense of how they are sweating out missing the playoffs because of a shitty losing record Charlie not so Strong fighting Longhorns. Well, guess that's why it's a rivalry game.

9 pts, Stan wins - Rivalry game is only reason this will even be close.

8 pts, Mich wins - they might have fallen asleep in Hoosier'ville, but I see harbum having team fired up in pedi-land. If last week was not an aberration and the defense is starting to show signs of wear/tear then the frosh rb at penn st will make them pay. I think next week's game will be for the right to go win the conference championship game - as lots feel it should be every year.

7 pts, OSU wins - must say I was on verge of picking sparty, there are so many bad voodoo stats from 98 sparty (before tun game) game to my brother working the game (he did work last years tun game, but he also worked the Trojan game years back). Also, the point spread is odd high which usually is a sign of vegas trying to move betting because they smell an upset, but also could be they know more (as always) about Cook's shoulder injury. Hard to say, I think at home we play good enough to win and then... Well I won't be wearing my fucking khaki's to work next week!!

6 pts, Utah wins - this is my 6 pt game? really this game on I wanted to put at my 1 pt game, I have no idea, the pac 12 is crazy this year, who knows, um i'll go home team and the fact that the Bruins are traveling in ambulance to the game?

5 pts, Oregon wins - have they righted the ship and returned to score score score Orgeon? Looks that way, will know after this weekend as they will need to against the Charlie Sheen doesn't know who we are's!!

4 pts, Ole wins - The only Fournette will get back in Heisman race after last two weeks is a couple of 300+ yd games which he very well could do against Ole Miss, but I really think we are going to find out he is only top skill player they have this year and Ole Miss will score at will.

3 pts, Barlor wins - That freshman qb showed some stuff against Oklahoma even if they did lose, look for them to ruin Big 12/10/8 chances at the playoff race for the 2nd straight year and that will make the domers very very very happy.

2 pts, S fla wins - I for the life of me looking at this match up and common opponents can not for the life of me see why cincy is a road favorite in this game. Crazy, crazy enough i'll be cursing them when they win.

1 pt, ASU wins - R I V A L R Y game with R I C R R O D - nuff said, yes I think he won this game last year, but he couldn't win two in a row vs the Stache with WV and he won zero in Ann Arbor, so no way he goes on road to win again this year?

Oh look for upsets in the North Carolina and Houston games, might be wrong but those are both road trap games for teams not used to having a shot at winning anything ever.

Wk 11 cfb picks

Maybe the dumbest thing in long time is the college playoff committee putting out weekly polls before the final poll. I mean it is clearly only being done, as most things, as a whore publicity stunt for espn and all other media outlets to have something to drive hype and talk about. I mean ND over undefeated teams in major conferences and Iowa in the 5^th spot? Hahahahahahaah But they got the conferences to go along for most part with scheduling and the last 3 weeks of the regular season are likely to be crazy and full of ups and downs.

For my team it is very straight forward but difficult, win and your in, no style points this season, just take care of business each week and try and survive a gauntlet of tough games/teams.

So here goes nothing, this weeks games seem very upset possible or all chalk, hard to say, could be very good or very bad.

10 pts, Bama wins – I don’t know how they loss to ole miss, but this bama team is every bit as good as last years team and if anyone wants a reminder of how bad ass Zeke’s championship run was last year, well just as Leonard Fournette how last week went.

9 pts, UCLA wins – this is one seems like a no brainer, hope I’m not missing an injury or something, not sure why point spread is as close as it is? Strange, probably be a mistake having this so high.

8 pts, OSU wins – well they spread is low in a way that indicates vegas is trying to drive betting and knows something, makes me nervous. Also makes me nervous going to the wind tunnel of a high school stadium. Hope JT magic is strong in his return and Bucks aren’t looking past the illini to the final battle against those smells emitting from up north.

7 pts,  Houston wins – man I saw coach Tom got a little salty this week about his boys being not respected in poles and I hope that is him trying to get edge for his team in their biggest game this week. It makes me a little nervous that they will lay an egg, but I hope not and they are by far a better team. Sadly they won’t gain much of an advantage being at home and thus why Texas should swoop in and snag coach Tom and get back to being a national power.

6 pts, Utah wins - don’t you richrod me richrod! You suck, but this isn’t a rivalry game, so you could pull the upset, please don’t. Pretend they are the Utah Sun Devils/Buckeye’s/Panthers and lay down like the rivalry losing little bitch you are!!

5 pts, Duke wins – I mean both these teams just got cosby’d by NC, thinking Duke heals more at home with a win.

4 pts, WV wins – Had this at 6 pt game, but dropped a bit as WV has lost like 4 or 5 in a row and Charlie is trying to hang on to his job with a ‘Strong’ finish. Thank You Thank you, remember to tip your waiters and the 9:30 show is non-smoking!!

3 pts, GaTech wins – I I I … uh, yeah I got nothing, there is literally nothing, funny, exciting or interesting about this game at all.

2 pts, Auburn wins – Putting this low, because this is a game that means nothing but SEC delusional fans that think it’s so hard to win on the road in conference (it’s not as hard as they make it out) will let Mark Cooper off the hook again for under achieving with a meaningless ‘big’ road win.

1 pt, Okla wins – Had Baylor low and then heard a stat that made me change mind and take chance on Oklahoma pulling upset on the road, only team other than bama in top 15 rankings of both offense and defense is Oklahoma. Furthermore, if they run the table (beating TCU, Ok ST and Baylor) they can win conference out right and with some breaks actually be back in the playoff possibilities. Now I don’t think that will happen and frankly think Stoopes is just a step above the John Richt’s of cfb, but if some how they do – what a statement about how true rivalry games you can throw record out the window. Really how was Tejas within 40 pts of boomer sooner is amazing. But that is why they play the games.

Okie dokie, damn seasons always fly by so fast, we are 17 days from The Game!! Go Bucks!!

wk 10 cfb

So coming off the bye week for the bucks did anything important happen? Hem, Hem, jebus our qb gotta a little Mohler’d up and drove, more coaches quit or retired or something and Harbum said something crazy that I have to admit I 100% agree with and frankly if you don’t think a daily steak is a good vitamin – well me and khaki boy tell you to go blow!! Oh, Jerry, one quick thing – um yeah maybe, just maybe you should return the clock management notebook to the interim head coach! I mean I know that Hellen-Keller the new line judge probably should have called off sides on that qb sneak and given you another shot at winning, but if you hadn’t shit the bed on the will they/won’t they restart the clock after a 15min review then it wouldn’t have mattered. But on the bright side, that missed offside call was text book zebra mode compared to the clown show in Miami last week.

Ok, this weeks picks are from Ian, which means I’ll probably go 2-8 as karmic payback for the texts slack and I share about his Dickusness. Ehh, here goes nothing…

10 pt, Baylor wins – Like really Ian fucking I know K state and the crypt keeper are your 2^nd favorite team, but why? Does he run a group plane to Thailand for a little Jarroding of full Asian girls? Guess that explains why he only allows soft butter! 5, 5, 5  dollar prison rapes!!

9 pt, ND wins – Crazy scenario I don’t want to happen obviously, but lets say Clemson goes undefeated (1seed), TCU or Baylor goes undefeated (3seed), LSU goes undefeated (2seed) and then somehow Iowa goes undefeated (cause they play nobody in the regular season worth a damn and then gets the weakened survivor of sparty/tun/bucks triad war). Does Iowa get the 4 seed if the Catholics only loss is on the road to Clemson in a very close competitive game?

8 pt, Memphis wins – a can we get in it from the small schools show down setting up between ‘hey least your not in Arkansas yet’ tigers and the fighting tom hermans next week? Me thinks so…

7 pt, Houston wins – see above, go fighting tom hermans, jebus I have dreams of the day that slack be grousing over a el prez/herman on tv winning big selfie!!

6 pt, Clemson wins – sorry Dabo or whatever your shit white trash name is, but if you don’t win out and give yourself a shot in the playoff’s this year then you can eat it cause it will officially be changed from Munsoning to Clemsoning!! Oh yeah bucks were 16^th with one early loss last year when first polls came out and free shoes is in that position this year, so don’t count them out yet.

5 pt, TCU wins – look here Big 12/10/8/6/10… Baylor QB has manning neck and okla lost to texas somehow, so all your eggs for the playoffs are in the hornfrog basket. Good luck with that…

4 pt, Bama wins – there once was a glistening capped tooth midget feared in the south and just because it’s been like 5 seconds since he won it all shouldn’t mean that everyone just writes him off. Look, I’ll say it – LSU has looked pretty amazing for a team without a good qb, but can you really go into Tuscapontiac, Alabuick and win all one dimensional on offense? I don’t think so, but if they do it’ll be the Heisman wrap up for Chocolate City Fourdette!!

3 pt, NC wins – Can Duke go back to sucking major monkey dick in football, I don’t know how to pick their games, yes I’m bitter I lost 2 points off my lead to my brother because of they play. But fuck Duke, it’s called a squib kick, maybe you’ve heard of it?

2 pt, Penn St wins – I don’t know if clemsoning is officially a thing, but Nwesterning sure the hell is and it has got to have a lot of Stanford fans asking how the hell they lost to that team.

1 pt, Miss St wins – where ranked teams go to die and yet I’ve picked both road ranked teams on Thursday night to win, I figured out my brain damaged problem – they say a beer a day is good for you, but they probably don’t mean drink your 365 yearly beers on 6 -10 days during the year. I’m not good with moderation!!

You see me? That’s me over there just trying to hang on and waiting for my fingers to slip…

wk 9 cfb

That week when you get to pick the games cause el prez be coming home, that’s the week you probably go 2-8 and loose your shit. Oh well, you can’t win what you don’t bet, here goes nothing…

10 pt, Mich wins – ok normally I’d do my harbum thing, but fuck that presser today from Jerry got me taking a serious moment here. I mean that guy’s heart is wrapped in pigskin and he’s just lost, wanted to give him a hug or something. But when he said his mom asked him if he was ok with decision and he just said “no”, well fuck my sappy emotional ass I’d have to put on Field of Dreams to cry like that – “Dad, wanna have a catch?” Ok, I’m gonna take 5 min and then get back to the jokes after I call me pops.

9 pt, TCU wins – This is type of game that can really screw me, but now that Baylor’s qb went all Peyton neck for the season, TCU is sitting pretty good to take care of business, we shall see if they do…

8 pt, Houston wins – Seriously I will keep saying it till someone does it or he shits the bed and comes back to earth, but HOW AND THE FUCK HAS TEXAS OR HELL USC/MIAMI/ETC ETC NOT HIRED THIS GUY LIKE YESTERDAY? (I mean we need to get him at a school that is big time, so el prez can take selfies with him and send them to the veep thus annoying him endlessly)

7 pt, USC wins – That Trojan team that whopped the utes last week is the one some had as a sleeper to win it all and will likely be in the holiday bowl instead.

6 pt, Ole Miss wins – They lost to Memphis after losing their best defensive player in first half, if he plays rest of the season and they win out he ought be number 1 pick in draft – no questions asked.

5 pt, ND wins – ok seriously too often jackass creeps with lots of money and/or power never get brought to justice for what they do and likely Mr. It takes the drink with the pillz so I can give her my pudding pop is in that same boat with his apparently decades long rape habits. So the only solace we can get is that his beloved owls are finally on the national college football scene and ain’t no way espn gonna let him within 100 court ordered feet of the gameday set! As for the game, well it’s been nice Temple, but come on, you're playing the og’s of sexual assault cover up, so lets just move you to some Alaskan parish where nobody will hear your screams! Don’t you just love religion? I joked when ND was bad that touchdown jesus was fg jesus, but that sad truth is it really stands for please help jesus.

4 pt, Tenn wins – I really wanted to put this higher in my confidence cause I truly feel the vols are close to being back or at least on the right track and damn if they aren’t a few plays from being undefeated, but sadly this is type of game where all that so close against the big boys/wait till next year talk can turn into oh no they are still awful and that is how bad programs stay bad talk with a road choke to a team they are clearly better than.

3 pt, Duke wins – Come on Duke don’t let the fighting Munish’s go all ‘win one for the little drummer boy’. I mean the canes just suck and I think the administration is a little gun shy to hire a coach that will win the only way that school has or ever will win – by cheating cheating cheating.

2 pt, Pitt wins – what dumb fuck picked these games? I mean fuck me who cares about these teams, this game, fuck. And to boot, I’m picking both the ranked teams in the two Thursday night games to win, breaking my own fucking rule “thurs night, where ranked teams go to die”. I’m just stupid and asking for punishment.

1 pt, Fla wins – the largest outdoor bitch fest in the world. Boo hoo, we aren’t smart enough to fire the Cooper of the SEC, oh yeah well Boo hoo our qb got caught taking she-hulk pills. Anyone that has this game anywhere but the 1pt slot is sniffing glue cause you can never tell what will happen in this battle of the trailer park family fued game.

Okie dokie, enjoy the buckeye bye week, I surely will, and then it’s on to November where legends are made!!