Last week of CFB 2014 picks

Well another year has past, another season Dave has fun (and is a dick that will refer to himself in the third person) and finishes middle of the pack. Sadly time and responsibility (yuk!!) have kept me from giving my in depth prognostications for a few weeks now, but lets see if we can go out on a bang! (Phrasing! Boom! Nailed it!)

Ok, first my never gonna happen, doesn't match my picks, totally wild playoff, watch Ann Arbor burn playoff prediction...

Bama gets upset by Mizzu but in an ugly neither of these teams deserve to be in a playoff game. Then RichRod beats (again) team Nike, then FSU beats GaTech in an ugly come from behind look like crap game (like a lot of their games this season) and finally 'they don't bring us here to play school' finds his inner bowl game Pryor and runs/throws and helps Bucks dominate the badgers! What would you see the committee do? No 1 TCU vs No 4 FSU in the Sugar Bowl and No 2 Arizona vs No 3 OSU in the Rose Bowl! Buckeyes vs RichRod for a spot in the National title game being played in the Rose Bowl as nerves and Budweiser Ray Rice the fuck out of El Prez's liver!! Now that would be some crazy shit!!

But that ain't gonna happen!!

So what will?...

10 pts - TCU takes Iowa St and tries to be the first modern era team to score 100 pts in an effort to say 'please committee don't remember that we are in a crap conference with no championship game'

9 pts - Bama beats the 2nd place team in the SEC west, cause remember Indiana won the SEC west with one very very embarrassing loss for 'SEC Speed'. Seriously Saban will flat kill Kiffin if they don't score 50+ in this game. Let me help Mizzu a bit - FUCKING COVER ARMANI COOPER

8 pts - Baylor beats K St but only because they are at home and no where never impressive enough to get into the playoffs.

7 pts - Marshall didn't go undefeated, but they'll be LaTech, I think, who knows? All I know is Marshall had a movie about their plane crash and Jim Croce died in a plane crash in Louisana. Frankly I love Jim Croce, they should have made a movie about him and his awesome mustache! And I got me a Roller Derby Mama!!

6 pts - Okla be ok st and nobody cares, I mean nobody!!

5 pts - ECU beats UCF because ECU is awesome, I mean they beat VaTech and VaTech is an underrated football team that had a rocky middle of their season, but that people really should consider very talented and NOT AT ALL A BAD LOSS!! Hem Hem, holy shit, sorry I was possessed by Lou Holtz for a minute, thankfully I don't type with a lisp!! Go Bucks!!

4 pts - BGSU beats N. Ill because well I was a Falcon for a little bit and well, every time I went to Detroit or Windsor while there everything I can remember was fucking epic!!

3 pts - RichRod says nigga please to Oregon and reminds them who invented winning with screen passes and almost no defense at all!! (And I can say  that word cause I grew up in the 90's/tan easily/and my wife is from a small town so racist that she was called the real version of that word as a kid for having a good tan - and that last part is true as anything I've ever said on this blog)

2 pts - GaTech finally F's those pricks in there P's and bail's out FSU's joke of a 'honor' policy by beating FSU on the field days before a decision is announced and thus allowing the school to 'up hold it's proud traditions and high standards blah blah blah' hey FSU - I heard Temple just released Cosby from his official duties (duties in the FSU blast? Phrasing! Boom! Nailed it! that's no 2...No 2!!) so why'd don't you see if he wants to come on board? "It puts the ruffy pill in her drink and ... mmm popping pudding ya'll"

1 pt - Bucks beat Wisky, cause dammit I just can't pick them, really 5 yrs of BigTen championship game and we might have it dominated solely by Badgers and Spartans? Fuck that shit, our offensive line is going man up and we are going to run baby run! They might call us Lola by end of the game (anyone get that movie reference?) Or we will get Biakabatuka'd by Gordon and he'll get the Heisman, which will suck but will at least keep Archie as the only 2 time winner. No matter what though (and I asked el prez to remind me of this sat night) we won the only game that matters to me and because of my teenage years will always matter no matter how many swings and misses that school up north takes on the coaching staff.

Ok, that's best I got till bowl names season in a few weeks, hope everyone had a nice 'give us your land and take this booze' day and an even better 'so he's got to pay for that kids entire childhood expenses and his wife is still a virgin?' day!

Veep, El Prez - HELP I HEAR A BUS AND SEE RED LIGHTS!!

wk 8 ? picks

So many bye weeks for ohio state already that i've lost track of what fricking week it is, i think 8?

Anyway, I know this, fucking big12 teams with 2td leads and under 10 minutes to play can NOT win the game. I mean I know I can be a bit of a grumudgin, but for fucks sake tejas tech - you were at home with 7:52 in the game when cousin breeders got the ball down 2 scores and lost in REGULATION!!  So now i'm 15 points out of first instead of 5 or 6, I didn't actually figure the numbers just a guestimate.

Ok, this week truly will be short as I actually want most of these picks to be wrong to help the buckeyes who no doubt will probably lose to st U of Jersey and make it meaningless anyway, but oh what might be if this offense can start doing this against better defenses - as always we shall see.

10 pts - Put a gag in her and she can't say no state wins, over - are you kidding me we invented sex crimes golden showers or domers? Interesting stat - ND is 4-0-2 all time against defending National Champion still ranked first following year when domers come to play so...

9 pts - Baylor wins, fuck you west virginia you suck and Baylor is not going to stop scoring like tech did.

8 pts - Oklahoma wins, good things k state isn't a rival or sooners might play awful and keep it close like they did last week.

7 pts - Stan wins,  why do I have this so high, I don't think i've picked a 7 pointer right all season, ok well I have, but damn please beat the sun devils tree boys please.

6 pts - Clemson wins, do we have someone in the league that went to BC? How do there boring as games keep getting in picks each year, oh cause they are great picks cause who the fuck knows what will happen?

5 pts - Nebraska wins, fuck you Bo if you can't beat gothic barney state.

4 pts - Uga wins, over Karma Bret, talk about battle over the overrated blowhard coaches!!

3 pts - Maryland wins, over Ferentz - don't forget when picking ferentz has the chance of winning anything that actually means anything out of the way so his teams are free to play well and beat teams they shouldn't now - tread lightly, very lightly.

2 pts - Or st wins, over utah, thursday night games are a crap shoot.

1 pt - Ok st wins, over tcu, ya know if ok st wins out their only loss would be to 'fuck her in the pussy' st. That's puts them square in the teams still with a shot at the playoffs that could have names that would make people go huh?

Well there it is, look for me to be 30+ pts out after this week with those picks, I really have no confidence in them, hope for a miracle I guess.

wk 7 cfb picks

How can you have writers block when your only writing is meaningless rants about sports in a pointless attempt to be both funny and nostradoumsly? What's my motivation? Who could possibly have insights into how these teams will play week in and week out? It's f-ing madness, MADNESS!! A first playoff ever with Arizona/Baylor/Miss St and Ga Tech is possible!! This week Penn St plays TUN with a 2pt spread and it did NOT I SAY NOT make our top 10 games this week and it shouldn't have, wtf is happening in cfb?! Well whatever, grip it and rip it baby, here goes nothing...

10 pts - bama wins (over the karma's a bitch Brett), if Saban losses 2 straight and the second being to a Beilama coached team look for Kiffin to get 'skull fucked' on live tv cause the best part of Brett definitely ran down the crack of his mommy's ass!!

9 pts - Okla wins (over the long-face-horns), not much of a red river shootout this year me thinks, but who knows?

8 pts - Baylor wins (over could tcu make the playoffs?), remember when baylor athletes had to kill each other to make the news? Well now I guess they're a real contender? weird

side note every game here on should be a god damn 1 pt game! F me these are tricky!

7 pts - Uga wins (over they lost to indiana), THEY LOST AT HOME TO THE FIGHTING CORSO'S!!

6 pts - Oregon wins (over the love those white sweater tops), no reason no reason no reason, so why so high? gut feeling I guess.

5 pts - UCF wins (over the fighting magic undies), fuck UCF could get in the playoff? Well some day when they get in a power 5 conference.

4 pts - S cal wins (over you hear that laugh ann arbor? oh he's a smug little prick and he's laughing right now), but it can't last, hail mary's and mighty upsets can't keep happening and when they lose the pac 14 will be out of the playoff picture and possibly bring back the litt1e small chance.

3 pts - textech wins (over my cousin purty mouth st), looking for td's and offense, this is your ole special this weekend, look for a 69-61 type game.

2 pts - A&M wins (over 2 two dos 2 II seriously he won 2 superbowls and they sucked when he was there), mississippippisiipspsi can't really both be this good at once? I know one of them is going down this weekend, so i'm going to make them my 1/2 pt games and hope i'm right.

1 pt - Auburn wins (over the other one), I'm starting to believe Auburn is best team in the country which means they will likely lose sat, so 1 pt game.

Well there's my nothingness, not very strong/long this week, but I got it done with a mindful of mush thanks to work. Maybe also because buckeyes are on bye (again)? Who knows, next week i'll try try again, until then lets see if cfb top 20 teams run scared like the draft was reinstated and Canada started looking nice again, eh?

wk 6 picks

I don't know if it's because I'm close to the top or because games are better or because I'm over thinking it, but damn these games feel way more difficult this season. I'm fairly sure this week will separate the pack and I really hope I find a way to stay at the top...

10 pts - Clemson wins (over the fighting Joe Pesci's, ok he's not the coach anymore but...), ok I want to say this is the freebie game based on the points spread, but I feel I'm being set up for a big loss here. Why? Well I always say the fake big programs (i.e. Vatech and Clemson which yes we've lost to in under 1 yr - yay!) brag about wins that look good on paper, but are meaningless because they don't ever get over the top and have great seasons (again Vatech and Clemson). So, Clemson is a 16.5pt fav at home over a team that shot their pigskin load to try and get schools biggest win over the famouisless fighting 'fuck her in the pussy''s and still lost. Thus they should redtube them over a chair and go to town, but they'll probably ball up in the corner and cry like Bo Pelini after his kitty cat dies.

9 pts - Bama wins (over the fighting Eli Manning's), S A B A N! Nuff Said (I hate him, but I'd let his fake capped teeth and whore wife move into Muirfield and coach the buckeye's in a second)

8 pts - Sparty wins (over the some sort of ugly playdoh red-shirts), I don't care if they let all 72 of Abdullah's future virgins come down from heaven and perform 'candle dances' on the sparty sideline during the game they ain't running rough shot on a Dantonio defense! The droopey dog of the litt1e doesn't sleep on game weeks like this! Tressel ball is alive and well in east lansing. Oh and if sparty does german porn gag this game away then whatever tiny tiny tiny chance the litt1e had of getting a team in the first cfb playoff is O V E R!!

7 pts - Auburn wins (over fighting grass eatin mad-hater's), early in the week I was going to pick lsu because well lsu has owned war eagle lately, but they are a defensive football team first and the defense has really struggled with running qb's (or safeties play qb in wisc case) this year and Auburn has one of the best dual threat (triple if you include minor crimes) qb's, Good ole Les is going true frosh qb this week (on the road in the sec for first game) because he's worried about needing to score.

6 pts - Nd wins (over the can we get in the Harbaugh back to college talk), our father who be chillin in heaven, gives us this day our daily Gohlston, forgive him his cheating, thy winnings come on the field as not in the classroom... the coach, the team, the most important player - Amen!

5 pts - Bucks win (over the how and the F did we end up playing in Maryland twice this year, hope the boys don't get herps from the terps), I just can't get comfortable picking this time higher. The point spread says we should be the 9 pt game this week, but our defense and the I'm not totally buying offense won't make mistakes combine to make me think we should win easily all our remaining games save sparty, but damn I just don't know! I really hope to keep seeing the offensive line getting better because the skill talent is definitely there and damn straight JT has game (maybe not Braxton's but maybe better in some ways).

4 pts - S Cal wins (over the fighting Plummers), sorry just had a David Boston moment... suck it Jake the garden snake! Ok, flashback over - Cooper!! Um yeah, I don't know, Trojans at home/better and actually a big favorite, well this week big (7.5).

3 pts - A&M wins (over the how do they actually have two universities in Mississisisisissispppiippi? St), pass offense vs great defense go with home team right? well not me this week, but only 3 pt game so... plus ask any browns fan how good that a&m offense scheme is - it suckered us into drafting Johnny football. ok, in fairness most of that is on us having a horrible front office taking direction from our crazy owner, but still...

2 pts - SDSU wins (over the fighting Fast and Furious's), how is fresno this or anytime of year? Eh, who knows, I'd like to ban non-pac14 California games from being in the picks! I mean unless Marshal Faulk Jr. is playing at SDSU I don't know and I don't care. If I was 20 single and in San Diego I wouldn't know what pigskin is! Lambskin or Latex Yes!!

1 pt - St U of NJ wins (over the he's already dead so stop trying to kill Coach Bo!), where to begin where to begin? The poor attendance, the poor play, the poor 'communication', the epic ticket promotions, the fact that most former players want nothing to do with program over feeling slighted and unappreciated? My good friend and suffering (but still staying strong with his colors) TUN fan Slackman brought interesting ? up - how would I be if bucks were in same situation (because most buckeye fans including me that bemoan struggles of the cooper years know it was bj's and draft beer compared to what the winged helmets are going through)? Well let me paint a picture - Have you ever seen a fat man with anger issues after cooking pizza with pot-butter and sprinkling acid laced red pepper flakes all over and then free-basing it? NOT GOOD NOT GOOD!! I pray it never happens, but probably why it has fascinated me so it because if it can happen there it can happen anywhere! We could have gone Mason to Zook instead of Tressel to Meyer!! Oh god where's that pizza!!

So there it is another week another rant of undecipherable goobly gook non-sense from a deranged man that is someone's father! Pray for my son, ok well send him well wishes, I'd rather the boogey man in the sky focus all his/her infinite power on keeping Ebola in Africa! What? It's where? We didn't stop daily flight's from west Africa until this was cleared up? Ohhh, thanks government! On top of things as usual!

Is there a Pulitzer prize for sarcasm? Boom goes the dynamite!!

week 5 cfb picks

Well where to begin? Thanks to a richrod's hail-mary i'm still near the top, can't believe I had a richrod team as my 9 pt game last week - must have been high!! Oh and speaking of hail-mary's, today is 20th anniversary of Colorado hail-mary vs that team up north - 20yrs, wow how those 2 programs have gone very sadly from top to bottom. I honestly think the chance of the buffs ever recovering is gone, but I think the maize and blue can still get back to what they were, but not if they miss for a third straight time on their coaching search - time will tell.

Ok, I really wanted to think of a clever way to work this in to my picks, but i'm either too tired or to dumb or likely a combination of both, but I heard this on Howard today during the news (in regard to India sending a rocket to mars when they have millions of impoverished people) and hadn't heard it in years and it's just fucking the funniest song ever!! I dare you not to listen to this and laugh!!

ok, once you can pull yourself back together, here are my picks...

10 pts - ND wins, (over the cuse) really who doesn't have this as their 10 pt game?

9 pts - Uga wins, (over the vols) I think Tenn coach has them on the right track (well the last coach covered how to wash your balls, so he can focus just on football?), but they don't have the talent yet. I mean uga has Cooper 2.0 so you never know, but Herbie keeps saying uga is still the best team in the country so....

8 pts - Baylor wins, (over the cyclones) You know part of me wanted to pick Iowa st as an upset, but then I saw they a 24 pt home dog and their big win is over the Ferentz bunch and slammed on those breaks big time.

7 pts - S Car wins, (over the tigers) Ya know the ole ball coach tried to channel his inner Lou Holtz to tell everyone just how awful his team is and how iffy he feels about their play, but you know what? THEY DIDN'T LOSE AT HOME TO FRICKING INDIANA!!

6 pts - Ok St wins, (over the red raiders) I probably should have this a little higher, but tech has pulled these kind of upsets in the past and we know those 'other' wanna be osu's can choke bigtime.

5 pts - OSU wins, (over the bearcats) speaking of choking, yes you heard right VaTech's last win was in the shoe and that was 3 games ago!! God help us!! Oh and we still don't know about our defense and our offensive line might not be um well -  lets say not exactly settled? I honestly had this down as a bearcat win (as I fear losing to an instate opponent almost more than anything) until today when I checked with Vegas and well they don't pay for all those lights by being wrong very often. Oh one last note to make your stomach churn, Urban has a losing record against only 2 coaches - Saban and you guessed it, Tuberville! Oh i'm going to vomit!!

4 pts - Indiana wins, (over the terrapins) seriously they lost to BG right and now I have them as my 4 pt win, this will come back to bite me in the ass hard!! But at least they will have that killer home field advantage!! Bigten, giving students free tickets with every 2 bottles of Coke since 2014!!

3 pts - Stanford wins, (over the huskies) I fear the former Stan coach coming back to his alma matter and I learned recently that Slackman would like the current Stan coach to come resurrect the winged helmet - either way can you just win this weekend, please?

2 pts - ASU wins, (over the bruins) damn I went back and forth trying to determine the battle of the back up qb's and if I believed Hundley would really miss the game and basically I went home field and bruins struggles early in this season to settle on the sun devils, but not very confident.

1 pt - Nevada wins, (over no way I know SJSU mascot - I have a life) sometimes I picture el prez sitting in his chair laptop fired up with an In & Out burger and a Coke laughing maniacally at the pain he causes me with these small nobody west coast school match ups! I don't know much about the losers in my own state, how am I supposed to be up to date on this game? I think in 2000 I drove through San Jose on the way to Pebble Beach and why would you go to school there if you had a choice? Eh, damn now I have to go to bed and dream of In & Out, oh well did it to myself!

Ok, there's another week in the books!! Hope the added (losing team) parenthesis helped ya'll, if I rock a 20 pt week or something i'm going back to the old format! You know cause i'm crazy stupid superstitious like that!! Now excuse me i've had to Najeh for about 10 min!

wk 4 cfb picks

I i i i i i i am sooooo close to first that i'm certain i'll go 3-7 this week, yuk the pressure the pressure, well here goes nothing (may be short this week cause I got some iOS8 to get into yo!!)

10 pts - Bama wins, this was going to be my 9pt game, but then famous jamous went and yelled "fuck her in the pussy" on campus because he's not cool enough to yell "drop a growler in her closet"!! (oh how I miss the Najeh, you will always be the best player in free shoes U). Oh yeah, um florida not going into bama and winning, not with will must-notbea-champ.

9 pts - zona wins, did I just put a richrod team as my 9 pt game, damn this is a tough week of picks! Fortunately this isn't a rivalry game, so...

8 pts - Neb wins, and now a litt!e team as my 8 pt? wtf, well they are at home and they can run the ball and heard today that the U has had 29 players in last 3 yrs that have left or been kicked off team, wow!!

7 pts - LSU wins, lsu has true freshman rb that was number 1 recruit in the country that scored his first td last week against nobody st and did the heisman, I wish his dad was Adrian Peterson! (that's 1)

6 pts - Mich wins, I mean really they have to cause I don't ever remember a mich coach getting fired midseason, but anything can happen. I guess I shouldn't be surprised if they lose as they struggled in first half against miami (oh) in the first half last week, but they just can't lose (again) to Utah at home? The season of redemption continues?

5 pts - FSU wins, well damn this was gonna be the lone no brainer this week, and then an alleged rapist thought it be funny to verbally assault multiple women in a public setting - you stay classy Tallahassee!! Wish his dad had a switches and belts room!! (that's 2)

4 pts - Pitt wins, based on last week you'd think I'd have Pitt a big favorite at home over horrible Iowa, but this is type of meaningless game after another pathetic loss that good ole coach ferentz uses to justify his never ending reign of mediocrity in the corn state. Did you know that he actually admitted that they consciously decided 4 yrs ago to not recruit Florida anymore because it wasn't worth the time/money for what little they got out of the state? Wow, well I guess brilliant coaching like that explains losing more often than not to instate rival Iowa St! Oh and it also explains why a few years ago a coach/recruiting coordinator left Iowa to go be management for Culver's! Can't make this shit up and yeah their butterburger's are good, but not that good!!

3 pts - Okla wins, if they are back to being true contenders again then they should win by 4 td, but i'm not  sure they are we will see...

2 pts - ECU wins, I would had them as a 5pt game last week vs VaTech, but this weekend they could have the let down that VaTech had last week.

1 pt - Auburn wins, you know what happens if you serve hard butter and not soft butter to Bill Snyder? He gets the switch for you and then it's beating room time!! (that's 3) Oh and Ray Rice you are still a punk ass wife beating nothing!

Ok, that was fun lets hope for a miracle and I go 10 for 10 this week and grab me a taste of first place!!

wk 3 picks

Well last week was a cluster F for the litt1e, guess getting it out of the way early is nice, takes the pressure off any real expectations? Or some bullshit like that, all I know is i'm tired of hearing coaches say we need to get more of the young guys in the game. Well put them in, is there a fucking force field on the sideline that they need a code for? Rakwon McMillian played it says 2 plays at the mike v vagoiter and he made one badass tackle for loss, um yeah that's good. Anyway enough bitching, I still love my buckeyes and I just lucked into a free ticket for saturday's 'showdown' with the golden flashes!! 23 straight years of going to at least on game, i'm a very lucky man! Go Bucks!!

Ok on to the picks... (cause i'm not out of it yet, surprisingly)

10 pts - Cincy at home scores 50+ easy and beats my wife's alma matter - thankfully she doesn't care that much, she just likes annoyingly saying Uuuuu Ttttt and flailing her arms about like Michael J. Fox on a roller coaster! (yes that jab at toledo is because I went to bgsu :-/)

9 pts - Utah St wins, just cause we played like shit and gave vatech (apparently according to their coaching staff) the school's biggest win (which is not flattering, but kind of sad that we lost to a school whose biggest win is a non-conference game not a bowl or championship game) doesn't mean the acc is good - they suck and utah st can score baby!!

8 pts - L'ville wins, I really don't know why I have this so high, but the point spread says it should be safe, damn this is type game that can bite ya in the arse.

7 pts - Mizzu wins, I know ucf is good, but they lost to we aren't on probation so everything is forgotten right? st and they are going to be really good under franklin, but not just yet.

6 pts - TCU wins, when I can say minn might be a surprise good team in litt1e and could be our hope for a 'big' win in the non-conference you can see just how shitty the conference is!

5 pts - Uga wins, dammit john copper of the sec don't you dare F me you son of a bitch or so help me god i'll pull some teeth, cash in X's college fund, drive down south with a pitch fork and start the fucking lynching myself!!

4 pts - wv wins, well yay litt1e you got another big rivalry game for everyone to get excited about, who needs sparty or winged vs domers when the non-con can bring us hill people vs hill people by the sea? yay!

3 pts  - ucla wins, please please bruins, I mean tejas got smoked last week and I know your rb knee is shredded, but dammit can your 'heisman' hopefully qb show up and play this week? please.

2 pts - distance ourself from the truth st wins, they aren't a catholic university, but damn if they didn't get the play book in ireland? time does heal all wounds, well not for the children that were allowed over and over to be molested, but for all the fans who can block that from their minds to enjoy a little 'we are' fun, eh, I hope i'm wrong on this one and soprano's st gives you a little 'fogetaboutit justice'.

1 pt - iowa wins, how they are favored by 15.5 pts is insane, i mean they regularly lose this rivalry game and didn't look to impressive last week, but hey they have magic man kirk, so what can be wrong. he is the longest tenured coach in the league. wow, so pathetic. I really hope everyone else picks them as a high point value win and then they lose and I make some points.

So there it is another one in the books, go me?!

wk 2 cfb 2014

Well week 1 picks weren't a total disaster, but - surprise surprise i'm not in first! Oh well after this week I might be in last. I must say I think this might be toughest group on games to pick in a single week.

Here goes nothing...

10 pts - I might be crazy having this as my 10 pt game, but I just don't see sparty going into Phil Knight St and beating the jersey's. Also hear it might be record temps in Oregon on Saturday and me thinks 97 will benefit Oregon's offense more than sparty's defense. If you turn on the game late and want to know how the game is going, don't look at Mark Dantonio's face!! The man should be a poker champion!!

special thanks to my wife Callie Callender for the photoshop 

work to make this awesome picture!

9 pts - Unc will win I guess, they are at home and a 2td favorite, so um yeah... Remember when Butch Davis was a brilliant coach, then went and got that Browns stank on him, then UNC and cheating now he might be dead - not sure?

8 pts - Boise St can't lose at home to the fighting Earl Bruce's can they? No way! Oh and did the first two weeks both have Colorado St games or did some pot smoke get blown towards Ohiah and i'm stoned?

7 pts - Utah wins because the Carr family has run out of qb's for fresno St? I have no idea, can I get a east coast bias handicap? Seriously I didn't even know Fresno was a state?

6 pts - Well I picked the Bucks 6th last week and I kind of feel the same way again, not super confident and on a total 'beamer ball' fear watch, but I know if I remove my fandom from my thought that we are at home and a better team. Oh and we shall know a little more about the pass defense/defense as a whole after this weekend, hopefully it is truly improved.

5 pts - Tex wins, well I was shocked to find out the buckeyes 20 yrds passing they allowed last week was good for only 3rd!! One of those ahead of them was Charlie's very Strong Longhorns, now granted it was agains North Texas (and apparently the Quantum Leap guy was injured) but come on 15yds is good no matter who your playing.

4 pts - Pitt wins, um they are a road favorite other than that I got notin

3 pts - Nevada wins, um they are a home dog against a team that lost at home to St U of NJ?

2 pts - TSUN goes into South Bend and says "oh thanks for quitting on our rivalry

 because your scured you biotches" now take your beat down!! Then Fireworks baby!! Oh wait it's not a home game, never-mind.

1 pt - I can tell you one thing for sure, if Lane had been head coach and had all the liars and racist name caller distraction that went on before the opening game the Magnum's would not have come out and looked so good on the field. I think it's time for Stanford to go back to being a school and not a football program again and I think SC is going to go up there and show them what hem hem 'student athletes' really look like at a football factory.

Well there it is the week that can put me in first or last, we shall see by sunday.

Come on, is that picture not the shit? God i'm still laughing!!

It's back!! CFB 2014 week 1

Our long national nightmare is over – ok that’s way overboard, but us diehard football fans know how long and awful the off-season can be and when game week comes it is like xmas morning all week long! Well an xmas morning where santa might show up and kick you in the balls and then spit on your dog.

Ok, how was the off-season? Well let’s see lots of hype for the buckeyes all undone by a shoulder injury? We shall see… I never count my buckeye’s out, having said that Navy’s QB is making me nervous after the debacle that was our defense last year. Hopefully we will be pulled from the ashes (get it Ashes? Oh yeah mid season lame form!!) and the silver bullets will be back and in attack mode!! Again, we shall see…

Well here goes nothing…

10 pts – Free Shoe’s U is back and cheating err winning again and will continue with a cowboy beat down!!

9 pts – Bama bama bama, when will teams learn don’t schedule bama for your opening game. Even if they aren’t great or have questions going into the season they pay better than you and nickey crouchy pants will have all off season to prepare to crush you and then if you’re a mid level wanna be like West Virgina? Gonna get ugly!

8 pts – There are some people talking about bucky badger being back? To what? Not impressed am I and frankly, Les Miles might be bat shit crazy, ok he is definitely bat shit crazy but I tell you what I’m damn glad he’s still in the bayou where bat shit crazy is celebrated and not up in Ann Arbor or Urban might very well not be 2-0 against that team up north!! (Oh LSU wins if that wasn’t clear)

7 pts – THIS IS NOT A MISPRINT, THE BRUINS ARE THE BEST FOOTBALL PROGRAM IN CALIFORNIA RIGHT NOW! Man that must make some people really happy and I’m not sure how long it will last, but for the time being they have a legit Heisman trophy candidate (Aikman anyone?) and I’m picking them to go cross country and win solidly against technically a top conference school. I mean UVA is kind of a doormat of a bad conference, but they were better last year. I’d say this is game most likely to make me look stupid, hopefully not…

6 pts -  Despite local radio guy doing his best Lou Holtz this am and making Navy’s qb sound like the next Colin Kapernick and us having a young team with a redshirt freshman qb that wasn’t supposed to play I really believe our talent overall should pull us through, we will know early cause if the defense ain’t right and our defensive line isn’t what they hyped to be, well it will be a long long long labor day weekend in Buckeye nation.

5 pts – This is why I never get in the points because N’western at home should destroy Cal, but Cal will have some never heard of QB that will come out and announce his presense in a stadium of like 12k people and the B1G will look like the joke most of the country rightfully think’s it is, hope not Go Purple Power? Or whatever they cheer.

4 pts – So the ole ball coach has three straight 11 win seasons in South Carolina for first time in school history and all those cocks think this is their year to be that team from the SEC that wins it all. HEY cock fans, the fact that your that excited over 11 win seasons with zero championships shows that you ain’t the real thing and probably won’t be but hey, 2^nd tier SEC power is still pretty good football.

3 pts – The John Cooper of the SEC better beat Clemson at home with a much better team or it might be the final straw for the fan base. I think he will, but I’m not confident, because well if they shrivel up in big moments you never know and Mark has tuck and hide cogeneses!!

2 pts – Have I mentioned I hate picking fucking Boise St games, like when they should have beat sparty at sparty and shit themselves at end of the game. Now they have no business going to the Georgia dome and beating worse education rating in the country state, so they probably will beat them by 3 touchdowns. Oh to be more specific I meant mississsssiipppii state.

1 pt – I think we have this game every year and yes it’s a rivalry and yes it’s usually a close game and tough to pick, but what the fuck do I know about these teams? Do I have an upper lip the size of a normal person’s forehead? Do I bring up the hail-Mary to Desmond every chance I get? Do I secretly masturbate to the stories Kirk has told me of his rendezvous with the yogurt helps you shit on the regs lady? Do I get paid extra for every Lee Corso sentence I can correctly translate to the viewing audience? Do I tweet about tennis just so people won’t forget about me during the off season? Do I look like I do Max Headroom cos-play at comicon? NO NO NO NO NO NO!! And if you do find Fowler, well just hug the man, he works with Desmond Howard for crying out loud!!

Ok, there it is off and running… Go Bucks!!!!

Night moves

Man it's been way too long since I wrote, but taking a little time tonight as I had a beautiful drive after a long day. 

Had to go back to office and get some work done (12.5 hr day is fun) and coming home had a flash back to the only thing I truly miss about my missed spent youth - just cruisin!! I would drive anywhere and on a warm spring/summer/fall night was the best!! Get a big drink, some grits, and tunes and blast! I'd take highways and back roads, cruise the farms and the city and the burbs. Feel the cool wind and enjoy the sounds of Ed or Jimi or Stevie or Janis or Clapton or ... Sometimes even stop the music and listen to quiet noise of the night. There is a buzz of the real soul of a town at night - those that make it run and those that live it strong. I think it's where real art thrives, inspiration can't come over coffee in the morning - coffee and mornings are for recovery and reflection on how you made it through another night. For gathering stories from those, or of those, that made the night come alive.  You might find a person worthy of a Bukowski poem during the day, but only at night will you see that poem unfold. 

I wouldn't trade my life now for anything, but it wouldn't be what it is now without the experiences of my late teens and early twenties.  My greatest wish is that I pass on to my son the love and passion of stories - making them, living them, sharing them and cherishing them. If his thoughts are art, friends, family, experiances over money, deadlines, expectations than I will have left something positive in this world. 

Kind of a great thought after a long day of pointless paper pushing. People can try to explain what a child will do to your life, but no explanation is really good enough. 

I wonder when I became kind of a hippie then I think I always was, it just took time for me to be proud of it...

BudNascar 2014 starting and a reason my posts have been down...

Not that many people read my blog, but my posts have been way down because I don't have as much time for long writing as i'd like right now and any quick thoughts or pictures I find funny in my travels have found new homes in the bowels of social media. My beloved wife took my phone a while back and just signed me up for Instagram so that i'd stop saying where'd you see that picture? And I must admit it's kind of awesome! Then on my own, ya know cause once that bitch Pandora gets out her box... I joined twitter which I did once claim to loath more than anything on earth and boy was I wrong!! It's great to follow funny people or sports stuff or tattoo stuff or pretty much anything your into (which probably means 90% of it is porn) but I like the OSU insider stuff and getting all my whack pack updates for the Howard Stern show. So that's what i've been up to...

And this Sunday my second favorite sport returns to fill my college football void with the SuperBowl of racing - The Daytona 500!! I'll be at Casa de Slack watching with my friends and rooting for the 88!! As I am again running the best fantasy sports game BudNascar, here are my picks for segment 1 - I must be on record with my picks, I wouldn't want someone to think i'm as corrupt as Francis Underwood!! (If you ain't watching House of Cards on Netflix you're missing best show since Breaking Bad)

Daytona - Jr.
Phoenix - Hamlin
Vegas - Edwards
Bristol - Kurt Busch
Cali - Kenseth
Martin - Johnson


Hope the few of you that read this are well and that the weather gets nice soon so we can get out and see each other!!