Man I was so close to winning it all this year, well Browns close, eh as we say in Ohiah... There's always next year.
So was going to sit down and pick all the games and a wise sage advisor of mine said 'hey phat ass do it week to week and just pick the first 5 games' well i'm going to heed that advise and do the first 10 games which start 12/16 and finish 12/22 and then i'll be back for more rounds through the holiday season. Here it goes...
Ray Lewis Carry them to the grave in your limousine bowl - I'm going to take Troy to win over "BLOW THE WISTLE! BLOW THE WISTLE!" N. Texas.
The thanks for the support Autonation but they have a cure and won't fucking give it to us cause the money is in the treatment bowl - ok, lost my cousin to breast cancer this year so probably shouldn't be joking about a company doing some nice pink ribbon fund raising but fuck a)i'm an asshole and b) come on now we know they are still kicking themselves on all that lost polio research clinic funding they gave away.. Anyway W kent wins over Uga State
Las Vegas no named sponsor bowl, kudos Vegas kudos for not having a sponsor all though I feel like this was sponsored by the NRA in the past and well #toosoon? #neverforus... Oregon finally beats boise st
Gildan the conqueror we make costume's so how bout some role playing ladies new mexico bowl, wait or is that another sponsor? eh, slackman will correct me if need be... i'll take fighting earl bruce's to beat 'we are' taking a bus I hope
The Raycom media cuma cuma cuma camellian bowl... m tenn st beats cigar pussy state
Boca Raton apparently the cities have decided we don't need a corp sponsor because surely people will just want to come to our fair town bowl... Fla Atlantic beats how did Akron make a bowl?
The Frisco he melted some guys face last night at the club good luck ever eating a frisco melt thanks a lot PT you fucking asshole bowl...SMU craig james was a rb beats how are they not in the boca raton tech
Bad Boy yeah if thugs made sarsaparilla it would taste like Gasparrilla bowl... FIU drugs and rapes Temple in the role reversal of the bowl season game! Hey what you put in my Gasparrilla, nothing baby I swear, now here is my pudding pop.
Bahamas 'yes we do budget for 300 condoms per player' bowl... Christ coach these guys look slow as hell today, well they've fucked every girl on the island 10 times what you expect? Um, Ohiah beats UAB cause well if ya seen Full Metal Jacket you know those UAB boys be bringing some trouser snake.
And finally the Famous (cause really what else are they famous for other than fisting Canada right between Washington and Montana) bowl... C mich beats the fighting dick cheney's, fuck that dude always!!
And there ya have it, hopefully I can first be offensive, second be funny and third be correct in my picks or as I call it Pt's 'holy trinity' Fucking, Shit and Helluva Sacknut!!
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
final week of another year of cfb picks aka another year where pt proves he don't know football like he thinks
I'm gonna say this to the football gaaawwwddds, if I win next year I will donate all my winnings to charity and by charity I do mean I will send the money to Tennessee so they can buy a clue that no top notch coach wants to go there anymore! Jon Gruden ain't coming out of retirement ever and on the .00001 percent chance he does it's not to go recruiting, he is an nfl guy. I mean Chip Kelly wouldn't even take your call and Mullet mike Gundy said 'listen I know you guys invented mullets, but why would I leave a school that worships me and is easier to get to playoffs at to go to a school where I got a crazy unrealistic fan base and have to try to out recruit satan'. The funny part is they might luck into a better coach than they deserve if they are smart and go with former qb Tee Martin, granted never been a head coach at all, but fuck is he not their Tressel hire? I mean guy bleeds orange and white, now he is a 'negro' and that fan base is probably 99% trump voters, but if they really want to win they might have to take the bed sheets off and move closer to the 21st century?
So every week since this started I do my picks like this, write the games down, circle game winners i'm positive i'm gonna pick to win and then go look up point spreads and figure out winners in other games and then last order them for confidence. Some weeks i've gone with ordering based on what would help the bucks and ordering lower what would help them out of my buckeye paranoia or the ole hedge every bet theory. If tun was ever in nat title game and it was a pick'em spread i'd bet as much money as I could get my hands on on tun cause they'd lose and i'd be happy or they'd win and i'd be rich!! I'm that kind of nut bag, sometimes, other times i've tried just going with what I believe and being more honest and yeah it hasn't helped. Anyway, that is a long way to say, this week my picks for first time ever were all favorites - every team I picked was also point spread favored to win, crazy. And yes my first instinct was to put teams that winning would hurt bucks slim chance at making the playoffs at the top so i'd get max points if they win or give of max points so they would lose. Then it occurred to me for once not to be (as the veep says) 'that buckeye fan'... I said and I meant all that matters to me is winning that game last week and I meant it! Yes I also want to win nat titles but if I got to choose winning THE game is more important and somehow (luck in qb injuries if we are being honest, O'korn christ looked like me and slack throwing the ball) they bucks moved to 15-2 post 2-10-1 era putting me at 22-16-1 in my life (1979-2017, I don't vacate wins, fuck you ncaa)
Oh side note, did you see who had 175 yds rec and was the grey cup mvp? Free tats Devier Posey!!
this also happened...
Seriously this is Shania riding a dogsled in to perform at halftime of the gray cup... let me remind you of what she used to be doing...
let's just say father time ain't ever winning father of the year from anyone
so all that is to say my picks are ordered from highest point spread as 10 pt game to lowest point spread as my 1 pt game and if crazy happens and bucks win big and get into playoffs yay, but we probably don't deserve it, it probably won't be great (like last year, well unless jt is hurt and our qb that game off bench to lead team to score on 3/4 drives and should been 4/4 drives if not for a missed fg gets to play) but i'll take whatever happens rest of the season cause we won the game that matters. The one thing I don't wanna see is a non playoff satan vs urban matchup which could happen it we win but they jump someone else in? idk, here goes the picks...
10 pt - Toledo wins, for my wife and for the fact they are a 21.5 pt favorite.
9 pt - Fau wins, 10.5 favorite nothing to say but rumors are that free shoes u coach is going to leave to go to tex a&m, huh? why?
8 pt - Clem wins, 9.5 favorite and really starting to get sick to my stomach that clem might go back to back, only loss is bad one but on road when their qb got hurt, fucking go turnover chains!!
7 pt - boise st wins, yeah after losing to this team last week they are an 8.5 favorite? ok, i guess, fuck these teams.
6 pt - ucf wins, 7 pt favorite and at home, damn that ucf/sfla game last week was crazy
5 pt - okla wins, also 7 pt favorite but neutral site vs home game for ucf so put crotch grabbers one lower
4 pt - bucks win, 6.5 pt fav, kind of hilarious how all the teams or alot of teams fan bases will be rooting for the bucks to win but barely and then be like see bigten is a joke send them home!! Well if we can win and especially if we can run on wisky (which we need to do to beat teams, wish coaches had remembered vs iowa) than rest of nation can suck it! Go Bucks!!!
3 pt - so cal wins, 3.5 pt fav, be interesting though, if i'm wrong look for frosh rb for standford to try and make one final heisman statement, I think crotch grabbing, dui running from cops dbag from okla wins, but man if he was black qb and not white could you imagine what peeps would be saying? racism is and always will be alive and strong.
2 pt - aub wins, tough to beat a team twice but faaaaaccccckkkk they steam rolled uga last time and no reason that should change
1 pt - ark st wins, 1pt favorite, go fighting lewenski's?
and my points for tiebreaker are... oh yeah you don't even need them cause i'm such a loser it's almost mathematically impossible I could get back in the money!! well fuck that, bucks win 45-10!! Go Bucks!!!
So every week since this started I do my picks like this, write the games down, circle game winners i'm positive i'm gonna pick to win and then go look up point spreads and figure out winners in other games and then last order them for confidence. Some weeks i've gone with ordering based on what would help the bucks and ordering lower what would help them out of my buckeye paranoia or the ole hedge every bet theory. If tun was ever in nat title game and it was a pick'em spread i'd bet as much money as I could get my hands on on tun cause they'd lose and i'd be happy or they'd win and i'd be rich!! I'm that kind of nut bag, sometimes, other times i've tried just going with what I believe and being more honest and yeah it hasn't helped. Anyway, that is a long way to say, this week my picks for first time ever were all favorites - every team I picked was also point spread favored to win, crazy. And yes my first instinct was to put teams that winning would hurt bucks slim chance at making the playoffs at the top so i'd get max points if they win or give of max points so they would lose. Then it occurred to me for once not to be (as the veep says) 'that buckeye fan'... I said and I meant all that matters to me is winning that game last week and I meant it! Yes I also want to win nat titles but if I got to choose winning THE game is more important and somehow (luck in qb injuries if we are being honest, O'korn christ looked like me and slack throwing the ball) they bucks moved to 15-2 post 2-10-1 era putting me at 22-16-1 in my life (1979-2017, I don't vacate wins, fuck you ncaa)
Oh side note, did you see who had 175 yds rec and was the grey cup mvp? Free tats Devier Posey!!
this also happened...
Seriously this is Shania riding a dogsled in to perform at halftime of the gray cup... let me remind you of what she used to be doing...
let's just say father time ain't ever winning father of the year from anyone
so all that is to say my picks are ordered from highest point spread as 10 pt game to lowest point spread as my 1 pt game and if crazy happens and bucks win big and get into playoffs yay, but we probably don't deserve it, it probably won't be great (like last year, well unless jt is hurt and our qb that game off bench to lead team to score on 3/4 drives and should been 4/4 drives if not for a missed fg gets to play) but i'll take whatever happens rest of the season cause we won the game that matters. The one thing I don't wanna see is a non playoff satan vs urban matchup which could happen it we win but they jump someone else in? idk, here goes the picks...
10 pt - Toledo wins, for my wife and for the fact they are a 21.5 pt favorite.
9 pt - Fau wins, 10.5 favorite nothing to say but rumors are that free shoes u coach is going to leave to go to tex a&m, huh? why?
8 pt - Clem wins, 9.5 favorite and really starting to get sick to my stomach that clem might go back to back, only loss is bad one but on road when their qb got hurt, fucking go turnover chains!!
7 pt - boise st wins, yeah after losing to this team last week they are an 8.5 favorite? ok, i guess, fuck these teams.
6 pt - ucf wins, 7 pt favorite and at home, damn that ucf/sfla game last week was crazy
5 pt - okla wins, also 7 pt favorite but neutral site vs home game for ucf so put crotch grabbers one lower
4 pt - bucks win, 6.5 pt fav, kind of hilarious how all the teams or alot of teams fan bases will be rooting for the bucks to win but barely and then be like see bigten is a joke send them home!! Well if we can win and especially if we can run on wisky (which we need to do to beat teams, wish coaches had remembered vs iowa) than rest of nation can suck it! Go Bucks!!!
3 pt - so cal wins, 3.5 pt fav, be interesting though, if i'm wrong look for frosh rb for standford to try and make one final heisman statement, I think crotch grabbing, dui running from cops dbag from okla wins, but man if he was black qb and not white could you imagine what peeps would be saying? racism is and always will be alive and strong.
2 pt - aub wins, tough to beat a team twice but faaaaaccccckkkk they steam rolled uga last time and no reason that should change
1 pt - ark st wins, 1pt favorite, go fighting lewenski's?
and my points for tiebreaker are... oh yeah you don't even need them cause i'm such a loser it's almost mathematically impossible I could get back in the money!! well fuck that, bucks win 45-10!! Go Bucks!!!
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
the only week that really matters
It's so weird now that the biggest game of the year always falls on thanksgiving weekend, well for now, you never really know when/how future schedule may change. Anyway, it's a weird crazy week of not working fully but needing to get just as much maybe even more done and getting ready to see family you see maybe once or twice a year and in most ways it helps the mentally ridiculous like me with a nice distraction to lesson the normal/past week long worrying. Having said that it is worse in one way, when you get that break and stop and think about up coming game you get that rush of nerves and worry all at once. It to me is why it is the greatest rivalry in all of sports and you are out of your goddamn mother fucking mind if you think the lopsided ness lately has lessoned anything - at least not for me. Never will, well maybe if we ever pass them in some (say it with me el prez) stats that include figures from taking trains to games era but exclude some games because of tattoo's? Eh fuck it, it is what it is for nat titles and all time wins, but I want that overall head to head record so I can look at every tun fan accept for 1 (cause he's not a asshole snob, but a great friend) and say "WE SPOTTED YOU 30 YEARS AND STILL OWN YOUR ASS" (to the clarify the 30 years is a round number that includes the first 17 or so of rivalry where we were not yet really competitive and well the other 13 years... 2-10-1)
ok, enough on that for now and on to the picks...
ok, not the picks, first a quick thought on the 23rd, it is thanksgiving for all this year but for me it's my mom's bday every year and she's a pretty awesome mom so happy bday to her. Also this year, this holiday will be the first family get together on my dad's side since my cousin Brandy passed from breast cancer this past spring, it's weird that everytime I saw her after the diagnosis till she passed it made me think where and who I was with when I found out she was seriously sick. Richmond, VA in a track waiting on a race to start with my future wife and some great friends on a great trip. I had to put it out of my mind and didn't really know how serious it was till later, but has she fought the disease for 9 years with never a real relapse but just a fighting spirit my cousin always had I was always in awe of her, RIP Brandy. Side note she and husband big Nascar fans and she got to go to Charlotte for 600 and had name on car and met I wanna say Elliot Sadler? Damn can't remember for sure, anyway I know that was a great experience for her, how some things seem to tie together will never cease to amaze me.
ok, back to being my normal stupid jackass self...
10 pt - UCF wins, man is it amazing or what the south fla at cent fla is legit more interesting game that gators/noles this weekend, way to go fla and free shoes you! pathetic
9 pt - Clem wins, I actually think and was going to pick s car to get win at home in upset but pt spread is bout 5 pts higher than it should be and them smells like vegas trying to trap some free money from degenerate gamblers because they know something nobody else does (this theory will come up again and i'm vomiting over it)
8 pt - Uga wins, fuck you gatech, fuck you duke and so help me gaaawwwdddd Uga if The John Cooper of the South wins a nat title at thug chain U... well let's just say you'll never hear the end of it.
7 pt - Aub wins, I been calling this upset for bout 3 weeks and bama barely escaped miss st two weeks ago. Put this much higher because actually bama winning out helps the long long long long long Alabama black trouser snake long hopes of the bucks making the _________ not gonna say it just fucking win this weekend.
6 pt - Wash wins, I mean they can't choke at home after the beat down last weekend can they? And apple cup is a 'rivalry' game? lame lame ass name
5 pt - LSU wins, well mora was canned last week, time for a&m to pull out the ax after this weekend
4 pt - Boise st wins, 7 pt fav at fresno? hmmm, are they good again I seriously know nothing about these teams this year. Fresno seems like it quietly one of the scariest place in America? idk maybe it's nice, just picture it as like the white gary indiana?
3 pt - Stan wins, and would have this lower but again this would greatly help the bucks but it also could get freshman rb back in Heisman race since baker 'kid rock' mayberetarded let everyone back in the race with his Michael Jackson moves. DUDE/BRAH/WOKE what ever you fucking loser kids say these days... IT WAS FUCKING KANSAS!!! Did you really want to shake their hands anyway? People in Kansas for any sport outside of bball don't strike me as a)intelligent b)clean or 7)worth pissing money and trophies away for. I mean chances they have mary jane rotten crotch finger disease is pretty fucking high!! (that's two full metal jacket ref for those counting at home)
2 pt - Vatech wins, dammit hoo's you almost had one of the great upsets ever on sat and I expect a let down this weekend but it's ok, some of us just can't hack it in 'the shit' right private cowboy? (3 or 4 depending on how you wanna count it)
1 pt - Bucks win, obviously not confident but not picking against my team. So many things to be nervous about, don't know if good young qb will be back or if we get johnny crack corn. Not sure which JT will show, which play calling will show, you just never know. The pt spread being so high is freaking me out most (see previous logic) but i'm hoping it is there because vegas knows qb will not be cleared and not because they know something about us. I will tell you this, we come out on fist possession and run bs play of 4 guys sitting in curl routes against 5 under 2 deep coverage on first play like Iowa and I might kill a trash can again!! Kidding will be at my parents and my mom can swing a frying pan like no one's business!!
To all, well to the 2 of you that this is written for, have a wonderful thanksgiving with your families!!
Oh yeah, el prez, maybe you can get oldest to switch from Oregon to UCLA if they can hire Chip Kelly? Man that fucker gotta have a going to the bank hardon with Florida and UCLA both backing up the brinks truck?
ok, enough on that for now and on to the picks...
ok, not the picks, first a quick thought on the 23rd, it is thanksgiving for all this year but for me it's my mom's bday every year and she's a pretty awesome mom so happy bday to her. Also this year, this holiday will be the first family get together on my dad's side since my cousin Brandy passed from breast cancer this past spring, it's weird that everytime I saw her after the diagnosis till she passed it made me think where and who I was with when I found out she was seriously sick. Richmond, VA in a track waiting on a race to start with my future wife and some great friends on a great trip. I had to put it out of my mind and didn't really know how serious it was till later, but has she fought the disease for 9 years with never a real relapse but just a fighting spirit my cousin always had I was always in awe of her, RIP Brandy. Side note she and husband big Nascar fans and she got to go to Charlotte for 600 and had name on car and met I wanna say Elliot Sadler? Damn can't remember for sure, anyway I know that was a great experience for her, how some things seem to tie together will never cease to amaze me.
ok, back to being my normal stupid jackass self...
10 pt - UCF wins, man is it amazing or what the south fla at cent fla is legit more interesting game that gators/noles this weekend, way to go fla and free shoes you! pathetic
9 pt - Clem wins, I actually think and was going to pick s car to get win at home in upset but pt spread is bout 5 pts higher than it should be and them smells like vegas trying to trap some free money from degenerate gamblers because they know something nobody else does (this theory will come up again and i'm vomiting over it)
8 pt - Uga wins, fuck you gatech, fuck you duke and so help me gaaawwwdddd Uga if The John Cooper of the South wins a nat title at thug chain U... well let's just say you'll never hear the end of it.
7 pt - Aub wins, I been calling this upset for bout 3 weeks and bama barely escaped miss st two weeks ago. Put this much higher because actually bama winning out helps the long long long long long Alabama black trouser snake long hopes of the bucks making the _________ not gonna say it just fucking win this weekend.
6 pt - Wash wins, I mean they can't choke at home after the beat down last weekend can they? And apple cup is a 'rivalry' game? lame lame ass name
5 pt - LSU wins, well mora was canned last week, time for a&m to pull out the ax after this weekend
4 pt - Boise st wins, 7 pt fav at fresno? hmmm, are they good again I seriously know nothing about these teams this year. Fresno seems like it quietly one of the scariest place in America? idk maybe it's nice, just picture it as like the white gary indiana?
3 pt - Stan wins, and would have this lower but again this would greatly help the bucks but it also could get freshman rb back in Heisman race since baker 'kid rock' mayberetarded let everyone back in the race with his Michael Jackson moves. DUDE/BRAH/WOKE what ever you fucking loser kids say these days... IT WAS FUCKING KANSAS!!! Did you really want to shake their hands anyway? People in Kansas for any sport outside of bball don't strike me as a)intelligent b)clean or 7)worth pissing money and trophies away for. I mean chances they have mary jane rotten crotch finger disease is pretty fucking high!! (that's two full metal jacket ref for those counting at home)
2 pt - Vatech wins, dammit hoo's you almost had one of the great upsets ever on sat and I expect a let down this weekend but it's ok, some of us just can't hack it in 'the shit' right private cowboy? (3 or 4 depending on how you wanna count it)
1 pt - Bucks win, obviously not confident but not picking against my team. So many things to be nervous about, don't know if good young qb will be back or if we get johnny crack corn. Not sure which JT will show, which play calling will show, you just never know. The pt spread being so high is freaking me out most (see previous logic) but i'm hoping it is there because vegas knows qb will not be cleared and not because they know something about us. I will tell you this, we come out on fist possession and run bs play of 4 guys sitting in curl routes against 5 under 2 deep coverage on first play like Iowa and I might kill a trash can again!! Kidding will be at my parents and my mom can swing a frying pan like no one's business!!
To all, well to the 2 of you that this is written for, have a wonderful thanksgiving with your families!!
Oh yeah, el prez, maybe you can get oldest to switch from Oregon to UCLA if they can hire Chip Kelly? Man that fucker gotta have a going to the bank hardon with Florida and UCLA both backing up the brinks truck?
Thursday, November 16, 2017
will the real slim buckeye please stand up, please stand up
Let me start again with my true feelings... the only thing that really matters each football season can still be won in 9 days from now... having said that... faaaaaccccckkkkk is this schizo team going to ever figure out to run the ball like that against everyone and if they don't Plaxico Burress themselves would (and outside shot still could) win it all? Eh, just win on the 25th!!!
ok, on to the week 12 stuff, bet tun and harbum gotta be like wtf with the scheduling. I mean the entire cfb seems to be playing sisters of the speds coffee cups and yet right before their true (even if they won't say it) rivalry game they get to go on the road to wisky? I mean from my side of the rivalry I ain't complaining that hopefully they will be in a 4q blood bath and we will have backups in second half against peace and lovie, peace and lovie not so much fighting illini.
Side note, their is a l!ttle failure I don't get, I mean indy/purdon't/nw i get why they have been/are/should be usually dogshit, but fuck illini have no reason not to be what they were most of the 90's... a really good team you don't want to play. They obviously not going to be a nat title contender, but they should be scrappy annoying Iowa/Minn like, hell even wisky like, I mean yeah stadium is shit and imagine champaigne ain't the hotbed of fun, but you can't go into chicago and start a 'no flying bullets every day and fat booty white chicks every night in champaigne' campaign? I would thing LaMental, LaCrackhead and LaDad'saquack would verbal on the spot? Wait crazy black sports dad from chi town is the williams sisters no the ball brothers. eh, you get my point.
10 pt - condoms win, sorry el prez no protection in this game, I guess it is a rivalry game so anything is possible but in theory katy perry could do a fund raiser at X school and we could hit it off and she could be tongue punching my fart box one day but it probably ain't gonna happen. I'll just hop in my motorboat and head out to fantasy island now...
9 pt - Stan wins, and hoping the win again next week against the domers er not thinking ahead just win bucks just win!!
8 pt - UCF wins, no idea, heard they are second best fla team after miami, nice season gators/seminoles
7 pt - Yale wins, can't even find a point spread for game, guess illuminate don't bet on their fellow brethren and only on the slaves er working class schools? Anyway, Yale is top of conf and Harvard is not. Go home team?
6 pt - Gatech wins, fuck you Duke bastards, i've been on the duke is better/good at football for 4 years now and this year everytime i've picked you to win you've screwed me, so now I pick you to lose to a team that is way better than you and runs a crazy offense that should shred you for 400 yds rushing don't go getting all 'lacrosse team on ugly black hooker night' excited and do something stupid like winning!!
5 pt - NW wins, pj and minn gonna find out it's hard to row a boat at a highschool stadium with grass so high Jessie Owens would look like me trying to run on it, seriously l!ttle conf is weirdest structure with 3 of top 5 stadiums (size wise atleast, pedi st is ugly as fuck) in country and then maybe 7 or so stadiums that are a straight up joke (indy, purdue, nw, illini, rutg, mary, iowa ok maybe not iowa maybe i'm bitter but it ain't great)
4 pt - Wake wins, probably second best matchup of weekend after wisky/tun, should be interesting, going home team.
3 pt - Zona wins, man richrod really thrives at a school with low expectations and coeds easier than 1st grade math, guess tun never took into acct the alumni that expect results and coeds that game to open books not their legs aspect of recruiting/winning with that hire? And easy spread is only thing wv and zona coeds will ever have in common!! talk about going from a 2 star recruit to a 10 star recruit!!
put me in coach i'm ready to play
2 pt - A&M wins, talk about a team/coach that has turned it around since a bad loss early in year vs ucla
1 pt - tun wins, that's right my full on paranoia is rising with the redshirt qb playing for steak and milk man, he is tressel ball and wants a great def (has a very good one) and a qb that will not make turnovers, can hit the big pass enough teams play honest and then to run down your throat. He hasn't had that and honestly it wasn't there and transfer qb's were a patch till he could get his own and groom it, well this guy was thrown to the fire a year earlier than what I think harbum wanted and has so far (granted bad competition) has responded well. We will find out a lot about both these teams this weekend, I just hope they beat and bruise each other a ton!!
there ya have it, wk 12 in the books.
ok, on to the week 12 stuff, bet tun and harbum gotta be like wtf with the scheduling. I mean the entire cfb seems to be playing sisters of the speds coffee cups and yet right before their true (even if they won't say it) rivalry game they get to go on the road to wisky? I mean from my side of the rivalry I ain't complaining that hopefully they will be in a 4q blood bath and we will have backups in second half against peace and lovie, peace and lovie not so much fighting illini.
Side note, their is a l!ttle failure I don't get, I mean indy/purdon't/nw i get why they have been/are/should be usually dogshit, but fuck illini have no reason not to be what they were most of the 90's... a really good team you don't want to play. They obviously not going to be a nat title contender, but they should be scrappy annoying Iowa/Minn like, hell even wisky like, I mean yeah stadium is shit and imagine champaigne ain't the hotbed of fun, but you can't go into chicago and start a 'no flying bullets every day and fat booty white chicks every night in champaigne' campaign? I would thing LaMental, LaCrackhead and LaDad'saquack would verbal on the spot? Wait crazy black sports dad from chi town is the williams sisters no the ball brothers. eh, you get my point.
10 pt - condoms win, sorry el prez no protection in this game, I guess it is a rivalry game so anything is possible but in theory katy perry could do a fund raiser at X school and we could hit it off and she could be tongue punching my fart box one day but it probably ain't gonna happen. I'll just hop in my motorboat and head out to fantasy island now...
9 pt - Stan wins, and hoping the win again next week against the domers er not thinking ahead just win bucks just win!!
8 pt - UCF wins, no idea, heard they are second best fla team after miami, nice season gators/seminoles
7 pt - Yale wins, can't even find a point spread for game, guess illuminate don't bet on their fellow brethren and only on the slaves er working class schools? Anyway, Yale is top of conf and Harvard is not. Go home team?
6 pt - Gatech wins, fuck you Duke bastards, i've been on the duke is better/good at football for 4 years now and this year everytime i've picked you to win you've screwed me, so now I pick you to lose to a team that is way better than you and runs a crazy offense that should shred you for 400 yds rushing don't go getting all 'lacrosse team on ugly black hooker night' excited and do something stupid like winning!!
5 pt - NW wins, pj and minn gonna find out it's hard to row a boat at a highschool stadium with grass so high Jessie Owens would look like me trying to run on it, seriously l!ttle conf is weirdest structure with 3 of top 5 stadiums (size wise atleast, pedi st is ugly as fuck) in country and then maybe 7 or so stadiums that are a straight up joke (indy, purdue, nw, illini, rutg, mary, iowa ok maybe not iowa maybe i'm bitter but it ain't great)
4 pt - Wake wins, probably second best matchup of weekend after wisky/tun, should be interesting, going home team.
3 pt - Zona wins, man richrod really thrives at a school with low expectations and coeds easier than 1st grade math, guess tun never took into acct the alumni that expect results and coeds that game to open books not their legs aspect of recruiting/winning with that hire? And easy spread is only thing wv and zona coeds will ever have in common!! talk about going from a 2 star recruit to a 10 star recruit!!
put me in coach i'm ready to play
2 pt - A&M wins, talk about a team/coach that has turned it around since a bad loss early in year vs ucla
1 pt - tun wins, that's right my full on paranoia is rising with the redshirt qb playing for steak and milk man, he is tressel ball and wants a great def (has a very good one) and a qb that will not make turnovers, can hit the big pass enough teams play honest and then to run down your throat. He hasn't had that and honestly it wasn't there and transfer qb's were a patch till he could get his own and groom it, well this guy was thrown to the fire a year earlier than what I think harbum wanted and has so far (granted bad competition) has responded well. We will find out a lot about both these teams this weekend, I just hope they beat and bruise each other a ton!!
there ya have it, wk 12 in the books.
Thursday, November 9, 2017
karma is a bitch
Ya know coping 101 is to make jokes, well for some, for me it's always been the go to... I mean sometimes I wanna get a gun and 'voice' my displeasure in different ways but all that does is hurt innocent people and cures nothing. Jokes don't really cure anything but like the sweet sweet 2 min of bliss a grit or a slit provides it's a pretty nice way to pause the pain. On the downside when ones sense of humor is dark or mean or lazy (aka directed at the easiest target to get the biggest laughs for like minded friends) it often comes back to bite you rite in the ass!! First goiter gate of 2014 and this year An Idiot (not) Abroad (but in cornfields going 8-4 every year and collecting own all of iowa money) flat skull fucking your favorite team like a bang bro does a 5ft 101lb 18yr old farm girl straight off the greyhound that thought she was lucky for avoiding Pauly Shore only to find her self trying to breath through her nose and discovering so cal uses steroid semen as Pepto-Bismol!
What really is still pissing me off is I knew an upset was coming and a) I didn't have the balls to pick it and atleast get the points b) knew something fishy was up with the point spread being so high on road and c) (and probably most annoying) how i'm not winning cfb picks when all these other people just threw the bucks up as there 10pt winner and probably some (i'm thinking of a few people specifically I know) groused about why this game was even in the picks with such a high point spread. I mean fuck by now peeps should know that point spreads and college sports are fucked. Clemson has gone back to clemsoning this season with Cuse lose, in fact there is one soulless devil worshiper in cfb that is immune to the fact these are 18-22 yr old kids that 70% (of the stars not the backups or grade point avg helpers) wouldn't have grad high school forget gone to college. That is happy 666 Sab(t)an! Every coach, program, etc just has loses (bad ones) and fails to play up to potential 90% of the time. I mean thing about it, Bucks are probably the 3rd most successful program in national championships since start of BCS and they have 2!! 2 for 4 in almost 20 years. Here are the 19 champions since the first BCS nat title winner through last seasons winner.. (by championships won)
Bama - 4 (all Saban)
Bucks - 2 (one tress one urban)
FSU - 2 (one bobby b and one 'hey remember you wanted me over bobby b')
LSU - 2 (note 1 was satan and 1 was satan's players with the mad hatter at the helm)
Fla - 2 (both Urban)
USC - 1 (all petey's success they got over once and it has * by it/ncaa doesn't recognize)
Okla - 1 (stoopes don't call me cooper win)
Aub - 1 (oh fsu if you'd just paid cam's daddy you'd have 3, you learned with f them in the p)
Clem - 1 (hopefully never again, but shitty part is I like dabo and think he'll keep winning - fuck)
Miami - 1 (hahahahaha U fans, fuck you and the 8k people that go to your games)
Tenn - 1 (yes, tenn won the first ever BCS title in 1998, tenn a school that now is a joke and keeps hiring joke coaches is shower etiq papers, is Fulmer alive? does he want to try again?)
And yes I put bucks as top of 2 win teams because of their appearances/losses games and because i'm a buckeye fan. I mean 4 title games and a semi final game and 2 wins and people are sky is falling. I said it all along and say it again, love JT and he is very good and we can win a lot of games, he is NOT a nat champ qb and frankly if not for an amazing 4th q we'd have 3 losses this year. Spoiler alert, I might not be picking them this week? Also, can we get Fickel back as def co cord mid season? I mean his head coaching stint is off to as bad a start as I predicted and he is a really really good def cord/lb coach. Fuck our lb's look bad and clearly miss having him around.
I love my bucks, always have always will and i'll say it again, the only thing I care about winning every year is still there to win (although I fear injury and actually seeing o'dipshit play has led steak and milk to break his freshman don't play rule and they may have a qb so i'm shitting myself) just beat that cesspool up north!! Go Bucks!!
And finally to (as slack puts it) "that" type of THE fan, fucking stop with the has Meyer lost it, schiano never really was ever good sky is falling stuff. Was that beat down ugly and unacceptable? YES!! Did these guys forget how to coach, play, run, tackle completely? No! I fear another loss or 2 this season and a major disappointment, but I believe we can win out also, win a l!ttle championship and win the game that matters, so Go Fucking Bucks and you can hop of the bandwagon anytime you want!!
One last bit of 'stats' sorry el prez before this weeks picks, as I fear another Sparty v Bucky champ game, lets take a look at WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE BIG 2 AND LITTLE 10/11/12...
In the 6 l1ttle champ games so far hear is the mind blowing break down...
Wins, 2 wisky, 2 sparty, 1 bucks and 1 pedi st
Appearances, 4 wisky, 3 sparty, 2 osu, 1 neb/iowa/pedi st
Note 2012 would been bucks v neb if not for our self imposed moron ban (pre realignment) and I know for a fact we would have won and played ND and probably won nat champ we didn't deserve and really piss off bama fans that season (rightfully so, neither nd or bucks or anyone was in same class as that bama team) but it was it was.
Ok, that's it for STATS!! Man I love looking at stats and picturing face of el prez as he reads them (well ok, he probably skips them, but it is fascinating to look back and go really, wow that did happen, what were people thinking? I mean no way Microsoft Zune was going to catch on)
This weeks picks...
10 pt - Bama, Satan gonna Satan
9 pt - tun, I listed this thinking it would be close, could still be, but if tun wins or more correctly scores big with red shirt freshman qb putting up nice numbers again, start buckeye nation diamond mines!!
8 pt - Okla, boomer sooner gonna get to playoffs me think and then find out what happens to baker interception field against satan
7 pt - ND, should be convicts beat if not for football convicts in the Sandusky vs Scarface bowl
6 pt - K st, soft butter and the shady side of the plane!!
5 pt - aub, and if they do will I be leaning towards picking War Falcon in the iron bowl?... time will tell...
4 pt - Stan, hoping wash does, want this freshman rb Heisman hopes officially dead!!
3 pt - Sparty, go look up video of droopy dogs face when asked his thought's of bucks being 16 pt fav against his team after losing by 31 and his team coming off win over pedi st! hint, he smiled that Senator Tressel-tine empire strikes back smile of 'yeah, really ok, well we'll play def, run the ball and see what happens' 16 pts? fuck you vegas, hope you are right and hope we remember that are rb's are kind of good... fuck dobbins had 6 carries for 51 yds vs iowa, yeah why give a guy avg 8.5yds a carry in game and like 6 a carry on season 20 touches in a game? why? fuck
2 pt - so cal, last min switch, had colo but got cold feet
1 pt - iowa st, man def vs off, see which wins out, if ok st scores 50, qb should go to NY for Heisman shot this year
so there it is another rambling diatribe of evidence er stupidity, I love ya bucks, could you please pull your heads out of your ass by 25/11 please!!!
What really is still pissing me off is I knew an upset was coming and a) I didn't have the balls to pick it and atleast get the points b) knew something fishy was up with the point spread being so high on road and c) (and probably most annoying) how i'm not winning cfb picks when all these other people just threw the bucks up as there 10pt winner and probably some (i'm thinking of a few people specifically I know) groused about why this game was even in the picks with such a high point spread. I mean fuck by now peeps should know that point spreads and college sports are fucked. Clemson has gone back to clemsoning this season with Cuse lose, in fact there is one soulless devil worshiper in cfb that is immune to the fact these are 18-22 yr old kids that 70% (of the stars not the backups or grade point avg helpers) wouldn't have grad high school forget gone to college. That is happy 666 Sab(t)an! Every coach, program, etc just has loses (bad ones) and fails to play up to potential 90% of the time. I mean thing about it, Bucks are probably the 3rd most successful program in national championships since start of BCS and they have 2!! 2 for 4 in almost 20 years. Here are the 19 champions since the first BCS nat title winner through last seasons winner.. (by championships won)
Bama - 4 (all Saban)
Bucks - 2 (one tress one urban)
FSU - 2 (one bobby b and one 'hey remember you wanted me over bobby b')
LSU - 2 (note 1 was satan and 1 was satan's players with the mad hatter at the helm)
Fla - 2 (both Urban)
USC - 1 (all petey's success they got over once and it has * by it/ncaa doesn't recognize)
Okla - 1 (stoopes don't call me cooper win)
Aub - 1 (oh fsu if you'd just paid cam's daddy you'd have 3, you learned with f them in the p)
Clem - 1 (hopefully never again, but shitty part is I like dabo and think he'll keep winning - fuck)
Miami - 1 (hahahahaha U fans, fuck you and the 8k people that go to your games)
Tenn - 1 (yes, tenn won the first ever BCS title in 1998, tenn a school that now is a joke and keeps hiring joke coaches is shower etiq papers, is Fulmer alive? does he want to try again?)
And yes I put bucks as top of 2 win teams because of their appearances/losses games and because i'm a buckeye fan. I mean 4 title games and a semi final game and 2 wins and people are sky is falling. I said it all along and say it again, love JT and he is very good and we can win a lot of games, he is NOT a nat champ qb and frankly if not for an amazing 4th q we'd have 3 losses this year. Spoiler alert, I might not be picking them this week? Also, can we get Fickel back as def co cord mid season? I mean his head coaching stint is off to as bad a start as I predicted and he is a really really good def cord/lb coach. Fuck our lb's look bad and clearly miss having him around.
I love my bucks, always have always will and i'll say it again, the only thing I care about winning every year is still there to win (although I fear injury and actually seeing o'dipshit play has led steak and milk to break his freshman don't play rule and they may have a qb so i'm shitting myself) just beat that cesspool up north!! Go Bucks!!
And finally to (as slack puts it) "that" type of THE fan, fucking stop with the has Meyer lost it, schiano never really was ever good sky is falling stuff. Was that beat down ugly and unacceptable? YES!! Did these guys forget how to coach, play, run, tackle completely? No! I fear another loss or 2 this season and a major disappointment, but I believe we can win out also, win a l!ttle championship and win the game that matters, so Go Fucking Bucks and you can hop of the bandwagon anytime you want!!
One last bit of 'stats' sorry el prez before this weeks picks, as I fear another Sparty v Bucky champ game, lets take a look at WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE BIG 2 AND LITTLE 10/11/12...
In the 6 l1ttle champ games so far hear is the mind blowing break down...
Wins, 2 wisky, 2 sparty, 1 bucks and 1 pedi st
Appearances, 4 wisky, 3 sparty, 2 osu, 1 neb/iowa/pedi st
Note 2012 would been bucks v neb if not for our self imposed moron ban (pre realignment) and I know for a fact we would have won and played ND and probably won nat champ we didn't deserve and really piss off bama fans that season (rightfully so, neither nd or bucks or anyone was in same class as that bama team) but it was it was.
Ok, that's it for STATS!! Man I love looking at stats and picturing face of el prez as he reads them (well ok, he probably skips them, but it is fascinating to look back and go really, wow that did happen, what were people thinking? I mean no way Microsoft Zune was going to catch on)
This weeks picks...
10 pt - Bama, Satan gonna Satan
9 pt - tun, I listed this thinking it would be close, could still be, but if tun wins or more correctly scores big with red shirt freshman qb putting up nice numbers again, start buckeye nation diamond mines!!
8 pt - Okla, boomer sooner gonna get to playoffs me think and then find out what happens to baker interception field against satan
7 pt - ND, should be convicts beat if not for football convicts in the Sandusky vs Scarface bowl
6 pt - K st, soft butter and the shady side of the plane!!
5 pt - aub, and if they do will I be leaning towards picking War Falcon in the iron bowl?... time will tell...
4 pt - Stan, hoping wash does, want this freshman rb Heisman hopes officially dead!!
3 pt - Sparty, go look up video of droopy dogs face when asked his thought's of bucks being 16 pt fav against his team after losing by 31 and his team coming off win over pedi st! hint, he smiled that Senator Tressel-tine empire strikes back smile of 'yeah, really ok, well we'll play def, run the ball and see what happens' 16 pts? fuck you vegas, hope you are right and hope we remember that are rb's are kind of good... fuck dobbins had 6 carries for 51 yds vs iowa, yeah why give a guy avg 8.5yds a carry in game and like 6 a carry on season 20 touches in a game? why? fuck
2 pt - so cal, last min switch, had colo but got cold feet
1 pt - iowa st, man def vs off, see which wins out, if ok st scores 50, qb should go to NY for Heisman shot this year
so there it is another rambling diatribe of evidence er stupidity, I love ya bucks, could you please pull your heads out of your ass by 25/11 please!!!
Thursday, November 2, 2017
wk 10 2017 picks...what????
Well it's officially been over a year since I blogged anything, guess i've just been schlecking around and not writing down my stupidity. How lazy of me, welp time for an old school 60 misspelled illogical words per minute diatribe of non sense!!
So probably more likely to finish in the basement than win cfb but i'm not gonna beat myself up because really difference between first and last is like 6 points a week which is not bad it just adds up. Also interestingly after week 4 I was curious and went back (because i'm a degenerate gambler) and realized if you put in spread i'd be in second and i think 2pts out of first. I know pt spreads would not be liked by 99% of people in league, but really it is how real gambling works. ok enough recapping, on to the picks!!!
But no!! First bonus picks...
i'm gonna say fighting richrods go into so cal and beat the trojans!!
Bama has a closer than expected win over fighting ed orangatangues
Sparty beats pedi st at home and hurts bucks strength of schedule
wash hammers stand at home ending freshman rb at stand heisman campaign this year
and lastly iowa st beats another ranked opponent with upset of wv on the road
ok, for real now on the picks...
10 - ND wins, domer fan should be happy with Kelly I think the best those unrealistic fans can hope for now is to be really good every 3/4 years, i just don't see recruiting top talent there to be bama or osu good year in and year out. this year he has older team good defense and found a couple stud rb's. will be interesting to see if they win out who gets the shaft, them or multiple league champs from pac or big or little or acc? Really ND should cancel out acc champ if they win out as they basically are in acc
9 - Aub wins, so could aub be the come out of no where upset bama at home thanksgiving and have bama fans screaming when they don't get in the playoff's? we can dream, on and unhappy bday this past week to Satan who turned 66(6)
8 - ucf wins, 14.5 pt road favorite with two teams that probably draw 25k fans per game? idk i'll go with the favorite
7 - clem wins, the cfb committee is hilarious saying we do this week to week based on feelings blah blah blah, you do picks during season to get people talking and make news, no fucking way the think uga is better than bama and yeah oklahome should be ahead of the bucks, but no fucking way if clemson wasn't defending national champs would they be ahead of bucks, or anyone else in top 9 after a lose to the 2017 Syracuse orangemen!! I hope i'm wrong and nc st destroys them
6 - bucks win, not sure why I have this so high, but the point spread and other games say it should be this high or higher but fuck that shit hole stadium is a fucking tough place to go play, christ in november it is practically a suicide risk in the dull gray flat awfulness!! iowa is the horny a cup woman of cfb, i mean you'll go there and give it your best but even if you win/finish it's not going to be very exciting (not sorry small tit girls, blame gaaawwwwdddd not me, men love titties!!)
5 - utah wins, having a really good qb in nfl very important, in cfb YOU NEED A DEFENSE sorry bruins, gonna be starting all over with coach staff and players come this post season
4 - Uuuuuuuuu T wins, for my wife again I know nothing about these teams, their seasons, nor should I...
3 - tcu win, been picking tejas to pull upset for a few weeks now and this is week they finally will when i don't pick them, but can't make the pick on the road against team coming off upset
2 - ok st wins, man I went back and forth, wanted to pick okla cause it hurt/helps the bucks. i'm fully and always will be in the bucks win out and it doesn't matter they'll get in but this year could play out exception with ND being good and if uga/bama champ game is undefeated teams. The first four this week of bama/uga and nd/clem was a message of yes we will shut out 3 of power 5 league champs if best 4 are that much better.
1 - miami wins, vatech is a road fav at an undefeated U? wow, that is some we still don't believe the john cooper of the south has changed his big game abilities yet, i mean they beat fsu at fsu right? man, fsu fans gonna find out f her in the P is that hillbilly coaches vince young, if only coop had found his vince young and got over once how would he be viewed differently?
So there it is, stupidity in writing, probably back to rambling voice next week...
So probably more likely to finish in the basement than win cfb but i'm not gonna beat myself up because really difference between first and last is like 6 points a week which is not bad it just adds up. Also interestingly after week 4 I was curious and went back (because i'm a degenerate gambler) and realized if you put in spread i'd be in second and i think 2pts out of first. I know pt spreads would not be liked by 99% of people in league, but really it is how real gambling works. ok enough recapping, on to the picks!!!
But no!! First bonus picks...
i'm gonna say fighting richrods go into so cal and beat the trojans!!
Bama has a closer than expected win over fighting ed orangatangues
Sparty beats pedi st at home and hurts bucks strength of schedule
wash hammers stand at home ending freshman rb at stand heisman campaign this year
and lastly iowa st beats another ranked opponent with upset of wv on the road
ok, for real now on the picks...
10 - ND wins, domer fan should be happy with Kelly I think the best those unrealistic fans can hope for now is to be really good every 3/4 years, i just don't see recruiting top talent there to be bama or osu good year in and year out. this year he has older team good defense and found a couple stud rb's. will be interesting to see if they win out who gets the shaft, them or multiple league champs from pac or big or little or acc? Really ND should cancel out acc champ if they win out as they basically are in acc
9 - Aub wins, so could aub be the come out of no where upset bama at home thanksgiving and have bama fans screaming when they don't get in the playoff's? we can dream, on and unhappy bday this past week to Satan who turned 66(6)
8 - ucf wins, 14.5 pt road favorite with two teams that probably draw 25k fans per game? idk i'll go with the favorite
7 - clem wins, the cfb committee is hilarious saying we do this week to week based on feelings blah blah blah, you do picks during season to get people talking and make news, no fucking way the think uga is better than bama and yeah oklahome should be ahead of the bucks, but no fucking way if clemson wasn't defending national champs would they be ahead of bucks, or anyone else in top 9 after a lose to the 2017 Syracuse orangemen!! I hope i'm wrong and nc st destroys them
6 - bucks win, not sure why I have this so high, but the point spread and other games say it should be this high or higher but fuck that shit hole stadium is a fucking tough place to go play, christ in november it is practically a suicide risk in the dull gray flat awfulness!! iowa is the horny a cup woman of cfb, i mean you'll go there and give it your best but even if you win/finish it's not going to be very exciting (not sorry small tit girls, blame gaaawwwwdddd not me, men love titties!!)
5 - utah wins, having a really good qb in nfl very important, in cfb YOU NEED A DEFENSE sorry bruins, gonna be starting all over with coach staff and players come this post season
4 - Uuuuuuuuu T wins, for my wife again I know nothing about these teams, their seasons, nor should I...
3 - tcu win, been picking tejas to pull upset for a few weeks now and this is week they finally will when i don't pick them, but can't make the pick on the road against team coming off upset
2 - ok st wins, man I went back and forth, wanted to pick okla cause it hurt/helps the bucks. i'm fully and always will be in the bucks win out and it doesn't matter they'll get in but this year could play out exception with ND being good and if uga/bama champ game is undefeated teams. The first four this week of bama/uga and nd/clem was a message of yes we will shut out 3 of power 5 league champs if best 4 are that much better.
1 - miami wins, vatech is a road fav at an undefeated U? wow, that is some we still don't believe the john cooper of the south has changed his big game abilities yet, i mean they beat fsu at fsu right? man, fsu fans gonna find out f her in the P is that hillbilly coaches vince young, if only coop had found his vince young and got over once how would he be viewed differently?
So there it is, stupidity in writing, probably back to rambling voice next week...
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