Where to start where to start, well I haven’t blogged shit
since the last week of the cfb 2014 regular season/conf championship games? Damn I’m either lazy, busy or uninspired? Probably all 3 at some point, real
truth is working in front of computer all day makes coming home and getting on
computer not that much fun and playing with a 2/3 yr old is fun – well when they
aren’t being a shit head.
Sad truth is lately I’ve been trying to figure out the
Trump Trivia Challenge – when he says he’s going to get rid of all the
illegals, does he mean Mexicans (like most racist conservatives) or any Non
Native American’s (because he secretly does have a knowledge of history)? I
mean I’m not sure where they’d send me, but Christ my liver and stomach ain’t
ready for warm beer and sheep stomach stew (remember ladies, the kilt is just
about speed in a time of shitting need).
EL PREZ
THIS IS WHERE THE POLITICS ENDS, SKIP TO HERE!!!
Shit I thought I was pretty creative with my ‘what if’
scenario for the first ever playoff in college football, but proof that life is
always stranger than fiction need look no further for the best example I can
remember in my sports history! The 2002 team will always be special beyond any
other because it popped my cherry after way to many sluty teases that never put
out in my teen years (yes I’m talking football still). And like most people it
was sloppy, not pretty and all over the place, but it got done and after that
little taste you only wanted more!! (not bad enough to be Cosby’in chicks but
pretty bad). Then you almost get the super model on vacation in Italy (2006)
but she has that one drink too many before you leave and you end up with blue
balls and vomit all over your shoes. Then the next year you accidentally end up
in the wrong room at a frat party with the hot easy Tri Pi that thinks you’re
her boyfriend and wants some, only to finish in your pants the second she takes
her top off and you just say sorry and leave the room. Then you quit trying for
awhile or just concentrate on the 5 two’s are a 10 rule. But one day, swagger
comes into your life through chance or timing or enough tattoo’s that people
know not to get in your way? Anyhow, you got all it takes and you start
thinking I got a plan to go get me a real winner, then the first girl you talk
to smacks you in the face, but this is the new you and on you go, make some
moves looking good avoiding ‘the friend’ and swatting away any “I’m just here
to relax” lines and don’t you know it if you don’t bump into a straight out 10
– a LA to NY runway 10 and she’s got the Long Island Ice Tea smile (Saban) so
you take your shot and raw dawg that up and down with everything you’ve ever
learned from the internet till she’s back in ma and pa’s trailer with a fly net
helmet and a look like how’d that happen!! Then all that is left to do is light
up a grit and smoke some duck and enjoy the most full filling season in Buckeye
history!! (I’m not sure any of that made sense, but shit I’m almost in tears of
joy writing it – cause it happened and to cap teeth tan boy non-the less!!)
Ok, my playoff pics for bonus points –
Ohis St – I mean come on, I’m not saying this is a shoe in
like rest of the country, but it is the most likely coming of last year with
our talent and our schedule.
TCU – I’ve seen trendy pick is Oklahoma, but man Stoopes get
a lot of passes on kind of Coopering some teams in to mediocrity because he got
over in 2000. I don’t know, kind of think that Boykin kid will just be more
unstoppable than he was last year.
Bama – look we got over on Nikki last year and it was great,
but we are doing it cause Urban recruits on level of Nikki and Bama ain’t gonna
disappear because of a “bad” season where they “only” went to the playoff
semi’s. Listen I hope I’m wrong on this one and they go down wk 1 to B1G and
wisky, but they won’t and I kind of don’t want them to cause I like the Bucks
being the only on in the L1ttle that can keep up with the SEC. I mean in life
Gordon Gecko’s are dicks, but in sports – Fuck Yeah Greed is Good!! Someone
should tell the fucking Browns!! Or they can just keep visiting the trophies on
the annual trip to three rivers to get beat down by Rapelisburger.
FSU – Ole baseball adage is ‘if you ain’t cheatin, you ain’t
tryin’, well my football version is if you ain’t got a few thugs you ain’t got
lots of talent. Free Shoe’s U understands this more than most and Jimbo still
got him loads of Crab Legs are better when they’re free talent, plus a guy who
took ND to the championship game a mere 3 seasons ago before well cheating- I
mean fuck he ought be perfect in the south right?
So on to week 1…
10 pt win, Bama – now I lied to a few people and said this
was going to be the fighting Harbum’s for the win at 10 because I
believe/fear/respect that as bat shit crazy as he is, he WILL turn that program
around and sooner than most think (that defense is actually pretty loaded, just
the offense is a question because Hoke must have ate any good qb’s they
recruited?), but I could not make them my 10 pt winner for wk 1 on the road,
just because I fear what he will be able to do in the future. I still will have
them as upset pick, but in a more Vegas minded manner. As for Bama, see
what they’ve done in these type of games previously and throw in that wisky has
new coach, lost stud rb and bama has got to be butt hurt cranky over last
season.
9 pt win, tcu – I’ll likely be cursing defending B1G coach
of the year (no I will not get over buckeye coaches getting snubbed for that
meaningless award, I want to win even the shitty awards – fuck Kirk Ferentz)
when they pull the biggest early season win the l1ttle has had in a long time,
but I really don’t think so and nobody else does.
8 pt win, boise st – how in the name of Napoleon Kauffman
can the huskies not get it turned around? Beats me? Why won’t Boise St go away?
Wish that Peterson dude would get hired by a pac 22 (or however many teams they
have now) school like uw and kill two birds with one stone.
7 pt win, Auburn – Was real close to picking them in my
playoff 4 instead of bama with home field for the Iron bowl this year, but not
sold on their defense being ready for SEC yet.
6 pt win, ucla – they better, I mean the hooves gonna be
tired from whatever the medical term is for pussy chasing exhaustion by kickoff in
westwood.
5 pt win, Stanford – Speilman said on radio this week he was
picking the tree’s to make the playoff’s this year, I know Will Smith has
moving coming out about the concussion doctor trying to find test for whatever
that brain damage stuff is that makes some former football players cliff dive
without parachutes and stuff, but shit picking Stanford might be the first
sign? Or he is a genius, only time will tell.
4 pt win, ND – thought about them in playoff, but schedule
is hard and until I see their QB play mistake free, just not sure. Now if they
can get the talent at qb to play mistake free then watch out they will
definitely have a shot at running the regular season, Kelly has recruited very
well.
3 pt win, Nebraska – Just getting rid of Special Needs Opie
Griffith ought make them better right? How’d a guy that coached up those LSU
defense’s forget everything he ever knew about defense just because he became a
head coach?
2 pt win, Asu – Again a former buckeye with a head scratcher
as Herbie put the Sun Devils in his playoff 4 this year, Did Jake the Snake get
another year of eligibility?
1 pt win, That Bum Up North – I mean logically I know that
them being better/good is better/good for us (especially if we still beat
them), but I’m sorry I still need 10 years of whopping to get healed from my
Cooper years and work on a nice in my lifetime record cushioning. My biggest
concern is unlike the pro’s where you can coach guys for 10 or more years, in
college Jim’s antics aren’t going to wear thin, because by time a player matures enough
to not need that intensity they leave and new blood arrives. I can only hope
his desire to win what his brother already has pulls him back to the NFL
someday. In the mean time, I think Sparty, Pedi St, wisky and the not so black
shirts should be on notice – The Big 2 and Little 8 (well 12 I guess) is being
reborn circa 2015 (ok well probably starting next yr, cause I’m not sure even
Harbum can whip Shane Morris or whomever into a championship qb).
Well crap, someone get that girl a warm towel and he’s not
that ugly pep talk, cause I’m finished and that was fun/messy!!
Hoping this is the year my picks go JT and Cardale, just
keeping me close till the end when I can shine on the big stage!!
Go Bucks!!
