Wk 1 cfb 2015 picks!!

Where to start where to start, well I haven’t blogged shit since the last week of the cfb 2014 regular season/conf championship games? Damn I’m either lazy, busy or uninspired? Probably all 3 at some point, real truth is working in front of computer all day makes coming home and getting on computer not that much fun and playing with a 2/3 yr old is fun – well when they aren’t being a shit head. 

Sad truth is lately I’ve been trying to figure out the Trump Trivia Challenge – when he says he’s going to get rid of all the illegals, does he mean Mexicans (like most racist conservatives) or any Non Native American’s (because he secretly does have a knowledge of history)? I mean I’m not sure where they’d send me, but Christ my liver and stomach ain’t ready for warm beer and sheep stomach stew (remember ladies, the kilt is just about speed in a time of shitting need).

            EL PREZ THIS IS WHERE THE POLITICS ENDS, SKIP TO HERE!!!

Shit I thought I was pretty creative with my ‘what if’ scenario for the first ever playoff in college football, but proof that life is always stranger than fiction need look no further for the best example I can remember in my sports history! The 2002 team will always be special beyond any other because it popped my cherry after way to many sluty teases that never put out in my teen years (yes I’m talking football still). And like most people it was sloppy, not pretty and all over the place, but it got done and after that little taste you only wanted more!! (not bad enough to be Cosby’in chicks but pretty bad). Then you almost get the super model on vacation in Italy (2006) but she has that one drink too many before you leave and you end up with blue balls and vomit all over your shoes. Then the next year you accidentally end up in the wrong room at a frat party with the hot easy Tri Pi that thinks you’re her boyfriend and wants some, only to finish in your pants the second she takes her top off and you just say sorry and leave the room. Then you quit trying for awhile or just concentrate on the 5 two’s are a 10 rule. But one day, swagger comes into your life through chance or timing or enough tattoo’s that people know not to get in your way? Anyhow, you got all it takes and you start thinking I got a plan to go get me a real winner, then the first girl you talk to smacks you in the face, but this is the new you and on you go, make some moves looking good avoiding ‘the friend’ and swatting away any “I’m just here to relax” lines and don’t you know it if you don’t bump into a straight out 10 – a LA to NY runway 10 and she’s got the Long Island Ice Tea smile (Saban) so you take your shot and raw dawg that up and down with everything you’ve ever learned from the internet till she’s back in ma and pa’s trailer with a fly net helmet and a look like how’d that happen!! Then all that is left to do is light up a grit and smoke some duck and enjoy the most full filling season in Buckeye history!! (I’m not sure any of that made sense, but shit I’m almost in tears of joy writing it – cause it happened and to cap teeth tan boy non-the less!!)

Ok, my playoff pics for bonus points –

Ohis St – I mean come on, I’m not saying this is a shoe in like rest of the country, but it is the most likely coming of last year with our talent and our schedule.

TCU – I’ve seen trendy pick is Oklahoma, but man Stoopes get a lot of passes on kind of Coopering some teams in to mediocrity because he got over in 2000. I don’t know, kind of think that Boykin kid will just be more unstoppable than he was last year.

Bama – look we got over on Nikki last year and it was great, but we are doing it cause Urban recruits on level of Nikki and Bama ain’t gonna disappear because of a “bad” season where they “only” went to the playoff semi’s. Listen I hope I’m wrong on this one and they go down wk 1 to B1G and wisky, but they won’t and I kind of don’t want them to cause I like the Bucks being the only on in the L1ttle that can keep up with the SEC. I mean in life Gordon Gecko’s are dicks, but in sports – Fuck Yeah Greed is Good!! Someone should tell the fucking Browns!! Or they can just keep visiting the trophies on the annual trip to three rivers to get beat down by Rapelisburger.

FSU – Ole baseball adage is ‘if you ain’t cheatin, you ain’t tryin’, well my football version is if you ain’t got a few thugs you ain’t got lots of talent. Free Shoe’s U understands this more than most and Jimbo still got him loads of Crab Legs are better when they’re free talent, plus a guy who took ND to the championship game a mere 3 seasons ago before well cheating- I mean fuck he ought be perfect in the south right?

So on to week 1…

10 pt win, Bama – now I lied to a few people and said this was going to be the fighting Harbum’s for the win at 10 because I believe/fear/respect that as bat shit crazy as he is, he WILL turn that program around and sooner than most think (that defense is actually pretty loaded, just the offense is a question because Hoke must have ate any good qb’s they recruited?), but I could not make them my 10 pt winner for wk 1 on the road, just because I fear what he will be able to do in the future. I still will have them as upset pick, but in a more Vegas minded manner. As for Bama,  see what they’ve done in these type of games previously and throw in that wisky has new coach, lost stud rb and bama has got to be butt hurt cranky over last season.

9 pt win, tcu – I’ll likely be cursing defending B1G coach of the year (no I will not get over buckeye coaches getting snubbed for that meaningless award, I want to win even the shitty awards – fuck Kirk Ferentz) when they pull the biggest early season win the l1ttle has had in a long time, but I really don’t think so and nobody else does.

8 pt win, boise st – how in the name of Napoleon Kauffman can the huskies not get it turned around? Beats me? Why won’t Boise St go away? Wish that Peterson dude would get hired by a pac 22 (or however many teams they have now) school like uw and kill two birds with one stone.

7 pt win, Auburn – Was real close to picking them in my playoff 4 instead of bama with home field for the Iron bowl this year, but not sold on their defense being ready for SEC yet.

6 pt win, ucla – they better, I mean the hooves gonna be tired from whatever the medical term is for pussy chasing exhaustion by kickoff in westwood.

5 pt win, Stanford – Speilman said on radio this week he was picking the tree’s to make the playoff’s this year, I know Will Smith has moving coming out about the concussion doctor trying to find test for whatever that brain damage stuff is that makes some former football players cliff dive without parachutes and stuff, but shit picking Stanford might be the first sign? Or he is a genius, only time will tell.

4 pt win, ND – thought about them in playoff, but schedule is hard and until I see their QB play mistake free, just not sure. Now if they can get the talent at qb to play mistake free then watch out they will definitely have a shot at running the regular season, Kelly has recruited very well.

3 pt win, Nebraska – Just getting rid of Special Needs Opie Griffith ought make them better right? How’d a guy that coached up those LSU defense’s forget everything he ever knew about defense just because he became a head coach?

2 pt win, Asu – Again a former buckeye with a head scratcher as Herbie put the Sun Devils in his playoff 4 this year, Did Jake the Snake get another year of eligibility?

1 pt win, That Bum Up North – I mean logically I know that them being better/good is better/good for us (especially if we still beat them), but I’m sorry I still need 10 years of whopping to get healed from my Cooper years and work on a nice in my lifetime record cushioning. My biggest concern is unlike the pro’s where you can coach guys for 10 or more years, in college Jim’s antics aren’t going to wear thin, because by time a player matures enough to not need that intensity they leave and new blood arrives. I can only hope his desire to win what his brother already has pulls him back to the NFL someday. In the mean time, I think Sparty, Pedi St, wisky and the not so black shirts should be on notice – The Big 2 and Little 8 (well 12 I guess) is being reborn circa 2015 (ok well probably starting next yr, cause I’m not sure even Harbum can whip Shane Morris or whomever into a championship qb).

Well crap, someone get that girl a warm towel and he’s not that ugly pep talk, cause I’m finished and that was fun/messy!!

Hoping this is the year my picks go JT and Cardale, just keeping me close till the end when I can shine on the big stage!!

Go Bucks!!