week 5 cfb picks

Well where to begin? Thanks to a richrod's hail-mary i'm still near the top, can't believe I had a richrod team as my 9 pt game last week - must have been high!! Oh and speaking of hail-mary's, today is 20th anniversary of Colorado hail-mary vs that team up north - 20yrs, wow how those 2 programs have gone very sadly from top to bottom. I honestly think the chance of the buffs ever recovering is gone, but I think the maize and blue can still get back to what they were, but not if they miss for a third straight time on their coaching search - time will tell.

Ok, I really wanted to think of a clever way to work this in to my picks, but i'm either too tired or to dumb or likely a combination of both, but I heard this on Howard today during the news (in regard to India sending a rocket to mars when they have millions of impoverished people) and hadn't heard it in years and it's just fucking the funniest song ever!! I dare you not to listen to this and laugh!!

ok, once you can pull yourself back together, here are my picks...

10 pts - ND wins, (over the cuse) really who doesn't have this as their 10 pt game?

9 pts - Uga wins, (over the vols) I think Tenn coach has them on the right track (well the last coach covered how to wash your balls, so he can focus just on football?), but they don't have the talent yet. I mean uga has Cooper 2.0 so you never know, but Herbie keeps saying uga is still the best team in the country so....

8 pts - Baylor wins, (over the cyclones) You know part of me wanted to pick Iowa st as an upset, but then I saw they a 24 pt home dog and their big win is over the Ferentz bunch and slammed on those breaks big time.

7 pts - S Car wins, (over the tigers) Ya know the ole ball coach tried to channel his inner Lou Holtz to tell everyone just how awful his team is and how iffy he feels about their play, but you know what? THEY DIDN'T LOSE AT HOME TO FRICKING INDIANA!!

6 pts - Ok St wins, (over the red raiders) I probably should have this a little higher, but tech has pulled these kind of upsets in the past and we know those 'other' wanna be osu's can choke bigtime.

5 pts - OSU wins, (over the bearcats) speaking of choking, yes you heard right VaTech's last win was in the shoe and that was 3 games ago!! God help us!! Oh and we still don't know about our defense and our offensive line might not be um well -  lets say not exactly settled? I honestly had this down as a bearcat win (as I fear losing to an instate opponent almost more than anything) until today when I checked with Vegas and well they don't pay for all those lights by being wrong very often. Oh one last note to make your stomach churn, Urban has a losing record against only 2 coaches - Saban and you guessed it, Tuberville! Oh i'm going to vomit!!

4 pts - Indiana wins, (over the terrapins) seriously they lost to BG right and now I have them as my 4 pt win, this will come back to bite me in the ass hard!! But at least they will have that killer home field advantage!! Bigten, giving students free tickets with every 2 bottles of Coke since 2014!!

3 pts - Stanford wins, (over the huskies) I fear the former Stan coach coming back to his alma matter and I learned recently that Slackman would like the current Stan coach to come resurrect the winged helmet - either way can you just win this weekend, please?

2 pts - ASU wins, (over the bruins) damn I went back and forth trying to determine the battle of the back up qb's and if I believed Hundley would really miss the game and basically I went home field and bruins struggles early in this season to settle on the sun devils, but not very confident.

1 pt - Nevada wins, (over no way I know SJSU mascot - I have a life) sometimes I picture el prez sitting in his chair laptop fired up with an In & Out burger and a Coke laughing maniacally at the pain he causes me with these small nobody west coast school match ups! I don't know much about the losers in my own state, how am I supposed to be up to date on this game? I think in 2000 I drove through San Jose on the way to Pebble Beach and why would you go to school there if you had a choice? Eh, damn now I have to go to bed and dream of In & Out, oh well did it to myself!

Ok, there's another week in the books!! Hope the added (losing team) parenthesis helped ya'll, if I rock a 20 pt week or something i'm going back to the old format! You know cause i'm crazy stupid superstitious like that!! Now excuse me i've had to Najeh for about 10 min!

wk 4 cfb picks

I i i i i i i am sooooo close to first that i'm certain i'll go 3-7 this week, yuk the pressure the pressure, well here goes nothing (may be short this week cause I got some iOS8 to get into yo!!)

10 pts - Bama wins, this was going to be my 9pt game, but then famous jamous went and yelled "fuck her in the pussy" on campus because he's not cool enough to yell "drop a growler in her closet"!! (oh how I miss the Najeh, you will always be the best player in free shoes U). Oh yeah, um florida not going into bama and winning, not with will must-notbea-champ.

9 pts - zona wins, did I just put a richrod team as my 9 pt game, damn this is a tough week of picks! Fortunately this isn't a rivalry game, so...

8 pts - Neb wins, and now a litt!e team as my 8 pt? wtf, well they are at home and they can run the ball and heard today that the U has had 29 players in last 3 yrs that have left or been kicked off team, wow!!

7 pts - LSU wins, lsu has true freshman rb that was number 1 recruit in the country that scored his first td last week against nobody st and did the heisman, I wish his dad was Adrian Peterson! (that's 1)

6 pts - Mich wins, I mean really they have to cause I don't ever remember a mich coach getting fired midseason, but anything can happen. I guess I shouldn't be surprised if they lose as they struggled in first half against miami (oh) in the first half last week, but they just can't lose (again) to Utah at home? The season of redemption continues?

5 pts - FSU wins, well damn this was gonna be the lone no brainer this week, and then an alleged rapist thought it be funny to verbally assault multiple women in a public setting - you stay classy Tallahassee!! Wish his dad had a switches and belts room!! (that's 2)

4 pts - Pitt wins, based on last week you'd think I'd have Pitt a big favorite at home over horrible Iowa, but this is type of meaningless game after another pathetic loss that good ole coach ferentz uses to justify his never ending reign of mediocrity in the corn state. Did you know that he actually admitted that they consciously decided 4 yrs ago to not recruit Florida anymore because it wasn't worth the time/money for what little they got out of the state? Wow, well I guess brilliant coaching like that explains losing more often than not to instate rival Iowa St! Oh and it also explains why a few years ago a coach/recruiting coordinator left Iowa to go be management for Culver's! Can't make this shit up and yeah their butterburger's are good, but not that good!!

3 pts - Okla wins, if they are back to being true contenders again then they should win by 4 td, but i'm not  sure they are we will see...

2 pts - ECU wins, I would had them as a 5pt game last week vs VaTech, but this weekend they could have the let down that VaTech had last week.

1 pt - Auburn wins, you know what happens if you serve hard butter and not soft butter to Bill Snyder? He gets the switch for you and then it's beating room time!! (that's 3) Oh and Ray Rice you are still a punk ass wife beating nothing!

Ok, that was fun lets hope for a miracle and I go 10 for 10 this week and grab me a taste of first place!!

wk 3 picks

Well last week was a cluster F for the litt1e, guess getting it out of the way early is nice, takes the pressure off any real expectations? Or some bullshit like that, all I know is i'm tired of hearing coaches say we need to get more of the young guys in the game. Well put them in, is there a fucking force field on the sideline that they need a code for? Rakwon McMillian played it says 2 plays at the mike v vagoiter and he made one badass tackle for loss, um yeah that's good. Anyway enough bitching, I still love my buckeyes and I just lucked into a free ticket for saturday's 'showdown' with the golden flashes!! 23 straight years of going to at least on game, i'm a very lucky man! Go Bucks!!

Ok on to the picks... (cause i'm not out of it yet, surprisingly)

10 pts - Cincy at home scores 50+ easy and beats my wife's alma matter - thankfully she doesn't care that much, she just likes annoyingly saying Uuuuu Ttttt and flailing her arms about like Michael J. Fox on a roller coaster! (yes that jab at toledo is because I went to bgsu :-/)

9 pts - Utah St wins, just cause we played like shit and gave vatech (apparently according to their coaching staff) the school's biggest win (which is not flattering, but kind of sad that we lost to a school whose biggest win is a non-conference game not a bowl or championship game) doesn't mean the acc is good - they suck and utah st can score baby!!

8 pts - L'ville wins, I really don't know why I have this so high, but the point spread says it should be safe, damn this is type game that can bite ya in the arse.

7 pts - Mizzu wins, I know ucf is good, but they lost to we aren't on probation so everything is forgotten right? st and they are going to be really good under franklin, but not just yet.

6 pts - TCU wins, when I can say minn might be a surprise good team in litt1e and could be our hope for a 'big' win in the non-conference you can see just how shitty the conference is!

5 pts - Uga wins, dammit john copper of the sec don't you dare F me you son of a bitch or so help me god i'll pull some teeth, cash in X's college fund, drive down south with a pitch fork and start the fucking lynching myself!!

4 pts - wv wins, well yay litt1e you got another big rivalry game for everyone to get excited about, who needs sparty or winged vs domers when the non-con can bring us hill people vs hill people by the sea? yay!

3 pts  - ucla wins, please please bruins, I mean tejas got smoked last week and I know your rb knee is shredded, but dammit can your 'heisman' hopefully qb show up and play this week? please.

2 pts - distance ourself from the truth st wins, they aren't a catholic university, but damn if they didn't get the play book in ireland? time does heal all wounds, well not for the children that were allowed over and over to be molested, but for all the fans who can block that from their minds to enjoy a little 'we are' fun, eh, I hope i'm wrong on this one and soprano's st gives you a little 'fogetaboutit justice'.

1 pt - iowa wins, how they are favored by 15.5 pts is insane, i mean they regularly lose this rivalry game and didn't look to impressive last week, but hey they have magic man kirk, so what can be wrong. he is the longest tenured coach in the league. wow, so pathetic. I really hope everyone else picks them as a high point value win and then they lose and I make some points.

So there it is another one in the books, go me?!

wk 2 cfb 2014

Well week 1 picks weren't a total disaster, but - surprise surprise i'm not in first! Oh well after this week I might be in last. I must say I think this might be toughest group on games to pick in a single week.

Here goes nothing...

10 pts - I might be crazy having this as my 10 pt game, but I just don't see sparty going into Phil Knight St and beating the jersey's. Also hear it might be record temps in Oregon on Saturday and me thinks 97 will benefit Oregon's offense more than sparty's defense. If you turn on the game late and want to know how the game is going, don't look at Mark Dantonio's face!! The man should be a poker champion!!

special thanks to my wife Callie Callender for the photoshop 

work to make this awesome picture!

9 pts - Unc will win I guess, they are at home and a 2td favorite, so um yeah... Remember when Butch Davis was a brilliant coach, then went and got that Browns stank on him, then UNC and cheating now he might be dead - not sure?

8 pts - Boise St can't lose at home to the fighting Earl Bruce's can they? No way! Oh and did the first two weeks both have Colorado St games or did some pot smoke get blown towards Ohiah and i'm stoned?

7 pts - Utah wins because the Carr family has run out of qb's for fresno St? I have no idea, can I get a east coast bias handicap? Seriously I didn't even know Fresno was a state?

6 pts - Well I picked the Bucks 6th last week and I kind of feel the same way again, not super confident and on a total 'beamer ball' fear watch, but I know if I remove my fandom from my thought that we are at home and a better team. Oh and we shall know a little more about the pass defense/defense as a whole after this weekend, hopefully it is truly improved.

5 pts - Tex wins, well I was shocked to find out the buckeyes 20 yrds passing they allowed last week was good for only 3rd!! One of those ahead of them was Charlie's very Strong Longhorns, now granted it was agains North Texas (and apparently the Quantum Leap guy was injured) but come on 15yds is good no matter who your playing.

4 pts - Pitt wins, um they are a road favorite other than that I got notin

3 pts - Nevada wins, um they are a home dog against a team that lost at home to St U of NJ?

2 pts - TSUN goes into South Bend and says "oh thanks for quitting on our rivalry

 because your scured you biotches" now take your beat down!! Then Fireworks baby!! Oh wait it's not a home game, never-mind.

1 pt - I can tell you one thing for sure, if Lane had been head coach and had all the liars and racist name caller distraction that went on before the opening game the Magnum's would not have come out and looked so good on the field. I think it's time for Stanford to go back to being a school and not a football program again and I think SC is going to go up there and show them what hem hem 'student athletes' really look like at a football factory.

Well there it is the week that can put me in first or last, we shall see by sunday.

Come on, is that picture not the shit? God i'm still laughing!!