Thank you jets thank you for your stupidity!!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
I'm soooooo confused....
Peyton is officially a bronco, um I'm mad or happy or shit I cant decide!
Obviously its funny cause all the tebow fans will be wondering why? Maybe god isn't behind the gator boy wonder after all?! And if tebow fans are mad - I'm happy!
But as a browns fan this is troubling because if manning can be like he was that makes the broncos very very good and that makes me sad!
Now if peyton is bad that makes me sad for peyton cause I like him as a player. BUT!! It makes me very happy because the broncos would suck and they will have got rid of tebow - a fan favorite - to be sucky!! The only downside to this possibility is - where is tebow headed?
And dont kid yourself, the broncos are very unlikely to keep tebow now. So again where is tebow headed...
If the dumbasses in jacksonville have any sense they will do whatever it takes to get tebow and actually-hmmmmm- sell some tickets?!
But my fear, my personal 2012 doomesday scenario is this rumor the browns might be interested?! Sadly because of what we call an offensive line I understand maybe wanting a mobile qb, but NOT tebow. Its the west coast offense, with short precise acurate passes! Have you seen Mr 2 for 30 throw?
For crying out loud, get more (or actually some) lineman and some good wr's (maybe even great wr's, but baby steps baby steps). Not a really good guy that should be preaching to the gullible on sunday, not throwing the pigskin!
This is my final straw/alamo/jar jar binks moment with the brownies! If they go get tebow on their team I'm done with them and the nfl!
So I'm happy or sad or happy or sad, only time will tell.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Call me a fan boy if you want...
As I sit here fixing yet another virus a coworker (work used losely) got on her pc I cant help but think (and now share) how much I love apple. I love apple because we have 2 of their laptops and an ipad2 and they just work great, have phenominal battery power, make creating fun and well just f-ing rock! Also, using one for me means I'm not at work, because at work we have windows machines (dude it's a dell). Honestly, these computers have up side like cost, third party free software and compatibility for our buisness software. But they still suck ass, with slow crappy blue screen of death, yes this is user generated issue, but damn I hate having to do these factory resets cause someone picked up internet hiv while on facebook or jesusisthereason4daseason.com or whatever! So in closing, if a post is negative chances are I'm at work. If post is upbeat, probably on my macbook, thanks again Mr. Jobs for making technology fun.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
A thank you letter (but you knew I was going to right this anyway, right?)
Dear (fill in your personal all powerful involved deity here):
Thank you for hearing and answering the prayers you choose to while simultaneously allowing awful horrible tragedies to happen so that us peons on earth know that your will is a mystery we are unable to grasp with our limit mental capacity. The gift of not knowing why kids get cancer, or serial murders live till 80, or war or famine…
Oh yeah – Child Molesters – I don’t get that one AT ALL but I’m sure in your infinite wisdom you have a plan I can’t know (for my own safety?) that will all be revealed in the next life.
Please continue to have a random order to who gets sick and who is healthy, to who is rich and who is poor and all while getting people to believe it is all under Your control and there is definitely NO scientific explanations. Zero chance that there is anything that we as humans can do; that trying to foster generations of change through advancing human respect and understanding for all is clearly a waste of time. There is no way knowledge and scientific study can create new medicines and technologies that can give the human race better quality and longer lasting lives. What is needed and proven to work - prayer (to the right god (my god – not yours) for healing of my kind). Surely you have a vested interest in seeing us divided and at war over what book or who’s word is your true voice and one and only way!
The notion that maybe you do have a place for us to go when we die, but you take no role in anything that goes on here is silly. That maybe what happens here and what we make of it are not controlled or predestined from above. That maybe how we choose to live and behave is more important than whom we choose to worship and how we impose that worship on others? No Way!! Clearly for any rational person the born again child molester should enter your gates with a smile and the uber-humanitarian atheist should burn, burn, burn!!
Thank you once more for using this wisdom; I don’t know how I would get by having to decipher all this tricky information on my own. Just not pulling my pud in public takes all my energy and knowing that I’ll that is asked is my blind allegiance and willingness to hate, discriminate and war in your name is a huge relief!!
What would I, we, anyone do without you (in all your forms). I just can’t Imagine?!
Thank you for hearing and answering the prayers you choose to while simultaneously allowing awful horrible tragedies to happen so that us peons on earth know that your will is a mystery we are unable to grasp with our limit mental capacity. The gift of not knowing why kids get cancer, or serial murders live till 80, or war or famine…
Oh yeah – Child Molesters – I don’t get that one AT ALL but I’m sure in your infinite wisdom you have a plan I can’t know (for my own safety?) that will all be revealed in the next life.
Please continue to have a random order to who gets sick and who is healthy, to who is rich and who is poor and all while getting people to believe it is all under Your control and there is definitely NO scientific explanations. Zero chance that there is anything that we as humans can do; that trying to foster generations of change through advancing human respect and understanding for all is clearly a waste of time. There is no way knowledge and scientific study can create new medicines and technologies that can give the human race better quality and longer lasting lives. What is needed and proven to work - prayer (to the right god (my god – not yours) for healing of my kind). Surely you have a vested interest in seeing us divided and at war over what book or who’s word is your true voice and one and only way!
The notion that maybe you do have a place for us to go when we die, but you take no role in anything that goes on here is silly. That maybe what happens here and what we make of it are not controlled or predestined from above. That maybe how we choose to live and behave is more important than whom we choose to worship and how we impose that worship on others? No Way!! Clearly for any rational person the born again child molester should enter your gates with a smile and the uber-humanitarian atheist should burn, burn, burn!!
Thank you once more for using this wisdom; I don’t know how I would get by having to decipher all this tricky information on my own. Just not pulling my pud in public takes all my energy and knowing that I’ll that is asked is my blind allegiance and willingness to hate, discriminate and war in your name is a huge relief!!
What would I, we, anyone do without you (in all your forms). I just can’t Imagine?!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
My gayest blog post yet
Now some of you might say “Damn, gayest ever Dave? You say a lot of Gay shit” and others like might wife my say “Don’t say gay it’s not nice” and I say ok the faggiest blog post ever! Hehehe, anyway…
On to my point (every day that passes lately I realize that our kid has zero shot of having any attention span, can some one be addddddd?)
Ok, really on to the point. I’ve now seen all the Twilight movies, see gay right?! Anyway, my cousin lent them to Callie and we watched and then the most recent one came out and we got that from redbox and watched. First, the movies are ok, I mean they have vampires, werewolves, fighting, bloodsucking and hot people so at worst it is watchable. Hell I’ve made it through every movie not named Dudley Do Right I’ve ever tried to watch no matter how bad. But this most recent Twilight has a really big scientific flaw and I know you have to suspend reality for all movies and that this one is about Vampires and shit, but I found this hard to ignore.
Ok, Vampires – Soul less, cold, blood sucking, powerful demons right?
Plot of last movie, vampire dude marries human chick, they go on honeymoon – she wants to ‘make it official’ he is afraid because apparently vampires make John Holmes look like that Chinese guy in the Hangover? Anyway, they rock and roll, and she gets prego with demon seed that is going to kill her or not? And the rest of movie is about dealing with that, oh yeah spoiler alert, oops?
The problem, Vampires are cold because they have no blood and thus all the drinking of blood to stay alive/have energy whatever, I’m not an expert just going on limited Bram Stoker trivia and such? Well for those that failed health class, you get pregnant when you have intercourse and for that to happen the dude (even if he was a make believe villain) would need an hmmm ‘fully upright skyscraper’ if you will - and for that construction project you need … BLOOD!!!
See I’m aware that my mind is messed up for even noticing, but that is the best part of watching a bad movie is trying to pick up on all the flaws of the director or storyline. Like when they pick up a ringing Smartphone without touching the screen at all to answer the phone? Or when a car goes past the same building twice in a chase seen etc etc etc
So there you have it the wasted thoughts that bounce in my tortured cranium shared with the world for all to laugh at/with? My updates are done on the pc, back to work. (See I blame down time at work, if not for updates i'd have had something to do for the last 5 minutes)
On to my point (every day that passes lately I realize that our kid has zero shot of having any attention span, can some one be addddddd?)
Ok, really on to the point. I’ve now seen all the Twilight movies, see gay right?! Anyway, my cousin lent them to Callie and we watched and then the most recent one came out and we got that from redbox and watched. First, the movies are ok, I mean they have vampires, werewolves, fighting, bloodsucking and hot people so at worst it is watchable. Hell I’ve made it through every movie not named Dudley Do Right I’ve ever tried to watch no matter how bad. But this most recent Twilight has a really big scientific flaw and I know you have to suspend reality for all movies and that this one is about Vampires and shit, but I found this hard to ignore.
Ok, Vampires – Soul less, cold, blood sucking, powerful demons right?
Plot of last movie, vampire dude marries human chick, they go on honeymoon – she wants to ‘make it official’ he is afraid because apparently vampires make John Holmes look like that Chinese guy in the Hangover? Anyway, they rock and roll, and she gets prego with demon seed that is going to kill her or not? And the rest of movie is about dealing with that, oh yeah spoiler alert, oops?
The problem, Vampires are cold because they have no blood and thus all the drinking of blood to stay alive/have energy whatever, I’m not an expert just going on limited Bram Stoker trivia and such? Well for those that failed health class, you get pregnant when you have intercourse and for that to happen the dude (even if he was a make believe villain) would need an hmmm ‘fully upright skyscraper’ if you will - and for that construction project you need … BLOOD!!!
See I’m aware that my mind is messed up for even noticing, but that is the best part of watching a bad movie is trying to pick up on all the flaws of the director or storyline. Like when they pick up a ringing Smartphone without touching the screen at all to answer the phone? Or when a car goes past the same building twice in a chase seen etc etc etc
So there you have it the wasted thoughts that bounce in my tortured cranium shared with the world for all to laugh at/with? My updates are done on the pc, back to work. (See I blame down time at work, if not for updates i'd have had something to do for the last 5 minutes)
Monday, March 5, 2012
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