CFB week 1 2016!!!!!

Sweet Martha mother of Jibbers it's football season again and what a glorious first week of games we have!! I mean fuck the SEC has not 1 but 2, that's right TWO games against good teams ABOVE  the Mason-Dixon line!! OK one is in WV which is only geographically above the line, but beggars can't be choosers right? So with that knowledge you will notice a strong, stronger than Charlie not Strong lean towards picking the SEC to win and picking them high in my points rankings. This is what superstitious hate filled gamblers like myself call a win-win scenario!! If they win as they likely will then I will have a good to great opening week of picks and oh dear jibbers make it so as I wash my feet in the blood you spillith they all lose then fuck my points and shut yo mouth -South!! This SEC scheduling of some actual competition brings up two good points - m) scheduling is way way too far out in the future, cause when LSU/Bama scheduled wisky/Trojans (some party that would be) both schools were far more competitive than they are in their current state (see buckeyes sched of Cal) and you just never know what teams will be in 7-8 years from when scheduling (not every blue blood program gets a Saban to pull them from 20+ years of mediocrity) is done and 5) why other conferences don't learn from the SEC and put their one real hardcore dogshit pushover game in middle/end of season is beyond me, it's like a second bye week!! Anyway, at least glad to see first few weeks of season has way more competitive match ups as it should!! Now lets get pickin!!

Playoffs, I've seen lots of espn guys with two schools from same conference and lots from same side of conference (ala clem/fsu or mich/osu)picking both in playoffs and this is just crazy! To think all the other conferences are going to be so vomit run with multiple losses and you are going to have a school not play in it's conference championship game and make the playoffs? You wanna buy some swamp land in jersey off me? I'll give you a Hoffellava price!! So then i'm going chalk pretty much and nothing crazy with my picks, I almost went Pac 437 with UCLA or Washington, but from everything I read these schools will knock each other out of contention in regular season and until one of them wants to consistently play good defense not buying it!!

So my playoff predictions are - Bama/Clem/Okla/Tsun (I don't really think thug life in khaki's is there yet for a title run and yes they have 'both' their rivals on the road, but I think the defense will be stupid good, the only hard games they have are us and sparty and i'm not sure what he does to those qb's in the sleepovers but they play like the ghost of joe pa is chasing them into a bathroom in not so happy valley!!)

Da Picks -

10 pt winner - Bama, fuck and duh!! There won't be time for Trojans, this is going to be opps did I slip and put it there, sorry honey are you ok time!!

9 pt winner - LSU, think bert is ready to swallow (he looks like he eats everything else) his pride and ask for his old job back? Yeah why would you wanna go get pounded at Ar Kansas when you could have stayed at wisky and played for a conf title every year you figured out the daunting task of beating Nebraska St (the pink shirts) and 4 time coach of the year Kirk Hawkeye? Good call Bert!!

8 pt winner - Okla, I might be crazy and love coach Herman the genius but talent has to win out here, right?

7 pt winner - God damn point spreads, dafaq do I have this as my 7 pt game for? dammit mount ur deers fuckers let the pundits be correct for once and win like it says you should!! Couldn't go all SEC winners and this will probably hurt me.

6 pt winner - Clem, this is almost like picking SEC winners cause if  'woody should have thrown two punches st' goes and choads against 'can we pay Cam another 250k' st then I will laugh and laugh and laugh - sorry pretender programs don't lose nat title games and expect to be taken seriously as a blue blood program, ask Oregon trails.

5 pt winner - FSU, thought bout picking them for my playoff pick over clem, but went chalk/experts but look for free shoes U to be a serious contender to put clem back in their place and see what a school that knows how to finish after yelling 'F her in the P!!' looks like.

4 pt winner - UGA, imagine the look on Mark Cooper's face in south beach if in year one Saban disciple Kirby gets to the playoffs! (won't happen, but be a great oh fuck me day in south beach and Tuscaloosa if it did)

3 pt winner - A&M, one of those games where you so wish this was week three so you could see what these teams actually look like on the field before picking, but ultimately went home team, though if the bruins can find anything on defense at all they could be really special this year!

2 pt winner, ND, well felt way more confident in this pick if thug lepricons hadn't lost some players right before season starts, but still not buying that being really ok at l'ville means winning at tejas.

1 pt winner, Zona, yeah richrod means 1 pt cause how can you be confident in him ever?

And there it is, another season is upon us and my non-sense rantings are off to a fine start if I do say so myself!!

Oh and Go Bucks!!!!!