karma is a bitch

Ya know coping 101 is to make jokes, well for some, for me it's always been the go to... I mean sometimes I wanna get a gun and 'voice' my displeasure in different ways but all that does is hurt innocent people and cures nothing. Jokes don't really cure anything but like the sweet sweet 2 min of bliss a grit or a slit provides it's a pretty nice way to pause the pain. On the downside when ones sense of humor is dark or mean or lazy (aka directed at the easiest target to get the biggest laughs for like minded friends) it often comes back to bite you rite in the ass!! First goiter gate of 2014 and this year An Idiot (not) Abroad (but in cornfields going 8-4 every year and collecting own all of iowa money) flat skull fucking your favorite team like a bang bro does a 5ft 101lb 18yr old farm girl straight off the greyhound that thought she was lucky for avoiding Pauly Shore only to find her self trying to breath through her nose and discovering so cal uses steroid semen as Pepto-Bismol!

What really is still pissing me off is I knew an upset was coming and a) I didn't have the balls to pick it and atleast get the points b) knew something fishy was up with the point spread being so high on road and c) (and probably most annoying) how i'm not winning cfb picks when all these other people just threw the bucks up as there 10pt winner and probably some (i'm thinking of a few people specifically I know) groused about why this game was even in the picks with such a high point spread. I mean fuck by now peeps should know that point spreads and college sports are fucked. Clemson has gone back to clemsoning this season with Cuse lose, in fact there is one soulless devil worshiper in cfb that is immune to the fact these are 18-22 yr old kids that 70% (of the stars not the backups or grade point avg helpers) wouldn't have grad high school forget gone to college. That is happy 666 Sab(t)an! Every coach, program, etc just has loses (bad ones) and fails to play up to potential 90% of the time. I mean thing about it, Bucks are probably the 3rd most successful program in national championships since start of BCS and they have 2!! 2 for 4 in almost 20 years. Here are the 19 champions since the first BCS nat title winner through last seasons winner.. (by championships won)

Bama - 4 (all Saban)
Bucks - 2 (one tress one urban)
FSU - 2 (one bobby b and one 'hey remember you wanted me over bobby b')
LSU - 2 (note 1 was satan and 1 was satan's players with the mad hatter at the helm)
Fla - 2 (both Urban)
USC - 1 (all petey's success they got over once and it has * by it/ncaa doesn't recognize)
Okla - 1 (stoopes don't call me cooper win)
Aub - 1 (oh fsu if you'd just paid cam's daddy you'd have 3, you learned with f them in the p)
Clem - 1 (hopefully never again, but shitty part is I like dabo and think he'll keep winning - fuck)
Miami - 1 (hahahahaha U fans, fuck you and the 8k people that go to your games)
Tenn - 1 (yes, tenn won the first ever BCS title in 1998, tenn a school that now is a joke and keeps hiring joke coaches is shower etiq papers, is Fulmer alive? does he want to try again?)

And yes I put bucks as top of 2 win teams because of their appearances/losses games and because i'm a buckeye fan. I mean 4 title games and a semi final game and 2 wins and people are sky is falling. I said it all along and say it again, love JT and he is very good and we can win a lot of games, he is NOT a nat champ qb and frankly if not for an amazing 4th q we'd have 3 losses this year. Spoiler alert, I might not be picking them this week? Also, can we get Fickel back as def co cord mid season? I mean his head coaching stint is off to as bad a start as I predicted and he is a really really good def cord/lb coach. Fuck our lb's look bad and clearly miss having him around.

I love my bucks, always have always will and i'll say it again, the only thing I care about winning every year is still there to win (although I fear injury and actually seeing o'dipshit play has led steak and milk to break his freshman don't play rule and they may have a qb so i'm shitting myself) just beat that cesspool up north!! Go Bucks!!

And finally to (as slack puts it) "that" type of THE fan, fucking stop with the has Meyer lost it, schiano never really was ever good sky is falling stuff. Was that beat down ugly and unacceptable? YES!! Did these guys forget how to coach, play, run, tackle completely? No! I fear another loss or 2 this season and a major disappointment, but I believe we can win out also, win a l!ttle championship and win the game that matters, so Go Fucking Bucks and you can hop of the bandwagon anytime you want!!

One last bit of 'stats' sorry el prez before this weeks picks, as I fear another Sparty v Bucky champ game, lets take a look at WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE BIG 2 AND LITTLE 10/11/12...

In the 6 l1ttle champ games so far hear is the mind blowing break down...

Wins, 2 wisky, 2 sparty, 1 bucks and 1 pedi st
Appearances, 4 wisky, 3 sparty, 2 osu, 1 neb/iowa/pedi st

Note 2012 would been bucks v neb if not for our self imposed moron ban (pre realignment) and I know for a fact we would have won and played ND and probably won nat champ we didn't deserve and really piss off bama fans that season (rightfully so, neither nd or bucks or anyone was in same class as that bama team) but it was it was.

Ok, that's it for STATS!! Man I love looking at stats and picturing face of el prez as he reads them (well ok, he probably skips them, but it is fascinating to look back and go really, wow that did happen, what were people thinking? I mean no way Microsoft Zune was going to catch on)

This weeks picks...

10 pt - Bama, Satan gonna Satan

9 pt - tun, I listed this thinking it would be close, could still be, but if tun wins or more correctly scores big with red shirt freshman qb putting up nice numbers again, start buckeye nation diamond mines!!

8 pt - Okla, boomer sooner gonna get to playoffs me think and then find out what happens to baker interception field against satan

7 pt - ND, should be convicts beat if not for football convicts in the Sandusky vs Scarface bowl

6 pt - K st, soft butter and the shady side of the plane!!

5 pt - aub, and if they do will I be leaning towards picking War Falcon in the iron bowl?... time will tell...

4 pt - Stan, hoping wash does, want this freshman rb Heisman hopes officially dead!!

3 pt - Sparty, go look up video of droopy dogs face when asked his thought's of bucks being 16 pt fav against his team after losing by 31 and his team coming off win over pedi st! hint, he smiled that Senator Tressel-tine empire strikes back smile of 'yeah, really ok, well we'll play def, run the ball and see what happens' 16 pts? fuck you vegas, hope you are right and hope we remember that are rb's are kind of good... fuck dobbins had 6 carries for 51 yds vs iowa, yeah why give a guy avg 8.5yds a carry in game and like 6 a carry on season 20 touches in a game? why? fuck

2 pt - so cal, last min switch, had colo but got cold feet

1 pt - iowa st, man def vs off, see which wins out, if ok st scores 50, qb should go to NY for Heisman shot this year

so there it is another rambling diatribe of evidence er stupidity, I love ya bucks, could you please pull your heads out of your ass by 25/11 please!!!

wk 10 2017 picks...what????

Well it's officially been over a year since I blogged anything, guess i've just been schlecking around and not writing down my stupidity. How lazy of me, welp time for an old school 60 misspelled illogical words per minute diatribe of non sense!!

So probably more likely to finish in the basement than win cfb but i'm not gonna beat myself up because really difference between first and last is like 6 points a week which is not bad it just adds up. Also interestingly after week 4 I was curious and went back (because i'm a degenerate gambler) and realized if you put in spread i'd be in second and i think 2pts out of first. I know pt spreads would not be liked by 99% of people in league, but really it is how real gambling works. ok enough recapping, on to the picks!!!

But no!! First bonus picks...

i'm gonna say fighting richrods go into so cal and beat the trojans!!
Bama has a closer than expected win over fighting ed orangatangues
Sparty beats pedi st at home and hurts bucks strength of schedule
wash hammers stand at home ending freshman rb at stand heisman campaign this year
and lastly iowa st beats another ranked opponent with upset of wv on the road

ok, for real now on the picks...

10 - ND wins, domer fan should be happy with Kelly I think the best those unrealistic fans can hope for now is to be really good every 3/4 years, i just don't see recruiting top talent there to be bama or osu good year in and year out. this year he has older team good defense and found a couple stud rb's. will be interesting to see if they win out who gets the shaft, them or multiple league champs from pac or big or little or acc? Really ND should cancel out acc champ if they win out as they basically are in acc

9 - Aub wins, so could aub be the come out of no where upset bama at home thanksgiving and have bama fans screaming when they don't get in the playoff's? we can dream, on and unhappy bday this past week to Satan who turned 66(6)

8 - ucf wins, 14.5 pt road favorite with two teams that probably draw 25k fans per game? idk i'll go with the favorite

7 - clem wins, the cfb committee is hilarious saying we do this week to week based on feelings blah blah blah, you do picks during season to get people talking and make news, no fucking way the think uga is better than bama and yeah oklahome should be ahead of the bucks, but no fucking way if clemson wasn't defending national champs would they be ahead of bucks, or anyone else in top 9 after a lose to the 2017 Syracuse orangemen!! I hope i'm wrong and nc st destroys them

6 - bucks win, not sure why I have this so high, but the point spread and other games say it should be this high or higher but fuck that shit hole stadium is a fucking tough place to go play, christ in november it is practically a suicide risk in the dull gray flat awfulness!! iowa is the horny a cup woman of cfb, i mean you'll go there and give it your best but even if you win/finish it's not going to be very exciting (not sorry small tit girls, blame gaaawwwwdddd not me, men love titties!!)

5 - utah wins, having a really good qb in nfl very important, in cfb YOU NEED A DEFENSE sorry bruins, gonna be starting all over with coach staff and players come this post season

4 - Uuuuuuuuu  T wins, for my wife again I know nothing about these teams, their seasons, nor should I...

3 - tcu win, been picking tejas to pull upset for a few weeks now and this is week they finally will when i don't pick them, but can't make the pick on the road against team coming off upset

2 - ok st wins, man I went back and forth, wanted to pick okla cause it hurt/helps the bucks. i'm fully and always will be in the bucks win out and it doesn't matter they'll get in but this year could play out exception with ND being good and if uga/bama champ game is undefeated teams. The first four this week of bama/uga and nd/clem was a message of yes we will shut out 3 of power 5 league champs if best 4 are that much better.

1 - miami wins, vatech is a road fav at an undefeated U? wow, that is some we still don't believe the john cooper of the south has changed his big game abilities yet, i mean they beat fsu at fsu right? man, fsu fans gonna find out f her in the P is that hillbilly coaches vince young, if only coop had found his vince young and got over once how would he be viewed differently?

So there it is, stupidity in writing, probably back to rambling voice next week...

wk 7 cfb picks

Well i'm pretty close to out of winning anything this year, but who knows, lets get weird...

10pt, Bama wins - Oh tenn you almost did three weeks of insane comebacks in a row, but just lost that magic and now your reward? Getting Butt Fucked in your own stadium by Satan himself. I mean look at the line, Bama is a 10 pt favorite on the road in a conference game against a top ten ranked team. That's basically vegas saying ayo bitches suck and this team is going to annihilate everyone, keep in mind with a true freshman qb, so that ought make cfb fans tired of the 48 of cfb winning want to vomit.

9pt, Colorado wins - well pass my the chiba monkey the buffs are good again and despite them getting off to a slow start and not being able to overcome late at condoms last week they should beat the sun devils handly at home.

8pt, Miami (fl) wins, did I time travel to the early 90's for this blog? No cause blogs weren't around and I don't see Antonio Langham right now. I know he was a bama guy, but damn if he wasn't spectacular.

7pt, Sparty wins, what can heal some bad play - northwestern - also this game is more interesting to THE and Tun fans than they know as grumpy grandpa face has benched qb for jr qb that was a big recruit as a spread offense type qb and for some reason choose sparty? Anyway, if they look good with new qb the puckering of buttholes from ann arbor to columbus will be immense.

6pt, Maryland wins, I got nothing on this, it Kills me that I have nothing. Pound sign too soon? I miss Ralph Fregisions (spelling?) good question though, think Coach Ralph is dead or alive?

5pt, Bucks win, This was hard for me to have so high coming off the light being shed to the masses what i've said since 2014 about JT's subpar arm and wisky's sick sick defense but as good as their defense is I think their offense is equally as bad.

4pt, ND wins, fg jesus vs can we end the white hype rb - on Kirk Ferentz head stone it should read here lies the man that robbed the people of Iowa of more money than the democratic party and let people believe that a white rb could put up amazing numbers in the rose bowl against a good team when that was just a paper tiger that had no business being in the fucking Rose Bowl.

3pt, Pitt wins, wanted to go Hoo's for slackman but Pitt is just a better team, not as good as Mark Dueche May probably thinks they are or ever could be, but throw the dog a bone.

2pt, Ttech wins,  best game this week in big 12 and they wander why no one considers them a good conference?

1pt, Our Kansas wins, oh su piggy Berts gonna get wild at home vs Ole, get some bert get some!!

There ye have it, Go Bucks, Go Tribe and Come on 1-15, get 1 Browns please we don't wanna join the Lions in only Defeated teams in NFL history.

cfb wk 6 picks

So week 4 was too busy to write up my picks so sent in with voice message and went 9-1 which stoked my superstitious nature which was dowsed when last week I went back to my normal mediocrity. So back to just rambling silly in my blog that almost nobody reads and yet is probably more people than should actually read this non sense.

10 pt winner - Bama, no way bloated bert is beating satan even at home. I heard today in a podcast that Joey Lauren Adams is from Arkansas and I didn't fact check but if true is one of the most mind blowing things I've ever heard and easily they only thing attractive to ever come out of that shit hole of a state.

9 pt winner - Buckeyes, yes indy is better and yes this should make us buckeye fans a little nervous, but we should win and as I told my boss (that gets nervous about every single game) if we are good enough to win what we want to win we will win these lesser games and if we falter it should prepare us for the games that we really care about.

8 pt winner - Okla, I know I know rivalry but Charlie Strong's big see we're back on the right track win over ND doesn't look so good right now and the Sooners I think out score tejas in a shootout where both defenses look like panties after a girl forgets the red river shootout is coming and has no protection.

7 pt winner - A&M, aggies at home and can flat out score and Tenn has to be out of miracles after last couple of weeks. If i'm wrong watch out for orange fever as it's been a long long time since the tenn tophats have had a reason to put in their church teeth and go out in public and cheer loudly for their volunteer's.

6 pt winner - ND, yes yes yes I know I just said how unimpressive tejas win over ND was and ND is not good, but went and looked at who ncst has played (no one) and think ND goes on road and gets a 'big' win for fg jesus and starts to turn things around.

5 pt winner - Auburn, I wanted to put this higher in confidence but you never know what Auburn is going to show and on the road in the SEC is always anything can happen.

4 pt winner - Kan St, big12 who knows who knows, going home team and 117 yr old Bill Snyder to get the 'big' win in the who gives a fuck bowl.

3 pt winner - Miami, yes that's right Miami is a favorite in this game for first time in probably 10 years or so? I'm picking them cause they're at home, defense is playing very well and fuck knows what is going on with FSU right now? Kind of thinking/hoping lots of people buy the hype and pick the U and higher than this because I still think at some point free shoes U could remember how much talent they have and start pounding peeps.

2 pt winner - Colorado, that's right i'm picking Colorado to win at Trojans and it's not a joke, i'm not high and i'm not secretly gay for Chris Fowler. The close play at Tun appears not to been a fluke and maybe maybe the Buffs are on the road back to being relevant?

1 pt winner - ASU, the sun devils are 9.5pt home dog and in a conference that doesn't play defense (accept for eventual champ Wash) I think vegas is hinting at a upset, taking my shot at trying to steal a win that not to many other people will have we shall see.

Bonus picks, LSU and super interim hc (why would anyone hire this guy as an assistant?) Ed Orangin takes LSU and all their talent in to the swamp and pulls the upset. NC beats VT and if they stomp them look for NC to possibly go back to the ACC champ game for second year in a row. Wash should win, but look for Oregon to be close or maybe even pull upset cause huskies only struggle this year has been against spread offense.

ok, there you have it nothing wild this weekend to rant on just a nice solid lineup of quality games.

wk 3 cfb picks

Well shit, I took calculated risk last week that did not pay off with purdon't and illini and i'm fine losing those 3 pts to the field, but those fucking purple cunt hornfrogs can't beat bert and the most fitting nickname of a school ever when you see there wisker faced whore women! WTF? Does the C stand for coward? Seriously I know i'm going to sound like a asshole eastern time zone d bag, but all football west of the est zone is a damn joke!! Save the Petey professional Trojans run of the mid 2ks and the thanks Vince for not letting people call me Mac Cooper all the other nat titles of what the last 25/30 years come from the east? Oh sorry I forgot about Nebraska, ya know when you could still run the option exclusively and win a nat title? Shit i'm just bitter, shocker, oh well lets see if I can get further back in the standings with my own bad picks and not just with bs fucking losses by teams that should stick to selling their bs religion in pour countries and leave the football to real teams!!

10 pt winner, Bama - you put bama in picks and i'm picking them as my 10 every week cause if Satan is gonna win i'm gonna gain from it!! #spokenasachildofthe90's

9 pt winner, Houston - a loss here helps the power 5 and I want non power 5 and independents to go away, just make the 4 super conferences already and then we'll have a true playoff with winner of those 4 (16-20 team) conferences and no bitching ever again and no polls and well they played blah blah.

8 pt winner, Stan - idk, probably will be my tcu pick this week but Trojans suck, vegas line is higher than i'd expect and white Heisman is at home - what could go wrong?

7 pt winner, Nd - still nervous because Kelly has gonna full Irish with drinking problem and can't see he has a true qb and needs to run from this play both bs (had he done that they beat tejas by 10). Look for el prez selfie partner to try and get another prime time win that looks impressive but means jack shit - no rings means no importante

6 pt winner, FSU - again I want this to make these schools push to get in power 5 hopefully soon to be only 4 conferences. Also, qb for l'ville been sick but against who? and fsu rb/offense should shred l'ville - look for a crazy game maybe in the 63-56 range.

5 pt winner, Auburn - I got nothing, going home team and pt spread here

4 pt winner, Miami (fl) - Kudos el prez maybe the best game you've ever put in picks, spread is close so peeps can't complain, there are 'better' matchups with 'known' teams but fuck this is a dare you to pick the little guy who has done it before to do it again against the fallen giant - and seriously Miami, away game at app st? Really? Hey least they'll be a bigger crowd then you get for home games. Miami fans make so cal fans look like diehards!

3 pt winner, Nebraska - why do I do this to myself, why do I think home field will give the pink shirts a chance to maybe have hope again? what is wrong with me?

2 pt winner, UCLA - don't you fuck me bruins!! Ok, well if you are a cheerleader yes please, but wait no i'm married!! No bruin fucking!!

1 pt winner, OSU - I ain't picking against my team and Urban, but well as slack keeps pointing out we are due and Urban is due and the used to call me Big Game Bob is due - F that Bob Cooper this ain't 2k and we might not win out this year with our schedule and our is he over hyped qb, but we will storm norman like W on powered line resting on a coed's titty durning nam!!

bonus pick for free this week - you Colorado, you don't tug on superman's cape, you don't mess around with slim and you sure as hell don't mess around with a big jim crazy nose picker/eater thug life and expect not to get cut in 100 places and stabbed in 100 more!! when this games over you won't even have the soles of your feet left!! Tun 63 Kordell Back Mountains - 0!!

There ya have it, I must say even if my picks suck in results I drop mic the shit out of them in rambling non sense with occasion funny!! Peace i'm out!!

wk 2 cfb picks for 2016

Well week one was everything it was hyped up to be and more, so to follow up that big ole 72oz juicy steak cfb scheduling brings us the bird crapped on the cake of week 2 games!! On up side this gives El Prez his annual opportunity to appease his so cal (EX) in-laws and simultaneously torture me with having to pick the fucking Aztecs game! Marshal Faulk ain't there, I ain't care!!

Ok, let's just hope I don't ruin the whole season this week cause I have no idea on these games...

10 pt, L'ville winner - only team between Tom Herman and a playoff spot after last weeks upset.

9 pt, Iowa winner - I mean he did just get a nice fat extension. I don't know how every girl that is a 4 but fucks and sucks like a 10 isn't living in Iowa because they will show you a billionaire life for Roseanna level effort.

8 pt, TCU winner - Bert oh Bert, had enough yet? They want you to win, not start to look like the school mascot you bright red fat piece of shit.

7 pt, Tenn winner - or what ever you wanna tell the fans happens as the seat views for that game are terrible!! First row of stadium won't be able to tell wtf is going on and certainly they will have zero problems with the refs mic!!

6 pt, SDSU winner, hope i'm wrong!!!

5 pt, Miss St winner, they have to rebound right?

4 pt, Pitt winner, Penn st better find a way to pull this upset or Franklin better update the ole resume. Kind of hard to believe all the bad luck befallen the nittny lions after allowing and continually honoring a man that at best was clueless to and at worst turned a blind eye to a pederast roaming the bathrooms of central PA for 3 plus decades.

3 pt, Utah winner,  should be my one pt game and maybe best match up of the weekend but i'm picking some upsets and putting them in 1/2 spots.

2 pt, Illinois winner, so b1g got a little something going last weekend and maybe looking to extend this weekend? Well doubtful and reality will come back and cost me 3 pts, but fuck it - here's to my dad and his b1g homer attitude this week!!

1 pt, Purdon't winner, should have seen this coming after that last pick. Seriously the FACT (as slack would say) that two b1g teams are 6 and 9 pt home dogs (coming off wins in week 1) to a non power 5 (cincy for now) and a basketball school (nc) is the most "stop voting a bum like ferentz coach of the year and recognize the big coaches in your conference" middle finger vegas can give a conference!!


Well there it is, fingers crossed my picks will land soft and gentle and shine, shine like the polished gold on ole dirty harbum's fresh chainz!!