CFB week 1 2016!!!!!

Sweet Martha mother of Jibbers it's football season again and what a glorious first week of games we have!! I mean fuck the SEC has not 1 but 2, that's right TWO games against good teams ABOVE  the Mason-Dixon line!! OK one is in WV which is only geographically above the line, but beggars can't be choosers right? So with that knowledge you will notice a strong, stronger than Charlie not Strong lean towards picking the SEC to win and picking them high in my points rankings. This is what superstitious hate filled gamblers like myself call a win-win scenario!! If they win as they likely will then I will have a good to great opening week of picks and oh dear jibbers make it so as I wash my feet in the blood you spillith they all lose then fuck my points and shut yo mouth -South!! This SEC scheduling of some actual competition brings up two good points - m) scheduling is way way too far out in the future, cause when LSU/Bama scheduled wisky/Trojans (some party that would be) both schools were far more competitive than they are in their current state (see buckeyes sched of Cal) and you just never know what teams will be in 7-8 years from when scheduling (not every blue blood program gets a Saban to pull them from 20+ years of mediocrity) is done and 5) why other conferences don't learn from the SEC and put their one real hardcore dogshit pushover game in middle/end of season is beyond me, it's like a second bye week!! Anyway, at least glad to see first few weeks of season has way more competitive match ups as it should!! Now lets get pickin!!

Playoffs, I've seen lots of espn guys with two schools from same conference and lots from same side of conference (ala clem/fsu or mich/osu)picking both in playoffs and this is just crazy! To think all the other conferences are going to be so vomit run with multiple losses and you are going to have a school not play in it's conference championship game and make the playoffs? You wanna buy some swamp land in jersey off me? I'll give you a Hoffellava price!! So then i'm going chalk pretty much and nothing crazy with my picks, I almost went Pac 437 with UCLA or Washington, but from everything I read these schools will knock each other out of contention in regular season and until one of them wants to consistently play good defense not buying it!!

So my playoff predictions are - Bama/Clem/Okla/Tsun (I don't really think thug life in khaki's is there yet for a title run and yes they have 'both' their rivals on the road, but I think the defense will be stupid good, the only hard games they have are us and sparty and i'm not sure what he does to those qb's in the sleepovers but they play like the ghost of joe pa is chasing them into a bathroom in not so happy valley!!)

Da Picks -

10 pt winner - Bama, fuck and duh!! There won't be time for Trojans, this is going to be opps did I slip and put it there, sorry honey are you ok time!!

9 pt winner - LSU, think bert is ready to swallow (he looks like he eats everything else) his pride and ask for his old job back? Yeah why would you wanna go get pounded at Ar Kansas when you could have stayed at wisky and played for a conf title every year you figured out the daunting task of beating Nebraska St (the pink shirts) and 4 time coach of the year Kirk Hawkeye? Good call Bert!!

8 pt winner - Okla, I might be crazy and love coach Herman the genius but talent has to win out here, right?

7 pt winner - God damn point spreads, dafaq do I have this as my 7 pt game for? dammit mount ur deers fuckers let the pundits be correct for once and win like it says you should!! Couldn't go all SEC winners and this will probably hurt me.

6 pt winner - Clem, this is almost like picking SEC winners cause if  'woody should have thrown two punches st' goes and choads against 'can we pay Cam another 250k' st then I will laugh and laugh and laugh - sorry pretender programs don't lose nat title games and expect to be taken seriously as a blue blood program, ask Oregon trails.

5 pt winner - FSU, thought bout picking them for my playoff pick over clem, but went chalk/experts but look for free shoes U to be a serious contender to put clem back in their place and see what a school that knows how to finish after yelling 'F her in the P!!' looks like.

4 pt winner - UGA, imagine the look on Mark Cooper's face in south beach if in year one Saban disciple Kirby gets to the playoffs! (won't happen, but be a great oh fuck me day in south beach and Tuscaloosa if it did)

3 pt winner - A&M, one of those games where you so wish this was week three so you could see what these teams actually look like on the field before picking, but ultimately went home team, though if the bruins can find anything on defense at all they could be really special this year!

2 pt winner, ND, well felt way more confident in this pick if thug lepricons hadn't lost some players right before season starts, but still not buying that being really ok at l'ville means winning at tejas.

1 pt winner, Zona, yeah richrod means 1 pt cause how can you be confident in him ever?

And there it is, another season is upon us and my non-sense rantings are off to a fine start if I do say so myself!!

Oh and Go Bucks!!!!!

A post, what's a post?

Either i've run out of bullshit to say lately or i've been busier than normal, who knows? I surely got some hot air left in me somewhere.

sooooooo....

Fuck I have won Budnascar before and I do math research and shit and have really good reasoned picks and I am in dead last! Then it I thought fuck it i'm going crazy picks to see if I can just get lucky and what else have I been missing? Clearly I need to blow my bullshit out in the webousphere for no one to read unless they are unfortunate enough to call me a friend and receive emails from me!!

I mean I can't get any worse right?

So my goal was to pick 4 first time winners and I did 3 and a guy that it would feel like a first time win as long as it has been.

Daytona - Well i've been a jinx for the 88 this year and since most will pick him could be big chance to make up a lot of points on the field and if he wins it i'll be happy anyway. But I stayed with the HMS power at Daytona and predict "start it with your face" is gonna get his first cup series in the Jason Pierre Paul 500!!

Kentucky - I'm not sure how many piss breaks el prez will take drinking at home next sat night, but i'm gonna ask slack to just drop a pizza on a random stranger so Kahne can regain some of that dodge/everingham magic he had at the 600 we saw (some of us saw more than others) and return to victory lane for first time in a long time.

Loudon - I see the 3!!! getting back to victory lane in Bore Hampshire, not sure why, just a feeling and it would be fitting as most people I know can't stand that race and won't be watching unless they have absolutely nothing else to do.

Indy - The 42 finally wins at the brickyard, I mean how great if Larson gets his first victory at the race that probably caused the former driver of the 42 to say fuck this i'm going back to racing that doesn't have jet trucks on the track at same time as the cars!!

Now I know chances are these four races will go 31/18/48/27 and then i'll be Mama Cass'd on Jersey Mike's before X's 4th bday!!

Oh shit, I gotta get a giant 4 cake for his bday, i'll be only one laughing, but fuck i'll laugh hard as shit!! 4!! He did when making picks with callie this week say "cause that's Julie's driver and he's fast but not as fast a forrary's and slack likes forary's" sometimes I wonder if he's not listening or just ignoring me to piss me off - guess it is the latter, fucking punk! Lucky he hasn't dropped a C word on anyone!

"God sends the storm, so you know he's the only shelter"

This was sign on church I drive by every day this morning.

Huh? ‘I only beat her so she knows how much I love her officer’

I AM AN ATHIEST

That is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write, I know just how much it could/would hurt people I love very much to read. But we all know the hardest things in life are usually the truest and most important.

I don’t want to be an atheist, I hem haw dance around and think well maybe I’m agnostic or something else, but that’s all bullshit – push comes to shove and I don’t ‘belief’ there is an all-powerful all-knowing god playing king dickhead ruler and schemer in the sky. I mean he gives kids cancer? He gets Russian nannies to behead fucking 3 yr. olds and walk around with the head screaming  ‘god is great’? 2 children in New York have died from herpes because their parents are Orthodox Jews and had them circumcised by a Moya – a orthodox Rabbi that performs circumcisions with his mouth, because that’s how ‘god’ wants it to be?

I won’t say why, why, why me (not a 90’s Olympic skater) because I know why. We all do, the thought that this is it and maybe we didn’t or were never given the circumstances to do more is impossible to come to terms with, that I will never see my grandfather again.  That the only truly great accomplishment of my life – my son - could be taken from me in a moment’s notice or that I could be taken from him; that I could fail him in the most important way, by not being around. That haunt’s me any moment of the day I’m unable to fill with busy work.

There is an amazing silver lining…

The human spirit truly does overcome.  Our will to live, love, laugh, share, and be with our friends. Hell the majority of religious people I know are the types that make me long to find a spiritual side. Their faith is a thing of beauty and not used for hate and oppression. They use it to be closer to others and to give back, help others, make the world a better place. If only the leaders, men in power of the major religions in the world were this way and not using religion for what it was invented for and has always and will always be used for – power and control.

I have a dream where I die and get to the pearly gates and god is sitting at a poker table smoking a big cigar and holding a pair of 2’s over junk and laughing and says “well done, you called my bluff”. Being that I am a non-believer finding myself in death in front of God,  I am silenced by confusion and fear. Then god says, “relax, have a smoke and a beer. Grab a chair, you won” and I stammer, “but I’m uh, you know all the bad things I’ve said and thought about you?” and god says “all I care about is people are good, the rest is bs – isn’t that ironic?” (I can’t help you and neither can she if you don’t get that joke)

I really shouldn’t do my first blog post in month’s when I have the stomach flu and see a church sign, little too run down to hold in my true feelings and spare the feelings of other’s.

To anyone fighting something that ‘well that’ll never happen to me’, my thoughts and well wishes are with you and your doctor’s. If faith and prayer helps you great, I’m for anything that gives people the will to fight to live; my thoughts and prayers will be with the scientific and medical community. In the 10k years of man, it has only been the last 100 to 150 years that we have been able to change the outcome of how long and with what quality of life we live. As Lennon would say ‘Imagine’ what can be in the future.

cfb week 14 picks - the end...

So here it is the last week of cfb picks 2015 and the buckeyes aren’t in the b1g champ game, but played amazing in the only game that matters and some how still have a shot, all be it a small one, at making the playoff’s and defending their title! In the same vain and despite my pour performance the last couple of weeks I still have a shot at my first title in cfb picks, again all be it a small chance, and hoping to regain some magic and take the title. (note to el prez, maybe include playoff picks of top people as those bonus pts should come into play, was it 5 pts per correct team?)

Now I’ve stated that this year I was just going to be logical with my picks and not do anything crazy like pick a team I knew would lose as my 10 pt winner because I hate them and want to ensure their loss and for the most part I have stuck with that concept. However, I find that maybe I talked my self into fearing things that weren’t really happening, ala bucks being awful because of one bad game against sparty and over valuing Harbum’s magic powers. No doubt dude has magic powers, but even he couldn’t overcome talent gap and injuries in the match up this season. But after he gets a couple years to recruit better talent I see much more evenness in the best rivalry in sports.

One last thing before my picks – Mark Richt is the new coach at the U, I’m speechless that is going to be epic epic epic no matter winning and losing. Imagine if he wins it all? Well Georgia has been on fire before.

Oh and the motto for this final week… A – lways   B – e    C – losing!! Now lets go get my Cadillac!!

10 pt, Bama wins – I so so so so so so want to be wrong on this one, but no way the gators are winning a game when they can’t score!! They got 2 pts at home against FSU, bama’s defense makes FSU’s look like security guards at a Crab leg grocery store!!

9 pt, App st wins – Seriously hoping el prez just loves him some 1aa football and it’s a thin week, because only other reason to put this game in picks is trolling tun fans and that would just be cold.

8 pt, W Kent wins – And guessing that this game is in here because once a buckeye always in el prez’s heart (see dantonio selfies) and I’ll bite – Go fighting Noah Spence’s!! This win ought to be a real Rave!! (too soon?)

7 pt, BGSU wins – cause somebody in ugly brown and orange uni’s should win something in this fucking state? No actually this is because the point spread says they should win, they lost last year and won year before, and finally because strange enough N Ill winning would help the buckeyes long shot playoff chances which surely means they will choke.

6 pt, WV wins – I only pray the other people close to me have this exactly same pick and place as me, because I’m vomiting just at thought of this being the game that does me in. I mean wv is better team and should win, but it’s road game and never know what weather will be, but I can’t justify moving it or changing pick, damn you big 12 I hate picking your games!!

5 pt, Clem wins – well he’ll prove me wrong and it still won’t help the buckeyes, but I’m buying into Dabo and that clemson’ing is a thing of the past, well until they play bama.

4 pt, SDSU wins – this is game I considered flopping with WV game, but again losing on either of these games would be sickening!! Just kind of thinking that those Academy schools can beat anyone if they catch them off guard. But who fucking knows.

3 pt, Houston wins – Go Tom Herman Go! Gonna rock that ‘never heard of your conference’ championship trophy in year 1! Also sounds if Tom is going to be patient (he is Mensa member) and wait for his dream job to open up (which it would this year if anyone at the athletic department in Austin was a Mensa member) and stay at Houston until he can go lead the Longhorns back to glory.

2 pt, Sparty wins – Here is case where I wanted to put Iowa as my 9 pt winner because sparty winning is a huge huge help for us to get in playoff if there are upsets, but I couldn’t let my fandom cost me shot at a trophy, so I’m going to say what I really think will happen. Sparty’s defense and Conner Cook prove the difference maker against a better than I’d like to give them credit for (but still not playoff caliber) Iowa team and Sparty wins 41-24.

1 pt, Stan wins – I normally would say a team is hard to beat twice in one year and the Trojans will exact revenge and that is what I want to happen because again it will help the buckeyes, but I don’t think we are going to get the breaks and make the playoff’s this year, so going to say as my least confident pick that Stanford gets the double and makes the playoff’s which will be…

Clemson vs Stanford and Bama vs Sparty, with Bama beating Clemson for the 2^nd playoff national championship – Jibbers R Christo I hope I’m wrong!!

Go Bucks!!

wk 13 cfb picks

Was the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house the Small Pox blankets were packed and their land and maize we were ready to steal...

I don't know what that was about...

Anyway, it seems to me there are 3 possibilities as to why I wasn't more upset last week after our loss to sparty.

1 and the one I hope it is, i've just matured with age and have a wise and better outlook on the more important things in life.

2 and likely the most realistic and likely reason, i've got more things in the world to worry about and fear than silly football losses.

3 and the one that would probably be the scariest, I haven't really changed. How, well more that i've just been lawed into a peace from years and years of winning that could easily come crashing down around me in a cooper-esq decade on the horizon that would lead to a snap back to a person that wasn't not mentally healthy. Let's hope we never find out.

Ok, one last thing before my picks, i've done what I should not (nor should anyone) do and changed my mind on many a pick and the order. This week of games is always the most difficult week to choose, because these are rivalry games and you just never know.

10, Bama wins - The freebie this week, no way Auburn getting any fluke fg returns or gonna just rivalry up. The mean fake tooth midget is going to the playoff's and probably going to win it all again and save the south from starting to question their place in college football and by question I do mean act irrationally like the uneducated bible thumping rubes they are.

9, Pitt wins - I mean really?

8, Okla wins - don't you dare do it to me Stoopes, time to step up and prove me wrong that your not just a fluke championship 15 years ago from being the Cooper of the Big 12/10/8/6

7, LSU wins - I mean they are at home and Les is reportedly trying to save his job, so...

6, tun wins - Well I had my original sheet with the bucks as a 1 pt winner and a whole rap about not going to do it, not going to pick against my boys even if I think they are going to lose. Then I remembered i'm trying to pick my games unemotionally this year. I really hope the bucks show up and look good and win and we can say last week was just a product of getting big heads and coaches getting tight with play calling in bad weather. I fear we will find that coaches messing with not making a clear choice at qb has led to neither being ready or prepared for good teams. We will see, we know harbum will have his guys ready to play, hopefully our guys show up and show a little defending national champions pride. We will see... remember north till you smell it and west till you step in it!! Go Bucks!!

5, Fla wins - swamp swamp swamp

4, So Cal wins - 2 weeks in a row where the Bruins can screw me and probably will.

3, Stan wins - I really wanted to pick ND because I think they can win this and can make the playoff's but something about history on road and the point spread says this is setting up for ND heartbreak. Also, as a buckeye fan chaos in the next 2 weeks is a very very very important thing to us. Well assuming we can take care of our part and win.

2, Miss St wins - another one I flopped on and not sure why beyond home field and last shot for Dax, I kind of think i'll be write and win this or be way way way wrong and ole miss will blow out miss st.

1, TCU wins - and my last flop and this is because of Baylor now being on their 3rd string qb (which was good for the bucks last year, but with a little more time to prepare I think?)

So there it is, man another cfb year has flown by and we are looking at the best game of the year. Let's hope Jim becomes first tun coach to lose first osu game at home since 1929. Then again bucks last conference road loss was 2011 in ann arbor so... Oh Yeah, el prez Stats warning, wait guess should have put that first, my bad!! 15!!!!

wk 12 cfb picks

Holy Jibbers what a week of games, there are like 3 or 4 other games that could be worthy of picks this week, but none of the 10 games on here are unworthy and frankly picking pac 12 games is like playing Russian roulette!! So here goes nothing...

10 pts, Okla wins - had this high before TCU's best wr got listed as out for the season and bumped up to my top game, Oklahoma fans are going to be 1 loss awaiting the cfb playoff final rankings and trying to make sense of how they are sweating out missing the playoffs because of a shitty losing record Charlie not so Strong fighting Longhorns. Well, guess that's why it's a rivalry game.

9 pts, Stan wins - Rivalry game is only reason this will even be close.

8 pts, Mich wins - they might have fallen asleep in Hoosier'ville, but I see harbum having team fired up in pedi-land. If last week was not an aberration and the defense is starting to show signs of wear/tear then the frosh rb at penn st will make them pay. I think next week's game will be for the right to go win the conference championship game - as lots feel it should be every year.

7 pts, OSU wins - must say I was on verge of picking sparty, there are so many bad voodoo stats from 98 sparty (before tun game) game to my brother working the game (he did work last years tun game, but he also worked the Trojan game years back). Also, the point spread is odd high which usually is a sign of vegas trying to move betting because they smell an upset, but also could be they know more (as always) about Cook's shoulder injury. Hard to say, I think at home we play good enough to win and then... Well I won't be wearing my fucking khaki's to work next week!!

6 pts, Utah wins - this is my 6 pt game? really this game on I wanted to put at my 1 pt game, I have no idea, the pac 12 is crazy this year, who knows, um i'll go home team and the fact that the Bruins are traveling in ambulance to the game?

5 pts, Oregon wins - have they righted the ship and returned to score score score Orgeon? Looks that way, will know after this weekend as they will need to against the Charlie Sheen doesn't know who we are's!!

4 pts, Ole wins - The only Fournette will get back in Heisman race after last two weeks is a couple of 300+ yd games which he very well could do against Ole Miss, but I really think we are going to find out he is only top skill player they have this year and Ole Miss will score at will.

3 pts, Barlor wins - That freshman qb showed some stuff against Oklahoma even if they did lose, look for them to ruin Big 12/10/8 chances at the playoff race for the 2nd straight year and that will make the domers very very very happy.

2 pts, S fla wins - I for the life of me looking at this match up and common opponents can not for the life of me see why cincy is a road favorite in this game. Crazy, crazy enough i'll be cursing them when they win.

1 pt, ASU wins - R I V A L R Y game with R I C R R O D - nuff said, yes I think he won this game last year, but he couldn't win two in a row vs the Stache with WV and he won zero in Ann Arbor, so no way he goes on road to win again this year?

Oh look for upsets in the North Carolina and Houston games, might be wrong but those are both road trap games for teams not used to having a shot at winning anything ever.