wk 12 picks

I once heard that condoms are actually 100 percent effective, but the numbers only show 93 percent effective because they can’t prove that all mistakes are caused by moronic college boys to dumb or drunk or both to probably put on Mr. rain coat. With that in mind, I’m going to say my picks are 100 percent right and it’s stupid unpredictable college boys fucking up my hard work!! But who are we kidding? After a case of Natural light, how many college kids think condom? Ok, I’m losing my train of thought, back to the picks. I’m still in the hunt and need a big week to get back on top.

Anybody notice Browns didn’t lose or barely win a meaningless game last week? (ok so they didn’t play, still was a nice peaceful Sunday?

Week 12 picks…

10 pts – Nike whore wins, ok if I lose my 10pt pick two weeks in a row then college football will be staring the very real possibility of Kst vs ND Nat champ game, that’d be exciting!! Go funky uniform number 5 billion go!!

9 pts – Ga Tech wins, no way I’m going to take the points lead this week, these games are stupid hard to predict and I used up all my luck early this season. The spread is way in triple options favor, please Blue Devils – go back to being a basketball school!! Or hell, go back to being an elite prick ho party lacrosse school!!

8 pts – Ok st wins, apparently being head coach at TexTech must make you a real prick or it’s the curse O’ bobby? Or Tommy just wanted to smack somebody around? I picture him saying “where was my Cam at Auburn, where?!!!”

7 pts – Ok wins, Remember when WV was Oregon east? Yeah neither do they!!

6 pts – Those private school homos win, sorry el prez but the Ucla comeback is not that far back yet. Or is it? We shall see…

5 pts – Best party school hands down wins, what’s a year and a half, 15k of borrowed gov’t cash and a very very loose moral compass get you? Well if you go to BGSU – a ton of great (even if fuzzy) memories, some stories you don’t tell your wife and as a new father – a weird fear/hope your son wants to go to BGSU. Seriously, I have friends that actually graduated from there and have great jobs, like 5 of them, granted I wasn’t friends with any of them when I went there, but I’m sure they were those noisy dicks getting up before noon and going to those other buildings with desks and books, what were those called? Why never a class called Sarcasm 403?

4 pts – St U of NJ, I’ve been running commercials all week in NJ saying that Scientist at Cincy were responsible for Sandy!! Bend over bearcats, hear comes Soprano justice!!

3 pts – UNC wins, apparently the new playoff picture only includes auto birth for 5 of the 6 current “BCS conferences”, who got dropped? That’s right the Big East! But don’t think the ACC wasn’t sweating it a little!! And the BigTen better be glad all our fat arses travel like nobody’s business to warm weather bowl games or we’d be getting a smack down too!!

2 pts – Tenn wins, come on Vols!! Seriously if they lose to in state rival too, I see a lynching in someone’s future! Coach Dooley’s legacy is very close to being that hillbilly that told everyone at a press conference that his first order of business was to correct his player’s shower habits!!

1 pt – Bucks win, I have to believe, I want to believe and I should believe. In all honesty though, I had this the other way most of the week, but we are the class of the conference no matter how unimpressive that is and yes I’m nervous and yes I fear the game where we can’t score, but I also no the explosiveness we have and the improvement growing every week! And I say make us proud boys, knock out these next two weeks and prepare us for glory again!! (oh my stomach hurts, ain’t college football grand?)