Fuck off espn, fuck off coach K, fuck them all, I declare jihad on ESPN, fucking dicks!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Davenporting (the next lame internet fad)
I came up with this idea while watching football a couple of Sunday's ago and basically I think its hilarious and I wanted to do it solely to make some of my friends laugh. Specifically a few friends who I always joke about one athlete and 'growlers'.
A little history....
There was/is a Internet fad called planking...
... basically lay across something like a board/plank and take a photo and you have planked. Pulled this off the millions on the Internet.
Then someone, presumably an annoying Gator fan (or possibly Bronco fan) started 'tebowing', or posing places in the post TD pose Tebow does to say thanks to God for investing time in something as important as helping Timmy get another touchdown, ehh, anyway it caught on and you can find examples of that all over the Internet as well...
... possibly this guy needs God to make his train come in on time?
So all this led me to a thought, how could I start a lame Internet fad? Make my buddies laugh? And pay homage to one of the creepiest bad athlete stories of my lifetime?
Davenporting!!
Najeh Davenport is a former University of Miami football player and multiple NFL teams player who while in college was so obsessed with a girl (maybe an ex girlfriend?) that he hid in her dorm room closet and waited for her to come home. But, she took longer than he must have thought (or he didn't plan ahead) and he had business to conduct. We've all been there, got to go bad, in the middle of something you just can't stop - what to do? what to do? Najeh, said this closet has a close basket in it, I'll drop my 'growler' here and keep waiting!! And my friends and I have enjoyed much 'growler' humor ever since!!
So, hope you enjoy and maybe this will catch on and make its way to Internet fame. Who knows maybe one day 'Davenporting' will be on Tosh.O, one can only dream...
... so go forth my Davenporting for all to enjoy...
A little history....
There was/is a Internet fad called planking...
... basically lay across something like a board/plank and take a photo and you have planked. Pulled this off the millions on the Internet.
Then someone, presumably an annoying Gator fan (or possibly Bronco fan) started 'tebowing', or posing places in the post TD pose Tebow does to say thanks to God for investing time in something as important as helping Timmy get another touchdown, ehh, anyway it caught on and you can find examples of that all over the Internet as well...
... possibly this guy needs God to make his train come in on time?
So all this led me to a thought, how could I start a lame Internet fad? Make my buddies laugh? And pay homage to one of the creepiest bad athlete stories of my lifetime?
Davenporting!!
Najeh Davenport is a former University of Miami football player and multiple NFL teams player who while in college was so obsessed with a girl (maybe an ex girlfriend?) that he hid in her dorm room closet and waited for her to come home. But, she took longer than he must have thought (or he didn't plan ahead) and he had business to conduct. We've all been there, got to go bad, in the middle of something you just can't stop - what to do? what to do? Najeh, said this closet has a close basket in it, I'll drop my 'growler' here and keep waiting!! And my friends and I have enjoyed much 'growler' humor ever since!!
So, hope you enjoy and maybe this will catch on and make its way to Internet fame. Who knows maybe one day 'Davenporting' will be on Tosh.O, one can only dream...
... so go forth my Davenporting for all to enjoy...
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
For election day
I miss how I felt at 18 where I had convinced myself of a clear view of the world. Now I have a clear view, but it is much much sadder and I don't feel it can change nor that it ever could. I don't know if the middle class is a myth, but people able to think on issues and have balanced beliefs seems to be fading towards mythical. Anyway, here are some of my favorite quotes from a really funny book I read earlier this year - in honor of "well I guess i'll vote for that guy?" day. (fyi, this guy still claims to be a conservative republican, so though these quotes are funny be warned not all his ideas are great or leaning on free thought, but he is better than most or at least understands the concept of picking which battles are worth fighting.)
Don’t Vote: It just encourages the bastards.
P.J. O'Rourke
“I was brought up in Republican circumstances, firmly grounded in convention. I was swept out to Marxist sea by a flood of sex. I was trying to impress cute beatnik girls. Then, one day, I found myself beached on the shore of jobs and responsibilities and I was a Republican again.”
“We didn’t kill liberalism because that would have meant killing power. And we wanted the power for ourselves. Nor did we offer therapy to the public for its crippling liberalism. Successful treatment would have meant a public cured of its dependence on government. Which was now us.”
“Take just one example of our unconserved tendency to poke our noses into other peoples business: abortion. Democracy, be it howsoever conservative, is a manifestation of the will of the people. We may argue with the people as a man may argue with his wife, but in the end we submit to the fact of being married”
“If the citizenry insists that abortions remain legal – and, in a passive and conflicted way, the citizenry seems to be doing so – then give the issue a rest.”
“The law cannot be made identical with morality. Scan the list of the Ten Commandments and see how many could be enforced even by Rudy Giuliani. ‘Honor thy father and thy mother.’ My daughter Muffin would get the chair.”
“Anyway, a low tax rate is not – never mind the rhetoric of every conservative politician – a fundamental principle of conservatism. The principle is fiscal responsibility.”
Monday, November 7, 2011
wk 11 picks (the week of 11/11/11 I might add, scary)
I went 8 for 10 and had 50 out of 55 points!! Woohoo!! Ok, I did stay in last, but I’ve heard you have to ‘accentuate’ the positive? Speaking of positive, the bucks did win even if it was far from pretty and we pass as effectively as Saddams Scuds in the first Gulf war. Here is a question, well first the bigten is bad and aside from the buckeyes the bigten has been bad for years, but if two bigten teams played a game of the century hyped game and the final score was 9-6 in overtime with tons of missed scoring opportunities and turnovers would the national media reaction be about the amazingly awesome display of defense? Or the poor offense and execution, just a question and some food for thought; ironically I think bama is set up the best to make the national championship game. They most likely won’t have to play in the SEC title game, where LSU will and the tigers still play Arkansas, Ok st still plays Oklahoma, Stanford and Oregon play this week and clearly the BCS computers hate Boise st as much as a person with a migraine would hate being in a stuck elevator with Lee Corzo and Dick Vitale. Hmmm, not sure if I like that analogy, but it is the best I have on a Monday.
Now lets see if I can have another good week, I made up 5 points on the lead last week, at this pace I’ll be back in it bye 2014!
10 – Boise St, no way they are losing during the regular season and apparently it don’t matter to the BCS and it shouldn’t! Join a real conference and then call us, Oh and the big east might not count by the time you get there!!
9 – So Cal, Jim bolman could device a scheme to drop 50 on the huskies D, ok that might be impossible, but you get my point.
8 – Stanford, what say you, am I crazy – duh been established – anyway I just think the Cardinal team is Lucky! That’s right I win the worst pun of the year trophy biotches it’s all mine!! My humor is that of a 3rd grader on his 2nd try with a mouth full of paste.
7 – Uga, I tried to warn the uga fans, Mark Cooperheimer has struck again and is probably going to get you to the SEC championship game and maybe a BCS bowl game and you know what it all means… you under achieved again and will never get over and win it all. We here in Ohio call it the 90’s, when we can actually speak about it without crying.
6 – sparty, now this is insane for sure because Iowa may have turned corner and started playing like herby said they would at beginning of the year, but I don’t know just a gut feeling on this one and clearly my gut has been doing sooooo well for me this season?!
5 – Ga tech, fucking ACC games….????????????????????????????????????????
4 – Nebraska, penn st defense is good, but offense is bad and I think wrinkles of option offense will make the difference in a low scoring game. Side note, who knew penn st, was a catholic university? Too Soon? Ok, I apologize that was in poor taste, but I kind of like jokes that are in poor taste. Ehh, only 2 ways to deal with the horrible things in this world, humor or rampant drug/alcohol abuse and I’m too cheap to be an addict.
3 – Kent st – why? Why? WE SCORED 42 POINTS ON AKRON!!!
2 – Utah, going with home team in a toss up game.
1 – Bucks, what doesn’t make me worry about this team, still like the steps we are making and love the running game and purdon’t has 10th worse run defense in the league, but damn it’s on the road, still no passing game, and purdon’t is schizoid. We could blow them out or we could lose ugly, just not sure. We need to just keep getting better and finding ways to win and hope Posey is missing component to our pass game that we definitely will need the last 2 weeks of November.
Well there it is, more pearls of wisdom? Last week I was rude and nasty at end of this and had my best week of the season so…..
Kiss my Taint ya’ll!! Go me, David Callender is the greatest (3rd person reference!!)
Those that know my tendency towards superstition better hope I have horrible week of picks, because if this nasty thing works 2 weeks in a row, I’m fixin to get Lohan/Sheen child of Satan dirty!!
Now lets see if I can have another good week, I made up 5 points on the lead last week, at this pace I’ll be back in it bye 2014!
10 – Boise St, no way they are losing during the regular season and apparently it don’t matter to the BCS and it shouldn’t! Join a real conference and then call us, Oh and the big east might not count by the time you get there!!
9 – So Cal, Jim bolman could device a scheme to drop 50 on the huskies D, ok that might be impossible, but you get my point.
8 – Stanford, what say you, am I crazy – duh been established – anyway I just think the Cardinal team is Lucky! That’s right I win the worst pun of the year trophy biotches it’s all mine!! My humor is that of a 3rd grader on his 2nd try with a mouth full of paste.
7 – Uga, I tried to warn the uga fans, Mark Cooperheimer has struck again and is probably going to get you to the SEC championship game and maybe a BCS bowl game and you know what it all means… you under achieved again and will never get over and win it all. We here in Ohio call it the 90’s, when we can actually speak about it without crying.
6 – sparty, now this is insane for sure because Iowa may have turned corner and started playing like herby said they would at beginning of the year, but I don’t know just a gut feeling on this one and clearly my gut has been doing sooooo well for me this season?!
5 – Ga tech, fucking ACC games….????????????????????????????????????????
4 – Nebraska, penn st defense is good, but offense is bad and I think wrinkles of option offense will make the difference in a low scoring game. Side note, who knew penn st, was a catholic university? Too Soon? Ok, I apologize that was in poor taste, but I kind of like jokes that are in poor taste. Ehh, only 2 ways to deal with the horrible things in this world, humor or rampant drug/alcohol abuse and I’m too cheap to be an addict.
3 – Kent st – why? Why? WE SCORED 42 POINTS ON AKRON!!!
2 – Utah, going with home team in a toss up game.
1 – Bucks, what doesn’t make me worry about this team, still like the steps we are making and love the running game and purdon’t has 10th worse run defense in the league, but damn it’s on the road, still no passing game, and purdon’t is schizoid. We could blow them out or we could lose ugly, just not sure. We need to just keep getting better and finding ways to win and hope Posey is missing component to our pass game that we definitely will need the last 2 weeks of November.
Well there it is, more pearls of wisdom? Last week I was rude and nasty at end of this and had my best week of the season so…..
Kiss my Taint ya’ll!! Go me, David Callender is the greatest (3rd person reference!!)
Those that know my tendency towards superstition better hope I have horrible week of picks, because if this nasty thing works 2 weeks in a row, I’m fixin to get Lohan/Sheen child of Satan dirty!!
A rivalry
Watched some of the steelers/ravens game last night. Not all because it is too painful to watch that rivalry and know that is what the browns/steelers rivalry is supposed to be and used to be. I guess, considering the ravens are the old browns, it still is the rivalry it was, but that only makes the pain worse. Houston got a team back since the oilers left and we played them minus their star wr and they still beat us down! Damn the nfl, I will watch and cheer and gamble on the nfl, but it will always be lacking until the browns are competitive which hasn't been so in 17-18 years. On a positive note when the steelers lose it always feels good, even if it is to the ravens.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
wk 10 picks
Before I get to the picks a few thoughts… Great win for the buckeyes, let’s hope it is another step towards being a really good team, clearly run game is good, defense is good, and qb is getting better everyday and he needs to keep getting better. Also, defense needs to sure up how to play with a lead. Another great Nov can lead to a shot at another B10 championship.
If you saw any of the Toledo vs. N Ill game last night you got a score fest!! I’m going to give a former buckeye (tol head coach Boeckman) a little tough love. If you are up 3 in a 60 point ball game where almost no defense has been played and the other team has the ball first and goal at the 5 with 2 min to play in game?... They are going to score, don’t fool yourself into believing in some miracle goal line stand. Also, you have all 3 of your timeouts and your offense has been as unstoppable as theirs, so when they run the ball and you stop them… CALL AN F-ING TIMEOUT YOU DUMBASS!!! N. Ill scored to take a 65-62 lead with 19 secs to go and after the kickoff Toledo got the ball on the 25 with 15 seconds to play. Here is the kicker - they moved the ball 35 yds before the clock ran out!! If he had called 1 of his 3 timeouts on defense they would easily have had time to get in field goal range and probably would have had time for a td!! College coaches must know that time outs do not need hoarded for offense because clock stops with a first down. Worse time management I’ve seen in a long long time. Then again what do I know, I can’t even pick at a 50% clip for the season?
On to my picks… and I am feeling very confident in my picks this week, which means I might get 5 or 6 right!!
10 – Oregon, if I win the lottery I’m going to donate 10 million dollars to Oregon football on one condition. They let me make one of those giant picture board signal calling things they use on the sideline and they use it every game for 5 years. On my board will be the following pictures; one of Mark May, one of Summers Eve, one of a bag, and one will be blank in honor of the big games pitt football has won in the last 30 yrs!!
9 – ND, man the golden domers are kind of good – again – when they don’t turn the football over. Only way this game is even close is if ‘fg messiah’ turns it over a bunch.
8 – Texas, tejas is kind of good again. If this was at tech or if tech had showed any stones last week then maybe would have this lower or even the other way.
7 – Ok st, could the cowboys be the team to sneak into that who plays the lsu/bama winner spot? Looks that way, knew they had great offense, but can’t believe their defense shutdown Baylor – impressive.
6 – Virginia, They should slaughter Maryland, but it is the ACC so who knows?
5 – Fl st, ok not feeling so confident again, really I’m picking fl st on the road? But BC is bad bad… have I mentioned I hate picking ACC games? To be fair I’m bad at all the games, but the ACC seems to confound me more than others.
4 – Mich, big win for team up north last week, that is the point in the season the last couple of years where they would implode and tank the season, now I think they could lose this week, probably will lose 1 or 2 of their remaining 4 games (hopefully at least the last one!!), but they also look to have the talent to win all 4 of those games. Time will tell I guess.
3 – Baylor, at home off a big embarrassing loss, time to score 70 pts.
2 – Ark, coin flip game going home team.
1 – bama, the 10k dollar question, I’d like to have some insightful breakdown of why, but I don’t do research (aka regurgitate what I hear/read on espn), I go on gut feeling, limited knowledge from watching some college football and mostly on my hatred of one of the teams. In this case, bama is home and I’d rather LSU win because Nick Saban is the poster child for slimy corrupt coaches for hire. Bill Belichick calls Saban to tell him to lighten up on the reports they just have a job to do!! Seriously he has the personality of the wet paint. Anyway, geaux crazy Les!
One last thing… Mark May is a Douche!!
If you saw any of the Toledo vs. N Ill game last night you got a score fest!! I’m going to give a former buckeye (tol head coach Boeckman) a little tough love. If you are up 3 in a 60 point ball game where almost no defense has been played and the other team has the ball first and goal at the 5 with 2 min to play in game?... They are going to score, don’t fool yourself into believing in some miracle goal line stand. Also, you have all 3 of your timeouts and your offense has been as unstoppable as theirs, so when they run the ball and you stop them… CALL AN F-ING TIMEOUT YOU DUMBASS!!! N. Ill scored to take a 65-62 lead with 19 secs to go and after the kickoff Toledo got the ball on the 25 with 15 seconds to play. Here is the kicker - they moved the ball 35 yds before the clock ran out!! If he had called 1 of his 3 timeouts on defense they would easily have had time to get in field goal range and probably would have had time for a td!! College coaches must know that time outs do not need hoarded for offense because clock stops with a first down. Worse time management I’ve seen in a long long time. Then again what do I know, I can’t even pick at a 50% clip for the season?
On to my picks… and I am feeling very confident in my picks this week, which means I might get 5 or 6 right!!
10 – Oregon, if I win the lottery I’m going to donate 10 million dollars to Oregon football on one condition. They let me make one of those giant picture board signal calling things they use on the sideline and they use it every game for 5 years. On my board will be the following pictures; one of Mark May, one of Summers Eve, one of a bag, and one will be blank in honor of the big games pitt football has won in the last 30 yrs!!
9 – ND, man the golden domers are kind of good – again – when they don’t turn the football over. Only way this game is even close is if ‘fg messiah’ turns it over a bunch.
8 – Texas, tejas is kind of good again. If this was at tech or if tech had showed any stones last week then maybe would have this lower or even the other way.
7 – Ok st, could the cowboys be the team to sneak into that who plays the lsu/bama winner spot? Looks that way, knew they had great offense, but can’t believe their defense shutdown Baylor – impressive.
6 – Virginia, They should slaughter Maryland, but it is the ACC so who knows?
5 – Fl st, ok not feeling so confident again, really I’m picking fl st on the road? But BC is bad bad… have I mentioned I hate picking ACC games? To be fair I’m bad at all the games, but the ACC seems to confound me more than others.
4 – Mich, big win for team up north last week, that is the point in the season the last couple of years where they would implode and tank the season, now I think they could lose this week, probably will lose 1 or 2 of their remaining 4 games (hopefully at least the last one!!), but they also look to have the talent to win all 4 of those games. Time will tell I guess.
3 – Baylor, at home off a big embarrassing loss, time to score 70 pts.
2 – Ark, coin flip game going home team.
1 – bama, the 10k dollar question, I’d like to have some insightful breakdown of why, but I don’t do research (aka regurgitate what I hear/read on espn), I go on gut feeling, limited knowledge from watching some college football and mostly on my hatred of one of the teams. In this case, bama is home and I’d rather LSU win because Nick Saban is the poster child for slimy corrupt coaches for hire. Bill Belichick calls Saban to tell him to lighten up on the reports they just have a job to do!! Seriously he has the personality of the wet paint. Anyway, geaux crazy Les!
One last thing… Mark May is a Douche!!
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