Our long national nightmare is over – ok that’s way
overboard, but us diehard football fans know how long and awful the off-season
can be and when game week comes it is like xmas morning all week long! Well an
xmas morning where santa might show up and kick you in the balls and then spit
on your dog.
Ok, how was the off-season? Well let’s see lots of hype for
the buckeyes all undone by a shoulder injury? We shall see… I never count my
buckeye’s out, having said that Navy’s QB is making me nervous after the
debacle that was our defense last year. Hopefully we will be pulled from the
ashes (get it Ashes? Oh yeah mid season lame form!!) and the silver bullets
will be back and in attack mode!! Again, we shall see…
Well here goes nothing…
10 pts – Free Shoe’s U is back and cheating err winning
again and will continue with a cowboy beat down!!
9 pts – Bama bama bama, when will teams learn don’t schedule
bama for your opening game. Even if they aren’t great or have questions going
into the season they pay better than you and nickey crouchy pants will have all
off season to prepare to crush you and then if you’re a mid level wanna be like
West Virgina? Gonna get ugly!
8 pts – There are some people talking about bucky badger
being back? To what? Not impressed am I and frankly, Les Miles might be bat
shit crazy, ok he is definitely bat shit crazy but I tell you what I’m damn
glad he’s still in the bayou where bat shit crazy is celebrated and not up in
Ann Arbor or Urban might very well not be 2-0 against that team up north!! (Oh
LSU wins if that wasn’t clear)
7 pts – THIS IS NOT A MISPRINT, THE BRUINS ARE THE BEST
FOOTBALL PROGRAM IN CALIFORNIA RIGHT NOW! Man that must make some people really
happy and I’m not sure how long it will last, but for the time being they have
a legit Heisman trophy candidate (Aikman anyone?) and I’m picking them to go
cross country and win solidly against technically a top conference school. I
mean UVA is kind of a doormat of a bad conference, but they were better last
year. I’d say this is game most likely to make me look stupid, hopefully not…
6 pts - Despite local
radio guy doing his best Lou Holtz this am and making Navy’s qb sound like the
next Colin Kapernick and us having a young team with a redshirt freshman qb
that wasn’t supposed to play I really believe our talent overall should pull us
through, we will know early cause if the defense ain’t right and our defensive
line isn’t what they hyped to be, well it will be a long long long labor day
weekend in Buckeye nation.
5 pts – This is why I never get in the points because
N’western at home should destroy Cal, but Cal will have some never heard of QB
that will come out and announce his presense in a stadium of like 12k people
and the B1G will look like the joke most of the country rightfully think’s it
is, hope not Go Purple Power? Or whatever they cheer.
4 pts – So the ole ball coach has three straight 11 win
seasons in South Carolina for first time in school history and all those cocks
think this is their year to be that team from the SEC that wins it all. HEY
cock fans, the fact that your that excited over 11 win seasons with zero
championships shows that you ain’t the real thing and probably won’t be but
hey, 2nd tier SEC power is still pretty good football.
3 pts – The John Cooper of the SEC better beat Clemson at
home with a much better team or it might be the final straw for the fan base. I
think he will, but I’m not confident, because well if they shrivel up in big
moments you never know and Mark has tuck and hide cogeneses!!
2 pts – Have I mentioned I hate picking fucking Boise St
games, like when they should have beat sparty at sparty and shit themselves at
end of the game. Now they have no business going to the Georgia dome and
beating worse education rating in the country state, so they probably will beat
them by 3 touchdowns. Oh to be more specific I meant mississsssiipppii state.
1 pt – I think we have this game every year and yes it’s a
rivalry and yes it’s usually a close game and tough to pick, but what the fuck
do I know about these teams? Do I have an upper lip the size of a normal
person’s forehead? Do I bring up the hail-Mary to Desmond every chance I get?
Do I secretly masturbate to the stories Kirk has told me of his rendezvous with
the yogurt helps you shit on the regs lady? Do I get paid extra for every Lee
Corso sentence I can correctly translate to the viewing audience? Do I tweet
about tennis just so people won’t forget about me during the off season? Do I
look like I do Max Headroom cos-play at comicon? NO NO NO NO NO NO!! And if you
do find Fowler, well just hug the man, he works with Desmond Howard for crying
out loud!!
Ok, there it is off and running… Go Bucks!!!!
